


Ever Dream

by Lubamoon



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Accidental Use of the Force, Alternate Universe - Ben Solo Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben is in the WBW, Dark Side Rey, Everyone Is Alive, F/M, Fix-It, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Memory Loss, My First Fanfic, Pilot Ben Solo, Post-Trost Arc, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey is going to bring him back, Slow Romance, The Force Ships It, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Unresolved Romantic Tension, gentle undertanding and tall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 56,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22931578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lubamoon/pseuds/Lubamoon
Summary: "So, Ben is... Dead?" The word stuck in her throat "None of this is real?"Kira smiled broadly."Oh... Ben Solo is alive... the right question is Where is he?""Now, listen carefully, scavenger. If you come back, I will go with you and leave this world in peace. You'll have bigger problems to deal with. I will make your life a living hell until you accept me. But in return you will have a chance to get to Ben by the long road that will bring him back to you, because the answer is in the books, as you always knew. And the books are still in your lap, at the Falcon, just as you left them to come here.""If you decide to stay, you can pretend to have a life with him and you'll be happy. But both of you will be trapped forever in an endless cycle of time, and worst of all, you will be the only one to know the truth. Unless you tell Ben everything, How do you think he'll take it? Would he like to know he was the leader of the Knights of Ren, who wiped out entire planets and murdered his own father? You really think he's gonna love you after you tell him his life is a lie?"
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 54
Kudos: 67
Collections: The Rise of Skywalker: Fix-It Fic Edition





	1. I Walk Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Sueño Eterno](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23008717) by [Lubamoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lubamoon/pseuds/Lubamoon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Put all your angels on the edge  
> Keep all the roses, I'm not dead  
> I left a thorn under your bed  
> I'm never gone
> 
> Go tell the world I'm still around  
> I didn't fly, I'm coming down  
> You are the wind, the only sound  
> Whisper to my heart when hope is torn apart"
> 
> I walk alone - Tarja Turunen - My winter storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters are named like my favorite songs. Some are quite related to the content of the lyrics, others to the rhythm or melody.
> 
> Here is the complete playlist:  
> [Ever Dream Reylofic](http://open.spotify.com/user/an34ulo9l4jq48c9hf435wesp/playlist/6mCewsCI1JcOeRgnrQT4fq)  
> 

* * *

Another day of intense heat followed by icy night. Another day of effort, fatigue, sand and loneliness. Rey tried to fill her days with activities that kept her thoughts on the sidelines, she really had a lot of work to do.

The Lars Homestead, Luke's former house in Tatooine was her household after the end of the war against the First Order, but Rey wasn't sure she could call it her home. She had chosen that place to pay homage to her teachers, the only people she had considered family in her whole life, along with her friends in the Resistance.

The isolation of her new life painfully reminded of her years in Jakku, although Rey knew that there was nothing left for her in her home planet. She had waited for her family for years until she understood that it would never happen. Discovering that they had been killed trying to protect her, also brought her no peace of mind.

 _Solitude_.

And what was there for her in Tatooine? Memories of other people who brought sense to her life but were now gone. While living in Jakku, Rey had never imagined the future because her life consisted of waiting, always waiting.

And suddenly, in a few years her life had changed completely.

For a moment she felt part of something more important while trying to understand what her purpose was. She tried and managed to win the battle against the darkness and finally a new order had been established. Even in the most difficult times, she had not allowed herselfto imagine a future for her own. And now that she was living it,she wasn't happy.

Her temporary home was the _Millennium Falcon_ and from there she travelled back and forth to the house in order to make it habitable. Her task was difficult, since it had been abandoned for so many years. The inclemency of the desert sandstorms and the roaming looters had really made a mess of the place. While working alongside the droid BB-8, Rey felt the presence of ghosts parading through the rooms carrying their memories, some of happiness and others of despair. But she couldn't help feeling a stranger, alien to that past.

While she was conditioning the house, she didn't think about anything other than surviving the hostile climate, the possible marauders and the scarcity of resources. But some nights, overcome by exhaustion, her feelings arose to torture her. She tried with relative success to keep the saddest ones away.

It had been a few months since Rey had last seen her friends and it seemed that they had managed to rebuild their lives little by little. Most nights she tried to communicate with them on the other side of the galaxy. Although they were glad to hear from her, Rey knew that her friends did not fully understand her desire for isolation. To tell the truth, she didn't understand it either. But she was doing what she did best: stay alive.

 _Solitude_.

And worst of all was that feeling that something was missing.

As she made progress in housing, she felt increasingly anxious. She repeated to herself that everything would improve when she could inhabit it. But in her heart there was no thrill to start a new life. She kept her body active but she feared that the moment she heard some voices in her head was getting closer. Dreams mixed with memories and visions began to be more and more frequent as the days went by and presented painful glimpses of the great issue she was avoiding seeing.

The silence on the other side of the Force bond. _Ben_

Rey had closed to the Force to save herself pain. Nor did she want to see Luke or Leia because she feared what they were going to tell him about Ben. She didn't want to see, but missed them and needed their advice. But the kind of loneliness she felt was deeper. She missed seeing _him_.

The link between Rey and Ben had been more than just a Force bond. Despite being enemies they had similar stories of abandonment and hopelessness. The few times they had been close without confronting each other were enough for Rey to understand that Ben was the only one who could come to understand her contradictory feelings. And she had ventured that he felt the same.

But the stubbornness of staying on different sides of the battlefield, light against darkness, made communication difficult. The words and actions between them opposed their souls' efforts to achieve balance. Ultimately Rey understood that just as there was a spark of light in Ben, there was also some darkness in her own soul.

The most painful memory was also the happiest. Rey was certain that Ben had changed as soon as she saw him arrive in Exegol to fight Palpatine along with her. For a fleeting moment she felt something new and profound that she could not identify. But that moment passed in front of her and slipped through her fingers with the same speed it had arrived, without being able to do anything to prevent it. _He was gone._

One night, after a particularly tiring day, Rey prepared to sleep. Soon she would be able to actually move into the house, she thought vaguely. But she felt particularly sad for the memories. Her friends were busy or unavailable asshe tried to communicate with them with no success. Nor could she have told them about the sorrows that weighed on her, she could not have told them how Ben fought and gave his life for her in a last act of redemption. They would only see Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order, and take with mistrust and disbelief the story of Ben Solo's transformation.

In the grip of an impulse, Rey sought the one evidence she could keep from the battle. She took Ben's shirt, the only thing left of him, and brushed with his fingers the place where the cloth was burned and a section was missing, the place where she had stabbed him. Her eyes filled with tears. What was the meaning of everything? Win the war, save the galaxy and recover Ben, if after all, everyone had lost too much.

Rey had lost even more: the possibility of something she would not know. For her there was only loneliness.

But the old habit of waiting was hard to quit. A small part of her hoped to see him again. Although she was afraid to face the truth that he was part of a world she could not access.

_No one's ever really gone._

Rey couldn't explain how, but she was sure of that. And she had to do something about it.

She still kept the books of the Jedi temple on the island of Ahch-To, but she had already reviewed them several times in the past and had not found anything to serve her. She took one and started leafing through it, paying more attention to the side notes she had not noticed before.

She closed her eyes and prepared to meditate. The Force was a good place to start and she needed answers, no matter how painful they were.

_Be with me._

The rhythm of her breathing slowed and she felt the blood run thick in her veins. She focused all energy on sending a call. And Rey was waiting for _him_ to answer.

Perhaps because of the exhaustion of the day or for having blocked the use of the Force for so long, Rey fell asleep.

********

  
Sometime later Rey woke up startled but could not move. She abruptly fell down on the bunk from a considerable height as she was levitating. Sore but unharmed, she slowly sat up and tried to focus her eyes to gather her bearings. Inside the _Falcon_ the light of a new day began to illuminate the room.

As his stomach complained of hunger, she prepared a brief breakfast.

Something was wrong.

Rey felt that something around her was different but she couldn't tell what. An ephemeral and distant disturbance of Force indicated that her meditation had not been entirely fruitless. But she didn't imagine the consequences yet.

She approached the ship's cabin only to discover that the landscape had nothing to do with the Tatooine desert. Perplexed, she watched the tall snow-covered trees moving fiercely with a cruel blizzard. Trying to find out where in the universe she was now, she tried the _Falcon_ star-charts and navigation controls but it was useless. Nothing seemed to be working well.

Suddenly she felt cold and a little scared. She couldn’t understand what was happening but she suspected it was her fault for having pushed her skills with the Force to the limit. She had somehow appeared in this unknown place and for some reason she still ignored. Rey pinched his arm tightly only to check that she was not dreaming. She wasn’t.

She looked for warm clothes to explore nearby. Still slightly chilly, she also put on Ben's shirt, which was quite large for her. She told herself that it was because of the cold but in fact she felt a little more accompanied by him.

Outside the ship were indications of a forced landing, fallen trees and broken branches that snow and wind soon began to cover. Rey felt no presence, no signs of life, however she decided not to get too far away and turned on her lightsaber. As she walked, the wind erased her tracks.

"Stop right there!"

Rey was startled to suddenly feel a threatening voice. She slowlyturned still with while still holding the saber in her right hand ready to face the invader.

"Throw the saber away and don't even think about doing any of your Jedi tricks"

Rey did what the man asked and threw the saber at his feet. The stranger took it and fastened it on his belt where he already had another of the same kind. The girl noticed the weapon with which he was aiming and then carefully studied her captor. There was something strange in the way he moved, he was tall and a little hunched over. His face was covered by a kind of balaclava with goggles, similar to what Rey used in his days as a scavenger to protect herself from the sand, but in this case adapted to the low temperatures.

She could not draw any conclusions about his identity, but what she was sure of the hostility he felt for her. Why did he feel remotely familiar?

Another man of similar appearance appeared among the trees. He also carried a gun and aimed at Rey, although he was much shorter than the first and wore only a fur cap on his head.

 _Poe?_ Rey thought upon recognizing him, and opened her mouth to call him by his name when he interrupted her in a tone between contemptuous and amused.

"So you found the thief, good job!" And he patted his partner's back. "She doesn't seem dangerous." He looked closely at the girl from top to bottom with a strange grin on his face.

"She's much more than that", the first spoke again and Rey felt his words send a shiver of fear down her spine.

The girl did not understand anything that was happening, so she decided to put her thoughts in order. She was on an unknown planet, alone, with two subjects who had come out of nowhere, pointed weapons at her and treated her as a thief. Poe didn't seem to recognize her or was playing a heavy joke. To get out of this strange situation, she could not resort to the use of Force, she would have to negotiate and be diplomatic.

"Listen" She tried to move forward but the men stopped her with a shout of threat. Rey stopped with his hands up. “I am not the owner of the _Falcon_ but that does not make me a thief. I just borrowed it.” In fact, that didn't sound very convincing, which made her bite her lip.

"So how do you explain that the ship was missing for years and suddenly we received its signal here in Hoth?" Poe snapped at her.

Rey was putting the pieces together in her mind. At least she already knew where she was. She still needed to understand the reason for her presence there.

"Another storm is coming, let's take it inside the ship or we're all going to freeze," said the mysterious man without giving her time to answer, as he kept pointing. "Walk". He approached Rey with a nod of his head and the girl led the procession towards the _Millennium Falcon_. Suddenly the wind blew strongly making noise in Rey's ears and with great effort they traveled the reverse path she had made minutes before.

  
"Well?" Poe insisted again, already aboard the _Falcon_. “I still want to know how this ship came to your hands and how did you manage to handle it alone. We’ve already verified that there is no one else here”

 _Where is BB-8?_ Rey thought, but she got a little distracted looking at the other guy who still had his face covered and was starting to take off his coat. There was something disturbing about him.

Turning his head towards Poe, she decided to be cautious and not reveal much information.

"The previous owner entrusted me with the ship to make some repairs"

A sarcastic laugh from the entrance of the ship interrupted her. Poe and Rey turned to question the mysterious man, who had removed the artifact from his face.

"That's hard to believe."

Rey held her breath in shock. She could not believe what she was beholding. That familiar voice was none other than Ben Solo's, as hewas staring at her with a mixture of fun and curiosity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing a Fan-Fic and I'm very excited!  
> It's a humble tribute to Reylo, it's something I really wanted to do because I like this fandom (which I confess I was a little late in getting) and I love these characters. I wanted them to have more time together, a second chance. I think they deserve it.
> 
> I write originally in Spanish because it's my native language, but it's available in English too.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	2. Storytime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I am the journey,  
> I am the destination  
> I am the home  
> The tale that reads you  
> A way to taste the night  
> The elusive high  
> Follow the madness  
> Alice, you know once did"
> 
> Storytime - Nightwish - Imaginaerum

* * *

The impact of seeing Ben alive again was devastating.

In a short time, Rey had experienced various feelings about him. Fighting together against the common enemy as equals, trusting that the Light had led him to redemption, was one of the happiest emotions he ever felt.

_Two souls that are one, a dyad of the Force_

Those moments in Exegol, when Ben had brought her back to life and then disappeared, suddenly returned leaving her mind in shock. His last words through the link did not give her the comfort she expected. It wasn’t fair.

_I will always be with you_

And there he was, in front of her, as she remembered. Wasn't it what she wanted the most, to see him once more? Well, things were going quite differently than Rey had imagined.

Ben observed the girl with more attention. He couldn't help feeling something strange around him that caused him discomfort, like something that was _out of place_. But the girl's features became remotely familiar, as if he had seen her in dreams. Her eyes wide open, seemed to be about to shed some tears and her lips seemed to ask a barely audible question

_"How is it possible?"_

Recovering his will, Ben approached the girl and, still looking into her eyes, raised his eyebrows with a questioning gesture.

"How did you convince Han Solo to let you put your hands on his beautiful ship?"

Rey choked on the answer but soon regained control. Her voice was a little broken by emotions, but she immediately managed to dominate them. She decided to increase the confusion of the men with half-truths.

“It was not held by Han Solo. I recovered the _Falcon_ from its last owner, Unkar Plutt, in Jakku”

"So in Jakku," Poe intervened. "Well, that explains the sand" he wiped his hands with a casual gesture.

Ben didn't seem very convinced.

"Who are you?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. His curiosity increased with each passing second.

"My name is Rey ..." the girl bit her tongue. Neither her blood relationship with Palpatine nor her recently adopted last name Skywalker could benefit her in this interrogation.

In Ben's mind everything was spinning. He had heard stories about a certain apprentice uncle Luke Skywalker´s Jedi who had previously been a scavenger in Jakku, although he did not know her name or appearance. The young Padawan, seduced by darkness, had chosen to join the First Order and a group of fanatics known as the Knights of Ren, calling herself Kira Ren. Their atrocities were unprecedented in the galaxy and were a constant threat to everyone.

But it could not be the same person in front of him. The girl who claimed to be called Rey emitted an aura of warm, powerful, persistent light. Also great sadness. Nonetheless, Ben decided to stay alert.

"It's a stroke of luck that Han's ship has suddenly appeared," Poe said, taking Ben's arm and dragging him a little further away. He turned his head in the direction of Rey and looked at her curiously. "Sure is a great pilot"

"Or a spy," Ben said. “I have reasons to believe that she is not who she says she is”

Rey listened to the men argue as she clenched her fists. It was clear that they did not trust her and that they had not recognized her. But what hurt her most was the coldness in Ben's tone of voice.

In her mind the pieces were ordered and she soon found herself accepting the possibility that she was no longer in her own reality. Somehow, almost by accident, the Force had guided her to that encounter. After all, she was looking for answers, although she didn't imagine that she would get any more questions.

All she could say was that Ben was alive, but something didn't fit, he didn't feel _like him_.

Rey calculated her options. _What am I going to tell them?_ They probably wouldn't believe her but she wasn't in a position to lie either. In her mind she wanted to flee but something held her there. She decided to go slowly and trust her instincts.

The sound of an alarm startled them all. Poe pressed a button on his portable intercom and a worried voice warned them light years away that the First Order had discovered the location of the Resistance base near there, and had sent a small fleet of star fighters.

"I would love to continue with this beautiful questionnaire but we have to go" Poe looked at Rey and smugly added "Nothing we can't handle" Then he turned to Ben, urgently "What do we do with _her_?"

Ben was starting to get irritated. Poe could become the most absurd at times. "I'm not going to leave _her_ here after looking for so long!" He jumped "My mother will understand the situation"

"I meant _the girl_ " Poe looked at Rey and winked "We could use some help" and offered a dazzling smile.

Rey felt a small ray of hope. Ben glared at Poe.

"Whatever!" Poe turned around "I'm leaving, anyway it seems I'm out of place here." He patted Ben's shoulder and then turned to the girl. “Nice to meet you, Rey of Jakku! If you are planning to join the good guys, ask for Poe Dameron. ”He took one of Rey's hands and kissed her with a gallant gesture.

Ben couldn't decide if he was more bothered by Poe's seductive attitude or Rey's excited look. He tried to calm down. No good things happened when he got angry and did not want to show any weakness that she could use against him. The feeling of not being aware of something important had never liked him. He wanted to know more, he wanted to know everything.

When they were alone there was a tense silence.

Rey felt exhausted, so she dropped into one of the armchairs. It didn't hurt to put some distance between Ben and her, at least until she could explain what was happening. She could not imagine how he was going to take what she had to say.

Ben crossed his arms and leaned against the opposite wall. It would be fair to introduce himself, after all she had done it. He told himself that it was not bad to know her a little better after all. But before he could speak, Rey stood up and interrupted him.

"Ben" His voice sounded like a caress. “I know you don't trust me. You barely know me and all this is hard to believe” Rey seemed to drown herself in her words. "Even for me it is"

The aforementioned was startled _"How does she know my name?"_ Ben recalled the brief exchanges with his uncle Luke, at the time he had considered becoming a Jedi. " _She can read my mind."_ Luckily he knew how to prepare his defenses to block it.

_No, this is something else._

Ben let her keep talking. He could not think clearly. But a small part of him wanted to trust the strange woman. He _needed_ to trust her.

“I will explain all the best that I can, if you promise to just listen to me”

He nodded briefly while looking at her. Rey began to walk nervously around the place with one hand on her forehead and another on her waist.

"You have already called me Jedi, although you may know that I never completed my training." Rey took a breath. "There were circumstances that prevented me, but I learned some things by consulting the old texts of the Order" He interpreted Ben's silence as an impulse to continue. “I was looking for a person with whom I had an unusual relationship in the Force. We both formed a dyad” He decided not to clarify that this person was him because he wasn't sure it was. “That is the reason I am here. The Force brought me to this place.” In the end she seemed to doubt. "Maybe it will be easier if I show you"

Ben knew what Rey meant. She intended him to enter her mind so that he could verify the truth of her words. In theory, he knew how the technique worked, but he never done it in practice.

However, a fleeting image occupied his mind for a moment and then disappeared. At the scene, the young woman he had just met was imprisoned, motionless in a chair, while he extended a gloved hand towards her. _Curious_ , He didn't remember that something like this had happened before.

Back in his reality, Ben extended a hand near Rey's forehead without touching her and his mind was flooded by a frenzy of images, which were her feelings and memories.

As if they were the loose pieces of a puzzle, he could only get some clues, but it did not troubled him to get the bigger picture of the story the woman was showing him. She realized that the world she came from was _different_ although he could not specify why. Some parts escaped his grasp or were hidden.

He could feel the loneliness and silence of her days, the tiredness and heat of the desert, the effort to find the lost person and what it meant to her. And finally, the stupor of actually finding that person.

Ben withdrew his startled hand. He was not willing to believe that the person Rey was desperately looking for was _him_. For the simple reason that he didn't remember _having died_ , much less _having given his life for her_. In fact _he would_ remember the kiss. But all that meant nothing to him.

"I'm sorry. I'm not the person you're looking for. ”He released with a whisper, looking away. Something in his stomach stirred with longing.

_But I could be._

"I know". Rey suspected it was not, but the revelation did not diminish her disappointment. She sat down again, exhausted by the mental effort of the exchange. “For some reason I am here. I do not fully understand what is happening. I just want answers. ”

Not knowing why he did it, Ben approached her and took her face with his hands in a gesture of unexpected tenderness. An immense desire to protect her seized him, displacing part of the distrust she had inspired moments before.

She began to suspect that there was a reason why the Force had taken her to him, only that it was not clear what it was.

But moments later he abruptly pulled away.

"Where are those books you are talking about?" An idea began to take shape in Ben's mind. If she was so powerful in the Force to travel from one reality to another, she could be useful in some way.

Rey searched the books of the sanctuary of Ahch-to but it was in vain, they were nowhere to be found.

“They are not here, but I know where to find them”

"I’ll help you" Now it was Rey who looked at him in disbelief. "But in exchange for something." The girl nodded and Ben continued "I need to find my father"

Before she could accept the offer, a nearby explosion shook the Falcon.

The First Order had found them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!  
> I always liked to write but it's the first time that I dare to do it.  
> I confess that I have arrived a little late to this fandom, but I couldn't help falling in love with these two. That's why I wanted to pay them a humble tribute, giving them a second chance and more time together.
> 
> I can't accept that Ben has died in TROS, I prefer to believe that he is in the World Between Worlds and that Rey will be able to meet him again.
> 
> That's why in this story some details will be revealed later, but they will have the ending they deserve.
> 
> thanks for your comments! I am very excited about this project!


	3. Sleepwalker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The place between sleep and awake  
> End of innocence  
> Unending masquerade  
> That`s where I`ll wait for you"
> 
> Sleepwalker - Nightwish - Wishmaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer because I needed our heroes to talk more.  
> Little by little everything is making sense, Ben and rey are getting closer.  
> But there is also some action!
> 
> Thank you for reading!

* * *

There was no time to lose. The explosions of the laser cannons were heard closer and closer and the First Order would soon discover the place where the _Millennium Falcon_ had landed with its precious cargo.

In a matter of seconds, the events of the day went into the background. The urgent thing was to survive and escape.

Ben and Rey had to leave that planet. Exchanging a look of understanding, they both made their way to the _Falcon's_ cabin.

"The controls are not responding," Rey tried to calmly think about his possibilities without panicking. "Maybe something got damaged on the landing." She wasn't sure how she got there in the first place. But she decided to think about that later. The moment was pressing.

"I have a couple of tricks that can work." Ben's seemingly calm voice didn't quite convince the girl. Although, seconds later the two drowned a cry of surprise to see that the ship ignited. The lights of the controls blinked and began to rise slowly. But Ben's smile turned into a gesture of frustration when the energy cut off abruptly.

Rey watched Ben's maneuvers impatiently while at the front window he already distinguished the unmistakable silhouette of the TIE fighters. In a matter of seconds they would be under fire.

"Ben" Rey laid his thin hand on his. “We’ll get out of here. We will do this together.”

The Falcon seemed to answer her prayers and the engines came back to life, gradually rising above the snow-covered trees. They were already a visible target for enemies, but Ben was an expert pilot. Moving away at great speed, they soon regained lost time.

Rey fastened her belt in the passenger seat, unable to suppress a giggle of happiness. Ben was also smiling and the eyes of the two met for an instant that seemed abnormally long, scattering sparks through the adrenaline of the escape.

The impact of a shot on the side of the ship brought them back to reality. Luckily Rey had not forgotten to activate the reflector shield. The blow had not been critical, although they lost speed and altitude.

"We must destroy them!" Ben struggled to stay in the air while an alarm sounded loudly. "They will never let us leave the planet alive!"

Nodding, Rey ran to the center of the ship, reeling a little until Ben regained control. When he reached the post of the _Falcon's_ lower quad laser cannon, Rey turned on the artillery controls and focused on targeting their attackers. She had already done it many times in the past, and hoped that this time they would also win.

The _Falcon_ already took advantage when Rey hit the first shot. One of the four TIE fighters fell like a fireball, burning the trees in the winter morning.

They were approaching an area of mountains without vegetation, the stormy sky and the ground could hardly be distinguished in a white tide of coldness and vastness.

"Ben!" Rey shouted over the comm "You must fly near the ground, that confuses their trackers!" Another ship was approaching dangerously but, after Ben's maneuver, it crashed into a steep peak that appeared out of nowhere. There were only two left.

Rey felt that her heart was racing, remembering how many times she and Ben had fought together, harnessing the power of their bond and how right it felt. Although she could not say that the same thing was happening at that moment, she could assure that the Force intervened for them by helping them escape.

Ben didn't know how but he felt that he and the Falcon had become one. No other sense could have served him better, since he could do without seeing in such a situation.

The remaining two ships surrounded them on each side, trying to lock them up, but he suddenly raised the Falcon. The TIE fighters did not see it coming or could stop in time, so they collided with each other shattering.

They were safe. At least for now.

"We did it!" Rey shouted as he ran to the cabin with a dazzling smile that took Ben's breath away. In the frenzy of emotion she wanted to hug him but seemed to change his mind at the last moment. Then she held out her hand in a friendly gesture and smiled with relief when he reciprocated.

The contact stirred Ben for a brief moment, as had happened not long before when he took his face with his hands. But this time it was more intense. After a blink, a new vision appeared before him.

_A small, bright room that moved, looked like an elevator. Rey was in front of him with his hair half loose on her back and his hands cuffed. Ben stared at her lips as she uttered some words in a conversation in which nothing made sense._

_“You don't have to do this. I feel the conflict inside you, it is tearing you apart. Ben, when we touched our hands I saw your future. Only its shape, but solid and clear. You will not bow to Snoke. You will turn. I'll help you. I saw it"_

_“I saw something too. From what I saw, I know that when the time comes you will become. You will stay with me ”_

"BEN!"

Rey's scream vanished the hallucination and soon he was back in the _Falcon_ , right where he remembered.

"Are you OK?" The girl was holding him by the shoulders. "You fainted!"

_He was definitely going crazy._

"It's nothing, I'm a little exhausted." He said sitting up. There was no point in explaining something he didn't understand. His smirk failed to makeRey stop worrying. "We will look for those books so you can return to your home, _where you belong_." He did not want to sound sharp and regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. He looked down at the floor, ashamed. He knew Rey's feelings _as if they were his own_ , she was not his enemy and he had no reason to hurt her. But he didn't know how to apologize.

Rey's eyes darkened. His tone told her that he didn't want her there, that he didn't trust her, despite having fought by his side seconds before. _And why did she care?_ He was not the other half of his soul, there was no Force relationship between them, they were not a dyad. But none of this convinced her, nothing made sense if they were not clear to each other.

Although she couldn’t admit it aloud, Rey was eager to stay. She didn't want to fool herself by chasing a mirage, but the temptation was very big and _she was so tired_. Tired of having her defenses up all the time, tired of trusting the Force for everything. Rey wanted to feel her heart, wanted to feel loved, and wanted to spend as much time as possible with Ben Solo, even if he didn't remember her or share a past.

_They could build it together, if he let her._

Rey felt she was close to finding the answers she needed. She was not going to give up now. Shewasn't going to give up on _him._

There was a long way to go yet.

"The books are in the first Jedi temple of Ahch-To, in the Unknown Regions." Rey wished that in this reality he could also find Luke there, but he wasn't so sure. “There is information that could explain why I am here and how to return home.”

Ben nodded, in his student years with Luke he had heard the place mentioned and investigated about it. “We should look for provisions and verify the status of the Falcon before continuing. Maybe get some rest too.” His body and especially his mind had to recover energy and get in order.

“And what do we do about your father? You said I could help you find it.” Rey insisted. "What happened to him?" she located herself in the passenger seat, next to where Ben had sat.

He sighed deeply, "It's a long story." His gaze was lost in the void of space. “The relationship with my father is not, uhm ... let's say, close. I've seen him very rarely over the years. ”

"And why are you looking for him, then?"

"For my mother. She needs him." He added "She already lost too much."

Rey smiled sweetly at the mention of his previous Master, Leia Organa. She had been a mother to her. She would like to see her again, tell her everything she couldn't. But she couldn't do it now either, not in these circumstances, it wouldn't make sense to Leia.

Ben continued his story.

“The last thing I know about Han Solo is that he no longer owned the _Millennium Falcon_. He would have lost it in a bad transaction, but it always seemed somewhat unrealistic. ” With a wave of his hand, he pointed out his surroundings. “He would never have separated from his ship. That's why I suspected you when you said he had lent it to you. ”He looked at Rey with a questioning gesture.

"Maybe I wasn't quite sincere, but that was becauseyou were pointing a gun atme " Rey defended herself against the accusation. “But you're not wrong about that, GannisDucain stole Han's ship and then went to the Irving gang. UnkarPlutt was its last owner and I stole it from him. ” She thought Ben gave him a look of admiration. "This ship was modified countless times since your father lost it, but there is something here that only belonged to him and that is very significant." Rey felt optimistic. “If we use that object, I could find Han through the Force. But I warn you that the visions are not always clear and it may take a while until we can locate it. ”

Ben regained hope and looked at Rey with new respect. He had such a desire to believe in her.

_No. he was sure he could trust her._

"This will work." Ben looked up and took a couple of small aurodium dice joined by a chain. He looked at them in the palm of his hand, briefly closing his fingers over them. He then handed them over to Rey, who didn’t lose a detail of the emotions that passed through his eyes.

Rey took the object and concentrated on it. Multiple voices began to sound in her mind, the images looked blurry at first but she could slowly distinguish them. She had only felt something similar when he found Luke's saber at Maz Kanata's castle in Takodana. She thought she recognized Leia's voice, warm and low, smiling through the memory.

_Ben, like a little boy, always following Han. Carrying the dice and promising anyone who would hear that one day he would also be a pilot, like his dad._

But she had to focus on Han Solo, which was complicated because Rey had her own memories that overlapped in that new reality where shewas. She had to avoid the part where she had seen Han die at the hands of KyloRen because that would only bring confusion to both of them. She used the little energy she had left, knowing the effort would be worth it.

_Trees.Green.A great lake.The Falcon.Takodana. Han Solo's voice_

_I don't need so much for the Falcon. Maybe one more.A second officer.Someone to help, someone who can keep up with Chewie and me, and who is smart enough to know when to step aside.Someone who knows how to appreciate the Falcon and its hidden abilities._

This was not taking her anywhere. Why couldn't she see beyond his own memories?

_“You had a father who loved you. He didn't give a damn. ”_

_"I didn't hate him."_

_"Then why?"_

_"Why" what "? Why "what"? Say it!"_

_"Why you killed? I do not get it!"_

_"Do not? Your parents discarded you like trash. ”_

Rey was on the edge of her strength and was frustrated. Nothing she had seen could help them because she was unable to discern her own feelings. Just as she didn't accept that Ben was dead. She felt unbalanced, vulnerable.

And after that, she didn't remember anything else.

* * *

Rey slowly opened his eyes, trying to focus hersight while her body complained about being immobile for a long time. Recognizing the space, she discovered that she was lying on a bunk embedded in the wall of the room that worked as a kitchen.

_Ben ..._

She saw him sitting on the floor, his back against the wall. He seemed to be sound asleep, but he soon reactivated and met Rey's gaze.

"How are you?" Ben's voice denoted too much concern and a little relief.

"What happened? Rey held a hand to the side of her head. Her temples beat like hammers causing her a lot of pain. The place was small so her head almost collided with the ceiling before she could get up.

"You were meditating and you passed out." Ben got up quickly. "I brought you here, but maybe the floor was more comfortable"

She couldn't help a spontaneous smile. At least he was trying to joke and was kind to her. It was a good sign. "I'll be fine in a few moments." Rey felt the pain fade little by little. "Thank you, Ben."

"It’s okay." He was about to give away how worried he was and the fear he felt if she didn't wake up. It was a feeling he knew. He didn't know how, but he knew her and he hadn't liked it at all. _Why did Rey cause those feelings?_ Confusing him, making him doubt about his sanity.

Rey noticed Ben's moodiness, feeling guilty because her abilities with the Force had not allowed him to help him. That practice only served to see memories that belonged to the past. _Was it really like that?_

_Maybe he was mad at her._

A rather loud sound, coming from Rey's stomach, distracted both of their dark thoughts. She blushed violently when Ben raised his eyebrows and the corners of his lips curved in a funny gesture.

"How long have you not eaten something?" Without waiting for the answer, he turned to prepare something in the kitchen. Minutes later he served Rey a cup of steaming tea and a plate with an appetizing-looking bread. He also served a cup for himself and waited for her to take the first bite before doing the same.

Rey had never needed anyone. _No._ She corrected. _She had never had anyone taking care of her_. And that was what she knew. But the feeling of having someone to watch over her health and take care of her was novel and _pleasant_. Her friends did, of course, but differently. She was looking for _something else_.

Rey's guts roared in joyful response and both burst into laughter. There was something intimate, familiar, in the situation _. It felt natural_.

"Where are we exactly?" Rey kept the newly discovered sensations, trying to change the subject.

"Given the circumstances, I thought it would be best to return to the Resistance Base, you may need medical help."

"I'm fine, don’t worry. I can heal with the Force, remember? ” Rey immediately lamented, she had sounded arrogant. In a softer tone, he added. “Thanks, Ben. Really."

Something in the way she said his name affected him in a special way. Ben smiled and looked away to another place, a little awkward.

“Then, there is a little time until we get there. I think I should rest a little too.” The adrenaline of combat and anxiety about Rey's state had already passed, it had been a long day.

* * *

As soon as he rested his head on the awkward cot pillow, Ben fell asleep deeply. But his dream was not restful. Violent images invaded him constantly, too realistic for his taste.

_Death.Pain.Suffering.Desperate screams and chaos everywhere.A cross-shaped saber with a fractured crystal of red light like blood. The bearer of that weapon was full of anger and considered himself monstrous and invincible._

_And apparently it was his._

_A deep feeling of loss and anguish that was within himself from the beginning, since he could remember._

_Rey appeared intermittently, sometimes fighting him fiercely, sometimes beside him in harmony with the Force._

_And then calm and peace.A planet of thunderstorms.Blue and dark._

He woke up breathless and abruptly, without understanding the last image. In fact, none made sense to him. He felt tired, sick, as if he was delirious with fever. Anyway, he couldn't go back to sleep. He didn't even try.

But something was changing inside him. I was beginning to consider the possibility that he was also misplaced, somehow.

Rey was not doing better. Maybe her body was recovering but her mind didn't leave her alone. she had so much to understand that she didn't know where to start. She needed to get out of there for a while, but in a spaceship that was quite complicated.

She thought that perhaps, the vision of space through the cabin would allow her to tidy her head, soshe went there.

But as she was distracted, she collided with something solid in the hallway. That was not a wall.

Ben reacted in time to hold her, before she fell on her back. For a second that lasted an eternity, both seemed embraced. Rey was the first to recover and put some distance between them.

"I can't sleep," they said at the same time. _A dyad_ , Rey thought wistfully.

"Maybe we could take advantage of insomnia for something useful." Rey thought he could ask more things about his life, things he would have liked to know about Ben Solo.

Misinterpreting totally the meaning of Rey's words, a strange grimace appeared on Ben's face. He didn't dislike it at all, but he didn't feel able to share physical intimacy with anyone at that time.

"I'd like to know you a little better before that, Rey, it's not like I don't like you ..."

Rey gave him a strange look and then widened her eyes when she understood what he suggested.

"Oh! Not that!" Rey's cheeks lit up. "I meant that we can talk about our next steps, maybe you have things to ask me and I to you"

Ben understood his mistake and felt terrible. _And quite disappointed._ He seriously considered using one of the escape pods to get out of there and not have to see Rey for quite some time. But he responded to his discomfort as quickly as he could, happy to change the subject.

"Of course! There are things I want to know.” He gestured to the _Falcon_ ’s room where the chairs and the _Dejaik_ table were. "We will be more comfortable there." Ben kept other images of Rey at bay that began to enter his mind and were not exactly innocent.

Rey, still a little shocked, followed him and sat on the other side. Something stirred in her as she remembered what Ben had suggested. _It's not that he doesn't like you. That is, what do you expect, just a day ago that you appeared in your life to put everything upside down. But then,Does he like you or not?_

"Have you drived the _Falcon_ before?" She tried to break the tension with a neutral theme. Rey knew what kind of pilot Ben was but he would never have imagined he would live the day to see him drive Han Solo's ship.

"I always wanted to be a pilot, like my father." Ben dropped lazily on the other end of the table. “But he never let me touch his _beautiful_ ship. Maybe he didn't believe I was good enough for _her_. ” A hint of sadness appeared in his voice. “Uncle Lando and Chewie taught me everything I know about ships. I learned the rest on my own in some missions for the Resistance. ”

"Then there you met Poe Dameron"

Ben was bothered by Rey's comment more than he dared to admit. He imagined that she had been fascinated with his friend as soon as they met, that same day. He gave the girl a clumsy look and became defensive again, crossing his arms.

"If you want to know about Poe, why don't you ask him questions when we get there?"

Rey was a little funny about the situation. He knew Poe well and in fact he had never been attractive in the way Ben suggested. What was curious to him was how those two pair of stubbornness had become friends. _Was Ben jealous?_

“Where I come from you are enemies. Everything is different and at the same time very similar. I'm just trying to understand. ”Rey tried to win Ben's favor again.

"And how is it?" Ben leaned forward, genuinely interested. “Rey, since you arrived I’ve been feeling some strange things. Very real situations, visions of things that have never happened to me and you appear in many of them”

Rey's heart was pounding. _Could they be memories? His memories?_

“I arrived here without knowing how, guided by the Force. You know what I was looking for… ”Rey stopped to find the right words. “… a particular person. Things may not work the same here, so all this is new to me too. Maybe I have altered everything so much more than I thought. ”

“Maybe it's your memories, Rey. It would make more sense like that.” Ben continued with his assumptions. “I don't want to have anything to do with the Force, it never brought me anything but suffering. That is why I have closed myself to her.” The confession amazed Rey. "But since this morning there is something that pushes in my mind stronger and stronger, feels strange and at the same time too familiar"

An idea crossed her head and translated into a look of panic. Rey could feel what Ben was thinking.

_He is beginning to remember, but he is afraid._

After what seemed like an eternity, Rey took a long breath. "Those visions you have belong to the person I am looking for, or rather, to someone that _that person_ was in the past."

"And what kind of person was he?" Ben didn't want to keep inquiring but he had to get to the bottom of the matter.

"Kylo Ren" Rey pronounced a name that gave him chills. He had never heard of him but Ben knew that name.

The _Falcon's_ console warned them with a sound that they were entering the Ileenium System and there was little left to land in D’Qar, where the Resistance base was located.


	4. For the heart I once had

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Living today without a way  
> To understand the weight of the world  
> Faded and torn, old and forlorn  
> My weak and hoping heart
> 
> For the child, for the night  
> For the heart I once had  
> I believe and foresee  
> Everything I could ever be"
> 
> For the heart I once had - Nightwish - Dark Passion Play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter cost a bit as I had to research books and novels to do it. It's amazing how much information there is!  
> Our protagonists are slowly approaching and being attracted. Ben is accepting the course of things and so is Rey.  
> I promise more action in the next one!
> 
> Thanks for reading!

* * *

The inhabitants of the Resistance headquarters in D'Qar watched the newcomers without a hint of dissimulation as they passed by. The strange pair that made up Ben and Rey could not go unnoticed anywhere in the galaxy.

To see the _Prince of Alderaan_ in person, walking with a determined step towards the base, was already something new. Although Ben preferred to keep a low profile and not draw any attention to his background or exploits, among the Allies he was considered a war hero and the best of the pilots they had. But his prolonged absences and sullen attitude contributed to a mysterious image of him. No one got too close to him and no one knew him, except Poe Dameron, with whom he did not get along at all.

And who was the woman that came along with him?

Strange rumors began to spread around the place and Rey could feel the looks of curiosity and apprehension. She could almost swear that some people were afraid of her. So she tried to bring them calm with a friendly smile on her face but she imagined that the weariness of the previous events did not contribute to improve her image, on the contrary.

Although she had taken off her coat on the ship, Rey kept Ben's shirt because she didn't want to lose it. That garment was the only thing she had left from her previous life, the only thing the Force had allowed her to keep and for some reason she thought it might be key in her new situation. She also had her lightsaber, but it was still in Ben's possession.

No wonder Rey's looks caught everyone's attention. The shirt, too big for her, was broken in several places, not to mention the area where it was burned by her lightsaber. Rey kept it just as Ben had left it at Exegol for what some might have been called sentimental reasons, so its general condition was ruinous. The sleeves rolled up at her elbow and slipped a little. It was so long that it could almost have been a dress. Underneath, her white pants reached halfway down her calf and her boots had seen better days too. The only thing she kept intact was her hair with its characteristic three bows.

Rey promised herself that she would take off the garment when she arrived, as the jungle temperature and her own embarrassment were making her feel uncomfortable.

Ben looked sideways at Rey assessing her attitude and wondering if bringing her in was a good idea. He trusted her more than he dared say out loud, but he did not know how others would react to her unusual situation and the circumstances of her appearance. He decided that he would reveal only the bare minimum; there was no need to expose her to the danger of suspicion from friends or enemies.

Noticing that she found difficult to keep pace with him, he somewhat reduced the length of his strides. Rey looked tired, though Ben recognized her mettle and cheerfulness, for she surely had much to think about and not all of it would be encouraging thoughts. _Surely she is anxious to return home._

"So you've come anyways!" Poe Dameron received them inside the barracks where some curious passers-by slowed down to watch them carefully.

Rey smiled back at them, somewhat uncomfortably. She was not sure how to act with these people, considering that she knew them but the feeling was not reciprocated. She was afraid to say anything that would cause trouble or ruin Ben's lack of confidence in her.

Poe continued speaking, focusing his attention on the girl. "It's good to have new people to talk to, the topics here are quite scarce..." 

"We're just passing through, Poe." Ben interrupted him with a bit of a snap response, as he always did when the pilot got on his nerves. "Where's the General?" The severe tone of his voice sent shivers down Rey's spine, as it reminded her of Kylo Ren, but she dismissed the idea immediately. There was nothing to be gained by such thoughts.

Poe abandoned the joviality and led them to a sector far from the ear of the curious. "Leia is meeting with diplomats from the New Republic and other commanders." He cast a questioning glance at Rey as if deciding whether he could trust her or not.

Ben, understanding her caution, reassured him with a gesture. "You can trust Rey, she's on our side." Rey's heart skipped a beat due to the recognition.

"So be it." Poe continued with the report. "The group arrived as soon as we left. They have crucial information to end it all, a plan that could work." He paused to take a breath. "They found the clue that will lead us to Skywalker."

Rey rejoiced internally. It was good to know that Luke was alive somewhere in that reality. In the past the search had led them to Ahch-To but she could not be sure that the same thing would happen there. She did not know what event had separated him from his family.

Ben sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Rey seemed to feel his anxiety too and this brought him unexpected peace of mind.

"I guess we can wait." He had no great desire to see his mother and no great news to tell her. He wanted to stay there just long enough to continue his journey, now that he was so close to finding his father. Ben was used to not being one of the priorities on his mother's agenda. "What happened with the attacks? Did they discover the location of the base?"

Poe shook his head. "Our watchers detected them in time and we eliminated them in a matter of minutes. Apparently they weren't interested in us, they didn't get too close." With a thoughtful gesture, he added. "They looked like trackers, but they were looking for something or someone in particular. It's all very strange, they don't usually act that way."

"We were also attacked." Ben couldn't help but be concerned. The events were surely related but he lacked information. "The _Falcon_ was damaged, although not seriously. It could use some repairs."

"I can do it" Rey decided that she had spent too much time in silence and without intervening. The two men turned to look at her.

"There's no need." Ben stopped her with some abruptness and Rey almost protested but he softened the tone a bit. "You need to rest, so you can help me and I can help you."

"I'm fine!" Rey could not define whether she was offended by his rudeness or flattered by his concern.

"Of course you're not!" Ben took her gently by the elbow and took her aside a bit. "You have hardly slept, not counting the hours when you lost consciousness, you have eaten nothing but a miserable breakfast and I think you have a fever."

"I don't have a fever!" Rey was pleased with the attention he gave her but her health was not a priority at that time. Moving a little closer to his ear so Poe wouldn't hear it, he confessed; "I just want some privacy to get this off, I'm a hot mess and it seems pretty inadequate."

Ben was a little moved by Rey's intimate gesture and closeness. He could not understand why there was such a fuss about the blessed garment from which she had not departed for a moment _. Perhaps she had nothing on underneath._

Poe cleared his throat. He was having a great time with the scene and his friend's distressed expression. There was clearly something going on between those two. But just to annoy Ben he offered his own room to make Rey comfortable.

"No." Ben immediately regained control and cast a fiery glance at Poe.

Taking Rey by the arm, he led her down the base into a deserted corridor.

They stopped at a door. Ben entered first to make sure it was empty and in order. Rey followed, intrigued.

"You'll be all right here. It used to be my room, but I haven't been here in a long time.

The room was small but comfortable. The bunk was under a small window and there was also a shelf with many books. On the desk, there were some artifacts that Rey did not know about but Ben took care of showing him.

"A calligraphy set, for writing." He shrugged. "An old habit."

"It's amazing!" Rey approached the shelves and gently ran her fingers through the books. "I've never seen so many. Where did you get them?"

"Here and there. These are just a few, but they mean a lot to me. "Ben was distracted by the innocent gesture of Rey's fingers, he was quite aware of the girl's magnetism and every second that passed he found it difficult to be near her without wanting to touch her.

In her heart, Rey felt warmth and sorrow. Every object in that room spoke of Ben Solo, his personality, his tastes. Thanks to Leia he knew some things about his childhood, before he left for his training with Luke, but he ignored everything else. The feeling of being so close to him but not being able to reach him still gave her a shudder and she wrapped her arms around herself.

Ben interpreted the gesture differently and assumed that Rey wouldn't get comfortable until he left, so he left to give her privacy.

Rey sat on the bed as soon as the door closed and took a deep breath. When she was alone, her defenses abandoned her and she began to relax. Before lying down, she slowly took off her shirt and gently put it on a chair nearby.

Seconds later, she was sleeping as she had not slept in months.

* * *

For the first time in a long time, Ben considered opening up to the Force again. He had already done so the day before, when Rey asked him to enter her mind to corroborate her story.

He didn't understand why the memories of another, the person she was looking for, Kylo Ren, appeared in his head. A distant and unknown pain was advancing inside him, escaping his understanding, as if it were a blank space that he could not access, as if it had been erased from his memories and his mind.

_What relationship would it have with him? Why would Rey be interested in a monster like that?_

He could remember every moment of his life in detail, he did not deprive himself of the painful parts that were many. It hadn't been easy, but as far as she knew, he was always _Ben Solo_. Senator Leia Organa and General Han Solo's son, nephew to Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. His family's legacy weighed heavily on him, reminding him every day of the expectations everyone had.

On the one hand, his mother would see in him the person destined to follow in her footsteps and those of his grandmother Padme Amidala before her, forming a charismatic and influential leader who could guide everyone under the ideals of the New Republic and Democracy. The relationship with Leia was a little closer but the problems of the Galaxy were high on her agenda.

Regarding his father, he didn't know what to think. Han Solo had his own problems and Ben wasn't sure he expected anything from him. As a kid he admired him, he wanted to be a pilot. And somehow, he made it. It once crossed his mind that his father was afraid of him. As he grew older and demonstrated some unusual skills with the Force, the distance between them had grown bigger.

That's when, by accident, he learned that he was Darth Vader's grandson. It was the best kept secret in his family and he later discovered that Leia would have told him when he was older because she feared the effect the truth would have on him.

_That little detail changed everything._

Leia and Han had sent him to train with Luke when he was ten years old so that he could learn to handle his power and become a Jedi like his uncle. Ben accepted because he could access a vast amount of information and ancient texts, but deep down he knew they wanted to get rid of him. By sending him down that path, they ignored his true wishes. And for a brief period of time he accompanied Luke on his travels and discovered the main guidelines of the Force.

In his head he always felt dark voices, but while he was with Luke he heard them more and more often. They told him about his kinship with Vader and how powerful he could be on the Dark side of the Force. Snoke. _Another who expected something from him._

His uncle Luke had placed hope in him as well, but he sensed the darkness that had crept into his heart since the early days. Frightened, he sensed something was wrong with Ben and interceded with his parents to interrupt the training. He promised that he would find a way to help him and taught him to close himself off from the Force, strengthening his mind, so that others would not benefit from his power for evil. In this way, he avoided the worst but left him again to his fate.

After that, Ben spent several years with his “uncle” Lando Calrissian where he learnt to fly and demonstrated qualities to be a great pilot. During those years he was _a little_ happy. He later joined the Resistance under his mother's command but had never taken it too seriously. He often disobeyed orders and spent long periods of time away. Nevertheless, his contribution was invaluable.

Until some time later, Han disappeared along with the _Millennium Falcon_. It was suspected that the fledgling First Order had captured him, but Ben was certain that the truth was far more painful and had abandoned him and his mother.

From his last communications he learned that he was in the Western Reaches of the Inner Rim of the galaxy, precisely in Jakku, where he rescued a child who was sensitive to the Force and would later take her to train with Luke.

Later that girl that Ben did not get to know, would become Snoke's apprentice and member of the First Order. Everything followed its inexorable course: what Luke had been able to avoid with Ben, he couldn't avoid with _Kira Ren_. Ben struggled to remember anything else, the girl's name or her appearance, but to no avail.

As a result, the Force was the cause of the separation of his family and his own personal ghost. Every day he dealt with its presence and tried not to turn to it for fear of his dark, irredeemable side.

Until that morning.

Rey appeared with the _Falcon_ , surrounded by mystery, at a moment that could not be more opportune, just when Ben was about to lose hope. The intriguing girl had something that attracted him like a magnet, was powerful and brave, and he felt at ease with her.

_As if she knew what was going on in his mind, as if she really knew him._

The person she was looking for was too valuable to drag him into that uncertain and dangerous adventure.

His head hurt quite a bit and he realized that several hours had passed since he left Rey in his room. Her thoughts made her lose track of time.

_He needed to see her again, to know that she was all right._

He found her still sound asleep and couldn't help but smile. Rey's face, softened by the rest, seemed the most beautiful thing to Ben. He watched as the girl's long eyelashes barely moved and her snub nose frowned at times to the rhythm of her slow, deep breathing. Her lips curled into a small grimace that he found adorable and made him wonder what it would be like to kiss them.

_But he had already done so, hadn't he?_

Rey moved a little and tilted her head, and began to snore loudly.

Ben couldn't hold back a laugh of surprise. She kept surprising him and he had only known her for one day. What else was in store for him?

Trying not to wake her, he sprinted out of the room, covering his mouth with his hand, and leaned against the closed door on the outside. There he gave vent to his laughter, bringing tears to his eyes.

_There was no doubt about it, he was completely mad._

He had never felt so out of control. Or so happy.

* * *

A door opened near him and the sound of several voices speaking at the same time invaded the room. One of the people stopped for a moment when he saw Ben and left the group, apologizing.

Leia Organa stopped a few steps away from her son and the two looked at each other for a long time in uncomfortable silence. Then she began to smile and moved forward to embrace him tenderly. Ben was a little puzzled by the great reception and for a moment he didn't know what to do. But he couldn't help smiling as well and reciprocate his mother's hug.

* * *

Rey woke up moments after Ben left the room, with a warm feeling in her heart. _He was here._

She washed her face with water, trying to compose her appearance in the mirror. She looked at herself satisfied, sleeping had worked wonders. The rest of her attire left much to be desired, but at least she felt more like herself.

When she opened the door, she witnessed the meeting of mother and son and was paralyzed by the sight.

Seeing her Master again brought her calm and hope, as always. She remembered with sadness how she would have liked to see that much sooner, if circumstances had been different. The Force was making her wishes come true, was giving her a second chance to live through what she thought it should have happened.

And she wasn't going to miss the chance.

Leia noticed Rey, peeking through the ajar door, and asked Ben to introduce her. He parted from her embrace and offered the girl a smile.

"She's Rey. She brought back the _Falcon_. She's helping me find _him_ too."

Leia gently took Rey's hands and squeezed them affectionately before releasing them.

"It is good that you are here, Rey. Welcome."

"Thank you. It's an honor to meet you." For a moment it crossed her mind that her presence there might be suspicious. But if it was, Leia didn't show it. She seemed to have confidence in Ben. It didn't escape her that he wasn't telling her everything. _Was he trying to protect her?_

Someone discreetly called the General, who left them alone.

Something had changed in Ben, Rey could tell. Maybe everything was finally starting to make sense. Ben looked more relaxed despite not having slept, and she sensed a certain openness from him to the Force.

Absorbed in her thoughts, she did not notice that Ben's joy had turned into a broad smile and was now looking at her directly as she laughed out loud.

_How beautiful it was to see him smile._


	5. She is my sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Take heed, dear heart  
> Once apart, she can touch nor me nor you  
> Dressed as one  
> A wolf will betray a lamb"
> 
> She is my sin - Nightwish - Wishmaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little longer but I decided to divide it, so as not to tire the reader so much.  
> In the next one there are some surprises!
> 
> As always, your comments are welcome and help me a lot! I have an idea of how this story will go, but something always comes up to change the course and make me a little crazy. Beyond that, I'm enjoying it very much.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! These days are hard for everyone, staying calm and keeping positive thoughts is the main thing, and writing helps too!

* * *

The next day, Rey took care of the repairs to the _Millennium Falcon_. She had finally managed to convince Ben that she could do it and he only put the condition that she would allow a little help. That's how Rey greeted Rose Tico with great joy, the person recommended for the task because of her great efficiency and discretion.

Ben also suspected that Rey would do well to talk to someone other than himself for a change.

Rey thought the idea was great. She missed Rose and would be happy to spend time with her, even if her friend didn’t recognize or remember her.

After introducing themselves, both worked quietly for a while, concentrating on their tasks. Rose checked the main console of the cabin while Rey controlled the side panels with her back to the entrance.

But Rose, like everyone at the base, was intrigued by the sudden appearance of Rey and was dying to talk to her. Naturally, she broke the uncomfortable silence with her spontaneity.

"I think it's great that you're here, I mean, you're a Jedi, right?"

Rey stopped what she was doing and turned to look at Rose with a raised eyebrow.

_How fast the news travels here._

"I'm not really, not in the conventional sense." _And the truth is, I don't know if I want to be either_ , she added to herself. The prospect of founding a new Jedi order seemed as distant as it was unlikely. She wasn’t sure of anything, she just wanted to get to the end of this new adventure without major incidents and - if possible - bring Ben back on the way.

"You mean you don't have your lightsaber?"

"Not exactly..." Rey didn't know how much to tell Rose, considering Ben's precautions to protect her. "I'm an apprentice." She shrugged.

"Oh." Rose opened her eyes wide. "So you're training together, you and Ben Solo? I thought so."

"No, Rose." Rey began to laugh _. In fact_ , t _hat's not a bad idea_. Although that thought made her a little sad about what it implied. "I don't think Ben is interested in becoming a Jedi."

"But his uncle is Luke Skywalker! I'm sure he'll have plenty of opportunities." Rose sighed.

Rey didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know Ben's reasons for leaving the Jedi path, but she was sure he had other wishes. He had mentioned that he wanted to be a pilot and in this reality, he was. But she knew little of his past.

"Being a Jedi is not as attractive as it seems." Not knowing why, Rey pondered aloud. But he turned the subject aside at once. "Maybe Ben had other plans."

"I understand." Rose returned to her duties a little embarrassed, fearing she had talked too much.

But it didn't last long.

"You know, there are rumors here, maybe I shouldn't say it, but I like you, Rey."

Rey, intrigued, encouraged Rose to keep talking with a nod.

"When you arrived here together yesterday, many of us felt something... special. Something good." She was quick to add. "Hope. To be able to win this war, to end it all."

"Rose, I don't..." The words choked in her throat and couldn't get out.

Rey wanted to tell her she had nothing to do with that fight, not anymore. She would soon return to her world and that she didn't want to change things any more than she already had. 

"Rey." Rose came over and took her hands. "I think you're here for a reason and whatever that is, I'm happy to have met you."

Rey could not help but be moved and feel warmth in his heart. She missed her friends so much; it hurt her to have left them out of a selfish desire not to feel alone. But she couldn't go back. The least she could do now was to help Rose and her people.

She would, even if she had to fight that battle again. It was worth it to save those she loved. And that included Ben.

"Thank you, Rose." Rey gave her a wide smile. "I'll do my best!"

"I know!" Rose's face lit up. "The moment is perfect! Kira Ren has disappeared and the First Order is weakened. We believe they have serious internal problems." State secrets were not a mystery to the young mechanic.

" _Kira Ren_?" Rey didn't know who Rose was talking about.

"You didn't know"? We have received the information from good sources, but no one knows for sure." Seeing that Rey still did not understand, Rose continued. "The apprenticed of Snoke, leader of the Knights of Ren."

Rey was overwhelmed. _Is there a version of Ren in this reality too?_ Obviously it wasn't Ben, but she couldn't be sure.

"What's he like?"

" _Him_?" Rose laughed a little, "It's more like _her_. No one knows what she looks like, only that her power is superb, invincible."

"Oh!"

Rey had a lot on his mind.

_What if in that world Ben had a pair in the dark, his own dyad? What if his other half was this Kira Ren?_

_“Darkness rises, and Light to meet it”._ Snoke's words in the _Supremacy_ throne room came back to her in that instant.

"You don't have to worry, Rey." Rose encouraged him. "You, together... I feel you could overcome any obstacle."

"What do you mean?"

It was Rose's turn to shrug it off.

"I don't know. You and Ben, something's going on between you, even if you don't want to admit it."

Rey blushed a bit at what her friend was implying.

"I don't think so, it's quite complicated." Rey turned to concentrate on the board. Her heart was pounding and she found it difficult to manage her emotions. "I admit I like Ben, well, he's attractive and gentle..." She stopped abruptly at the change of expression of Rose: she had gone from joy to panic as she looked over Rey’s shoulder.

By the time she realized it, it was too late. Ben was behind Rey and would probably have heard much of the conversation between the friends.

Rey, completely red, wanted to be able to vanish at that very moment.

Nodding to Rose and deliberately avoiding Rey, Ben made his entrance as if he had heard nothing.

 _But he had_. And a wicked part of him was enjoying the mess that Rey had gotten herself into.

_Attractive and gentle?_

"Do you think she'll be ready for tomorrow?" He meant the _Falcon_ , of course.

"Yeah, we're almost done here! All that's left is to check the place where she was shot." Rose was quick to answer. "I'm going to check it out right away!" She gave Rey a sorry look that seemed to apologize. Then she said goodbye to them and practically ran away.

"Perfect!" Ben turned to Rey, who was still mute and focused on the console. "We need to talk."

Rey took a deep breath and regained some courage as she turned to face Ben.

Suddenly she felt vulnerable, exposed. He seemed to occupy the entire cockpit with his presence. Not that she hasn't noticed that before, but things were changing rapidly between them. She was tied to him, in a way that was not at all unpleasant, and that made her afraid.

But she wasn't afraid of him, _she was afraid of herself_.

Ben extended his left arm toward the panel, almost imprisoning Rey in the corner of the room. They were so close that she could feel his scent and see the witty glow in his eyes.

But he only took one of the wires on the side of Rey's head and examined it carefully. "This is what makes the hyperdrive fail." And then he walked away slowly, without paying attention.

Rey realized that Ben was enjoying himself at her expense and offered him an indignant, blushing look. He seemed willing to ignore her.

_Fine, she would do the same._

"What did you want to talk about?" Rey asked in the coldest tone she could, considering that she was still flushed and had difficulty breathing.

"Apparently a rumor has spread through the base that the strange girl who arrived here turned out to be an _attractive_ Jedi and my mother wants to send us together on the trail to find Luke."

She didn't miss a beat, but she wasn't going to indulge. Ben was provoking her, and he was enjoying it immensely.

"What about the search for Han?"

"I can postpone it." Ben looked into her eyes, but the fun had gone out of her eyes, staining them with sadness. "I thought you'd like the news. Spending more time with someone so _gentle_..." He immediately regained his jovial tone.

They both broke into laughter. Rey's accumulated nervousness was shattered and she understood that her strategy was no use. They were even, then. They looked at each other intensely for a few seconds, without needing to clarify anything. They were simply happy to be together and for the moment that was enough.

"And there's something else I'd like to say to you" Ben took a serious tone. "I've decided to open myself up to the Force again. I think everything will be fine with your help." He paused and added quietly. "I trust you, Rey."

That's all she wanted to hear. She wasn't entirely happy, though. Something was bothering her, an alarm in her head, a warning.

"Ben." Rey looked at him with concern. "If you go down that road, there may be things you dislike, things you don't want to accept." He took a breath and went on. "Painful things."

"I don't care." Ben was determined. "I'm tired of being afraid, I'm tired of being afraid of myself." Rey understood. _She felt it too_.

"I don't want to have to run faster than the Dark to keep out. I want to learn to master it... And I think the fact that you are here is a sign." 

Rey was moved.

Happy to deserve Ben's trust, she also felt strange and confused.

At that point she was no longer sure that her previous life had really happened. _Maybe it was someone else's memories and this is my reality now_. Her mind was a bundle of shorted wires.

This fantasy she was living _felt like a dream, a beautiful, eternal dream_ , which could not last forever.

It was uncomfortable _feeling out of place_. Something was ringing in her ears, reminding her that this new life was not permanent and could be taken away at any time if the Force decided.

She knew only too well the darkness that Ben spoke of. _She knew what he was facing_.

It was his past, Kylo Ren. It was the reason that memories invaded Ben's mind when she was around.

 _And who was she to force him to remember his past sins?_ If Ben had a chance to be happy there, ignoring the past, _why did she have to come and change everything? Was it fair to him?_

Because that's what Rey was sure of. The man standing in front of her _was the Ben she knew._ She knew it from the moment she first saw him, even though she saw him clearly now. She couldn't explain how, but she did.

Ben was offering her his hand again. _Why not take it? Hadn't she wanted that the first time?_

Rey had his own demons too. She never quite accepted that the Darkness was in her soul too, as it was in everyone's. She was trying to balance, to keep going with her life as if half her soul had not been torn out. She fooled herself in silence, believing that their function was to be present for all but herself.

_Could she stand there knowing that she was omitting the truth? Could she be happy like that? What would happen if Ben discovered everything? He would probably hate her._

Ben patiently watched the emotions that ran through Rey’s eyes.

_Maybe I said too much. Maybe she doesn't want what I want. Maybe she doesn't want to help me, or can't._

Shortening the distance between them, Ben took Rey's hands.

Again he was shaken by a vision. This time sharper than the previous ones.

_A wide red and black room. Fire and chaos. The remnants of a death match. Rey was standing in front of him, a few feet away._

_"It's time to let the old things die. Rey, I want you to join me. Snoke, Skywalker, the Sith, the Jedi, the Rebels. Let it all die. We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy._

_"Don't do this, Ben. Please don't go that way."_

_"You're still holding on. Let it go!"_

Ben let go of Rey's hand and walked away. Again those memories he couldn't understand. _What were they trying to tell him? Could she see them too?_ A dizzying feeling came over him. He was close to finding out, a terrible but necessary truth.

_The darkness that haunted him now had already reached him in the past._

"I think you need to be alone." Suddenly Ben felt suffocated; he had to get out of there.

"Ben." Rey called him before he left the cabin. "I did want to hold your hand." her eyes filled with tears. "But it wasn't the right time."

"Is it now?" But he didn't expect an answer.

Ben smiled sadly and walked away.

* * *

It was night when they landed at Takodana. The contact indicated by the Resistance, who owned the runway to find Luke, had established Maz Kanata’s Castle as their meeting point. The neutral zone offered everyone a degree of security, since there is only one rule in Maz's domain: "Everyone is welcome (fights are forbidden).

But outside the castle, it was a different story.

Rey and Ben came down and parked the _Falcon_ in an inconspicuous but nearby area, in case the situation became difficult and they had to flee. The journey from the base went quietly, each of two thinking about his own business and having lost a little of their previous closeness.

Rey lamented deeply, but there was little she could do. She was still in conflict with herself because she didn’t wish to harm Ben. However, she had not refused to carry out the mission because of her promise to Rose. Nothing good would come from avoiding Ben, but she had to wait a little longer for things to become clearer between them.

He, for his part, couldn’t fully understand the situation, but he had no reason to be angry. Rey's attitude was logical, _she was afraid_. He could feel that, _but afraid of who?_ He decided it was best to go ahead with the mission until she was ready to talk again. Ben really wanted to make things right, _he really cared about Rey._

"Before I forget..." Ben caught up with Rey on their way to the castle and returned her lightsaber. "Here, Rey. I have a feeling you might need it."

_At least it could be considered a peace offering._

"Thank you, Ben." Even in the dark, he could see her smile.

Ben fastened an SE-14r blaster pack on his belt. Lando's gift.

"Won't you join me in a saber duel?" Rey pointed to the other one, which Ben still wore, on the other side.

"This is a relic. But it serves to confuse, sometimes." Ben shrugged. "I like having options."

The tension had dissipated a little. Inside, both sighed with relief.

Rey stopped for a moment to look at the night landscape. The reflection of the moon on the lake created mysterious, hypnotic shapes. The sky, like a great dark dome, was indistinguishable from the earth. The deep and mysterious forest was behind them.

The last time she was in Takodana, was her first meeting with Ben. _With Kylo, actually_. That’s when her journey truly began. She couldn’t have imagined at that time that the terrifying masked character would be so important in her life.

But all that seemed so far away now. Here she was now, in the same place, on a totally opposite stage. _Almost as terrified as she was then._

The room was filled with all kinds of characters: humans, droids, and other alien races ate and drank carelessly. If the First Order were looking for them, Ben and Rey would have to move fast. The attack by the TIEs was no accident, Ben suspected that the appearance of Rey had something to do with it.

But there was no trace of their contact anywhere.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Ben urged Rey to hide the Jedi weapon and covered his own as well. But when he turned around, she was gone.

Eagerly, he looked around the room, but to no avail. _Where did she go?_

_You, take me to him. Where are you?_

The sound in her head confused her senses. It was a woman's voice, distorted, unrecognizable. Rey advanced blindly, as if possessed by her.

_Come to me. I am the answer to your questions._

Her footsteps led her out of the castle, into the forest, without Ben noticing.

Rey could not control her body. She felt a dark impulse pulling her towards the voice.

Suddenly she came to, but she didn't recognize the place. The moonlight scarcely filtered through the lush trees and she couldn't remember how she had gotten there.

A double glow caught her attention. The sharp face reflected the blood-red tones, and the sound of the lightsaber filled with horror the silence of the forest. The rest of the silhouette was barely perceptible, but Rey recognized the figure because she had seen it before, in Kef Bir.

"You are here, scavenger."

Kira Ren made an appearance.


	6. Scaretale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The pendulum still sways for you  
> Such are the darks here to show you, child in a corner  
> Fallen mirrors, all kingdom in cinders"
> 
> Scaretale - Nightwish - Imaginaerum

* * *

The minutes passed and Ben was increasingly nervous because contact with the track did not appear and neither did Rey. The anxiety of being caught by the enemy grew every second and for a moment he regretted accepting the mission.

With a grunt of frustration he left Maz Kanata’s Castle, ready to find Rey. He feared that something bad had happened to her.

Concentrating, he tried to locate her signature through the Force but for a long time he felt _absolutely nothing_. An ancient fear nested within him, one that he could not help but understand, as it did every time something happened to Rey.

_But now they were connected._

A few long and distressing minutes later he managed to capture Rey's presence and was able to visualize the place where she was. She was very close by, in the woods, but she was not alone.

Ben felt another presence in her mind, _something or someone trying to hurt her._

* * *

Rey quickly recovered from the shock by turning on her lightsaber. She mentally thanked Ben for returning it to her earlier. The yellow-white glow caused a mocking smile on Kira Ren, who assumed her own defensive stance by unfurling her double red staff.

"Really, a yellow leaf? Feeling nostalgic for the past, perhaps?"

Rey ignored the comment and focused on her rival. She knew their moves because they had already faced each other in the Death Star vault at Kef Bir.

_Kira Ren was the exact opposite of Rey._

The sinister woman wore no mask and despite the darkness of the forest she could see the evil in the yellowish glow of her eyes. The pale face contrasted with her black robe that seemed to blend in with her surroundings, giving her a spectral appearance.

Unlike last time, Rey realized that she was in the presence of a person of flesh and blood. Kira Ren was not only a sample of what Rey could become if she succumbed to the Dark Side, because in this world she was _real_.

"You have chosen a path, but you haven't tasted all the advantages the Darkness has to offer." Kira Ren spoke arrogantly and watched the Rey from head to toe, raising an eyebrow in disdain.

"There is nothing there to tempt me." Rey raised her chin and kept her eyes open. Her opponent was trying to confuse her, so she had managed to drag her into the forest glade in the first place. But she would not be intimidated.

They both began to spin around in search of each other's weak point, but for a few tense seconds neither began the attack. Kira seemed more interested in attacking her with hurtful words than swords.

"How do you know? Are you sure you don't want it?" Kira stopped abruptly and her eyes were tinged with the bloody glow of the blade. "There is darkness in your heart, Rey. Accept it now and _you can have him back_."

Rey didn't want to show interest. She knew that Kira could take advantage of her confusion to get what he wanted from her. But something in her words intrigued her. _What would she know?_

"What are you talking about? What do you want?"

"Same as you. _Going home."_

All the weight of the previous days fell heavily on her shoulders, reminding her that she had felt the same anger before when she discovered the tragic fate of her parents.

She understood that the injustice of losing Ben so soon had inspired a similar emotion in her and she had carried it with her since Exegol.

With anguish she thought about her current situation and the alarms in her mind went off. _Why was she there? What was the Force trying to show her?_

She wished with all her strength to return to the world she knew, she did not feel up to the task, and the little security she had managed to muster escaped with every word from Kira. 

"You have many questions, Jedi." Kira kept tormenting her. "I can answer some of them, but let me warn you, you're not going to like them."

The fury was taking over the Rey without her avoiding it. She thought with pain that this was a battle with herself that she had tried to win in the past and always came back. She could never get rid of those dark feelings.

But she could learn to master them.

_Just like Ben said._

"What do you want from me?"

"That you accept that this is your place and you can stay here _forever_ if you wish, _next to him_."

_Forever_. Like in a dream. It was not real but a deception, a lie. Rey could not accept that.

_Although she could be happy, at last. She would never be alone again and have Ben. Didn't she deserve it?_

But at what cost?

Kira was trying to manipulate her somehow, pulling the deepest strings of her mind and heart, taking advantage of her greatest weakness.

"What do you gain from that?"

Kira threw up a wicked laugh.

"I will always be with you and _I will be free_."

In the ruins of the Death Star, the impact of seeing her own dark, mirrored version caught the Rey off guard. Of course, _that was just it, a reflection, an illusion_. The product of her vision on the throne of Palpatine, _the Dark Empress._

But she was not sure now how ethereal the woman in front of her was.

"Do you doubt me? You wonder if I'm real." Kira Ren made a quick and precise movement of her hands with the weapon. "As much as you are, Rey, now you will know!" and then she lunged at her, showing his sharp teeth.

Rey resisted the assault and the sabers threw orange sparks into the forest glade. The moonlight filtered through the trees but fell heavily upon them, melting into the light of the weapons, while the rest remained in darkness, as if the boundaries had been erased. The force of the impact made Rey tremble. _She seems to be quite real._

Rey didn't want to hurt Kira, she had no reason to. But she had no choice but to defend herself. She seemed to anticipate his movements and had the advantage, but Rey realized that this was not a fight to the death. _Kira was just trying to prove something to her._

"I can show you how to get back home."

The proposal tempted Rey a little, _but what was the sacrifice Kira was asking for in return?_

After another clash of their blades, they parted abruptly and Rey almost lost her balance, but she regained it with the Force.

The battle was going on in her mind as well, and Kira was infecting his thoughts beyond measure.

_"Embrace your darkness, Rey, and you can have him back."_

_"Never be afraid of who you are."_

The memory of her Master's words, but now in Kira's mouth, made Rey react violently. Full of rage, she lashed out at the evil woman and attacked her savagely, with a fierce scream erupting from within her.

That was just what Kira Ren was waiting for.

_"Yes. Show me your fury."_

* * *

Only one thought occupied Ben's mind as he ran through the woods.

_"Please tell me it's not too late. Don't leave me, Rey."_

Perhaps because of the enraged beating of his heart or the energy of the Force that he felt again flowing through him, the images mixed in his head, confusing him and almost blinding him at times.

_Rey was on the floor, she seemed to be asleep but her eyes were open and lifeless. Her body was full of injuries, inert, cold. He was pulling her into his lap with difficulty, because he was badly hurt too. But the sensation of seeing Rey in that state was worse, like a vise around his gut, a painful emptiness, a sense of loss._

Ben suddenly stopped walking, he was short of breath. Was it a memory or a feeling?

_There's no time to lose._

Even in the darkness, Ben could detect the familiarity of the hooded woman's face as she wrestled with Rey. The resemblance between them was striking, but he decided to leave those thoughts for later. He would have time to ask her questions later.

Ben had never seen Rey in battle before. Her technique was amazing, her movements precise and lethal, she fought fiercely. He couldn't help but feel sincere admiration.

But something strange was happening, Ben could tell that Rey was full of anger, troubled by rage, unbalanced. Her presence was confused with that of her adversary.

_Maybe she didn't need my help, though..._

Rey stopped for a moment when she felt Ben close and turned to make sure he was there. She didn't want him to see her in that state, _not yet_. She didn't want to hurt him or Kira Ren to hurt him.

But she would pay dearly for her distraction. . Kira took advantage of the moment to push Rey and swung her lightsaber agilely, wounding her deep in one leg.

_"You wanted to prove to my mother that you were a Jedi, but you proved something else. You can't go back to her now. As I cannot..."_

The memory of Ben's words at Kef Bir took on new meaning for her.

Rey let out a cry in the face of the piercing pain and everything went dark around her.

* * *

Ben watched in despair as Rey lost consciousness and Kira prepared to strike the final blow.

_Over my dead body!_

Interrupted by a blistering shot, Kira howled in pain as she turned to meet Ben's gaze. The shock had hit her on the side and she soon began to bleed.

Full of rage, she raised a hand to him and tried to stop him with the Force, but she did not expect Ben to resist, much less strike back with the same means. Surprised, she was thrown several yards away and saw him take Rey in his arms and carry her quickly out of his reach.

Kira sent a poisoned thought into the mind of Rey, who heard it clearly as she regained her consciousness.

_You cannot hide from me, scavenger._

The world was shaking around her when she finally woke up and the pain in her leg came back in all its intensity. Rey noticed that she was being carried by strong arms, which could not be other than Ben's. She opened her eyes to find his worried face, his jaw tightened and his eyes fixed on the path, his breath shaking because he was running at great speed.

Ben felt the Rey's body light and frail in his hands, though he knew how strong she could be. He tried not to make contact with the injured area so as not to increase her pain, but in these circumstances there was not much to be done.

The faint sound of a whimper indicated to him that she was awake and he wished with all his strength that he could heal her, but the priority was to get to a safe place, to get the two of them safely inside the _Falcon_.

Rey caught Ben's thought, surprised at the fluidity of their connection that was as intense between them as ever before. Thanks to that, he had arrived just in time to save her from Kira Ren. She realized that he had many questions to ask her about her attacker and to tell the truth, Rey was not sure he could answer everything. She promised to be honest with him as much as possible, she owed him that at least.

When they reached the edge of the forest, Ben stopped to check the surroundings and gently deposited Rey on the ground trying not to hurt her. A bunch of Stormtroopers watched the area and a couple of them stood guard in front of the _Falcon_. They had to think of something to distract them.

"Ben..."

When she called him, he turned to check that she was okay and gave her a smile of relief.

"I think I can walk on my own, I just have to fix this." Rey pointed to her wound and reached out a hand to transmit some Force energy.

But she was tired and wouldn't let go of the pain.

"I will help you." Ben placed one of his hands on hers and their eyes met.

They were very close, almost forgetting that they were being chased and that perhaps it would not be so simple to escape.

"By the way, Rey. I like your fighting style." His compliment was honest and she could not help but hold her breath for a few seconds.

The enthralling warmth she felt helped to ease the physical pain but made the longing run through her body, causing other sorrows.

"I had a good teacher." She could only say. Rey wished he could remember all the times they had fought together and how good it felt to do so.

The sound of a creaky branch alerted them to the presence of someone else in the shadows. Startled, Ben and Rey turned in the direction of the noise to meet a stormtrooper who seemed more scared and disconcerted than they were.

_He had seen them._

Rey sensed certain sensitivity to the Force in the subject and somehow she knew that he would not harm them or give away their position. Ben wasn't so sure of that, so he pointed the blaster at the soldier as a warning.

"FN-2187, area report." A voice from the soldier's communicator sounded in the silence of the forest and increased the tension between them. Ben placed a finger on the trigger.

_Finn?_

Through the mask, FN-2187 seemed to hesitate for a moment as if debating between two options and not knowing what to do.

When he pressed the button on the communication device, Ben kept pointing it at him, but Rey forced him to put the gun down with one hand and his eyes fixed on FN-2187.

"All clear"

Ben let out a dull sigh of relief and the Rey presented the soldier with a smile of gratitude.

FN-2187 responded by nodding his head as he let them escape.

 _It's the right thing to do,_ he thought to himself, without regretting the small act of rebellion that would have great consequences for him.

* * *

With the wound almost closed, Rey was still walking with great effort, so she didn’t object when Ben put one arm behind her back and held it to help her. This time she was more aware of his closeness than before and felt all of his concern for her well-being.

The soldiers had their backs to them and were quite distracted.

 _Child’s play_ , Ben thought, and prepared to attack with his other hand on the gun.

But Rey had other plans that did not include violence.

She took a few steps forward until she was in front of them and before they could react, she waved one of her hands.

"You received orders to return to the barracks. The fugitives have been apprehended." Rey did what Ben would call _Jedi trickery._

_And it worked._

"The fugitives were apprehended, we will return to the barracks." The two repeated simultaneously as they trotted away without suspecting that they had been brainwashed.

"Do you do that a lot?" Rey shrugged and smiled only at Ben's curious gesture. "Remind me to ask you to show me the trick later." It was Ben's turn to smile shamelessly. 

At the ship's entrance ramp, a gunshot interrupted the escape.

Neither Ben nor Rey were prepared for what happened next.

"Out of the way! Get out!"

The man approached them, running at great speed in spite of his age and carrying a blaster in his right hand. He shot almost without looking back, hitting it with pure luck or pure talent. He was followed by a huge wookie who stopped from time to time to finish off his attackers and protect his partner's back.

 _Han Solo and Chewbacca_ ran toward the _Millennium Falcon_ , chased by a hail of gunfire, but they still did not recognize the pair standing in the way.

"Dad!"

When Han recognized his son, he slammed on the brakes, tripping the wookie behind him.

"Ben? _What the...?"_

Another shot close to their heads brought them out of their stunned state.

"Quick! Get in!"

Almost by accident, Ben and Rey accomplished at least one of their missions.


	7. The Wayfarer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wayfarer, heart lander  
> What if I only had  
> One more night to live  
> Home is where the way is  
> My road goes on forever  
> One more voyage to go"
> 
> The wayfarer - Nightwish - Century Child

* * *

The closed door of the _Millennium Falcon_ barely cushioned the impact of enemy fire. The explosions shook the ship and its crew as they rushed to run away.

Han Solo nodded to Chewbacca, no need to speak aloud, and the wookie ran down the side corridor into the cockpit. Once there, he took the copilot's seat and turned on the ship's controls, activating the reflective shield to minimize damage from the projectiles.

His companion, however, did not immediately follow him.

Han stopped halfway to look again at the strange couple that had joined them.

Something was troubling him and he did not understand what was causing his discomfort. The adrenaline from the escape activated his rusty parental instinct.

To see Ben in that place and in that situation was the last thing he expected to experience that day. The shock of finding him after so many years was something he could not ignore. His son had changed so much and was _so much_ like him.

But it was something about the girl that worried Han. She was familiar to him, not in a happy way but reminding him of someone he would rather not have met.

_The girl in the desert he had failed._

Ben's attitude towards her was serene, he protected her. Seeing them together aroused his anxiety. _Something wasn't right._

"What's going on? We have to get out of here right now!"

Ben didn't understand why his father was hesitating. No way it crossed his mind that he was waiting for him to lead the _Falcon_. He suspected it was something else, because of the cautious way Han looked at Rey.

"Ben _, who is_ _she_?" Han pointed to Rey with mistrust.

"I think we can save the introductions for later!"

Ben was in a bad mood. He could feel Rey's discomfort at his side as the wound was not fully healed. His father was impatient for an answer.

"She is Rey. She's with me, she's on our side."

_That's enough for now._

Hearing that name, Han's eyes opened wide and his gaze turned to horror. His hand instinctively went to his weapon, which he had kept at his belt.

"She's dangerous! What were you thinking when you put her on _my_ ship?"

Rey noticed the tension between father and son and wanted to intervene but it was difficult because she did not understand anything about what was happening.

 _Did Han remember her? Why did he treat her with such hostility?_ She felt Ben's embrace more close and now one of his hands was clutching her waist in a protective gesture.

A shot shook the ship fiercely as the ship began to rise and Chewie let out a desperate cry for Han's assistance.

Ben's mind was enlightened. His father was mistaking Rey for _someone else._ He hurried to clear up the misunderstanding before everyone had anything to be sorry about.

"No, she's not who you think she is." Ben's tone became serious and he was having trouble keeping calm so as not to shake his father by the shoulder. "She's not the girl you found in Jakku. _She's not Kira Ren_."

Han and Rey looked at him in surprise. The former was suspicious and the latter was shocked.

"Kira did this." Ben continued, pointing to the wound in Rey's leg with his head. "And if you need more proof than I'm telling you, you must trust me. _I just saw_ _her_ _with my own eyes_."

Han's gesture softened a bit with relief. He nodded, grimacing characteristically with his mouth, though he only half accepted the excuse. When their lives were not in danger, he would demand further explanation. Then he turned around to head for the cabin, not before addressing a few final words to Ben.

"You and I have a lot to talk about, _kid_."

Deep down, Han knew that he owed his son a debt too and would be the first to have to confess.

"I'm not the only one" Ben let out a snort that only Rey could hear.

Now that they were alone, Rey was more aware of Ben's closeness. He hadn't let go of her since they entered the ship, bringing her even closer during the brief argument with his father. She found the feeling very pleasant and punished herself mentally for thinking such a thing at a time like that. _She wished with all her strength that he would never let her go._

Ben felt that Rey was moving a bit beside him and eased the tension thinking that he was hurting her, blaming himself for being so careless. He moved away from her a little, and seeing one of the bunks nearby, he lifted her up without difficulty to bring her there and make her comfortable.

Thanks to Han's maneuvers they were out of range, and no ship was chasing them. With any luck they would soon be considered entirely safe.

_But inside the ship the difficulties were just beginning._

Rey missed Ben's touch when he put her down and other worries invaded her mind.

" Han is right, Ben. It's dangerous for all of you to have me here if Kira Ren is still chasing me."

"It's not true, we don't know if that's the reason they're attacking us." Ben told himself that he would have to fill Rey in on a couple of things about his father. "Besides, after the forest episode, I think I'm on his hit list, too." I was trying to joke around a bit to reassure her and Rey was grateful for her intention.

"But..." she started to say. Things were getting more and more complicated and she wasn't sure what to do. Kira had awakened some of her more murky thoughts and again felt guilty for involving Ben in such a serious situation.

Ben interrupted what she was about to say with a spontaneous, sweet hug.

For a second he was also surprised at what he was doing but remembered that he was under the influence of a _traumatic evening_ and the smell of Rey was definitely making him feel better. Sinking his face into her shoulder he felt safe, _like he was at home_.

Rey's breath was cut off and her body reacted instinctively, returning the hug. Her pulse beat faster and she felt Ben's heart beating wildly, very close to her own.

She almost fainted when she heard the words he spoke, soft and warm, in her ear.

"I almost lost you before. It will not happen again. _We'll do this together_ , you said so, remember?"

Rey's eyes filled with tears and the pain in her leg seemed a long way off now.

She wanted to keep that feeling of having Ben so close because the future was not so clear. She wanted to forget her previous life and pretend that she could start over with him under those circumstances. She wanted to let go of the fact that she still didn't know the real reason she was there, She wanted to interrupt his painful search and stop the course of time.

_But it was impossible, I knew that very well._

Things not said between them would come to light at some point, sooner or later.

And if Ben remembered everything, _who would assure Rey that he would not reject her later?_ Maybe he would blame her for her selfishness.

She didn't want to hold on to him and yet she needed him so badly.

Contact was interrupted by another jolt from the ship as it entered hyperspace and Ben reluctantly stepped away from Rey, not completely. Taking her face with both hands, he wiped his tears with his thumbs, purposely delaying every touch.

_She was so special for him_ , so strong and vulnerable at the same time, so lonely and so reluctant to claim affection even if she needed it. In just a few days he felt he knew her much more than he had imagined, much more than he knew himself, despite the secrets that still kept them apart.

He wished he could express all those emotions to Rey without scaring her, he wished he could tell her that her eyes with green sparkles were the only place he wanted to live and that he didn't care about anything else. _Not her father, not her mother, not Luke, just her._

And all these certainties terrified him enough but he couldn't deny them. Logically, it was impossible to address them, and he had never considered himself a fully emotional person. All his life he had tried to be practical and to keep his passion out of it, but Rey was vehemently shaking all his convictions.

And although thanks to the Force he could be honest with her without having to talk, he could not do so. Something was holding him back, an invisible barrier that he could not destroy.

_Perhaps she did not feel the same. Would she still cling to the memory of that other one she was looking for?_

After all, didn't he tell Rey that the person she was looking for wasn't _him_? He wasn't so sure of that either. He wasn't sure of anything, to tell you the truth.

He wished with all his heart that she would stay. _That's what he was sure of._

A cough behind his back interrupted the scene. Han and Chewbacca entered the room.

His father, with his arms crossed, leaned against a wall in a gesture that Rey found to be decidedly typical of the Solos family.

Ben stood up to face his father but was calm. They both had many questions to ask themselves and neither one decided to start. 

Chewie broke the silence by approaching Rey to introduce himself and examine her wound, offering to help her. She sincerely appreciated his sympathy and the exchange between them helped to lessen the stiffness between father and son a little. Han became convinced that the girl meant well and stopped looking at her as if she was suddenly going to grow horns.

Rey knew that she would have to leave them alone or they would not talk, although she did not cease to marvel at the scene of the reunion. She remembered with sadness that the last time she had seen something similar did not end well for either of them.

"I'll try to fix this." Referring to her wound. "I'll be in the room." She hated feeling like an outsider.

"No." Ben stopped her. Whatever he has to say, I want you to hear it."

"It's okay, _it's not like I can go on another ship_ , Ben." Rey was trying to reassure him.

Han waved his hand.

"You can stay, kid. I may need a bodyguard after this conversation."

Chewie grunted in protest.

"It's a joke!" Han shrugged his shoulders and sat down, directing the Rey to take a seat beside him.

Ben resigned himself with a sigh and sat down with his elbows on his knees, trying to stay as far away from his father as possible.

He had been looking for him for so long, and now that he had him in front of him, he didn't know what to do.

"Fine. I'll start." Han cleared his throat. "What the hell did you do to get the whole First Order behind you?"

Rey, biting his lip, thought _the talk was off to a bad start._

"I could ask you the same question, Dad." Ben snuffed him out with his eyes

Han leaned back in his seat.

"Chewie and I were very calm when someone came to us with the story that the _Falcon_ was parked a few feet from Maz’s Castle. Naturally we had to check it out and went there. But we didn't expect that kind of _reception_."

"You mean after all these years all you care about is your _silly_ ship?" Ben stood up in a rage.

Rey worried. _This wasn't going the way I expected._

Han stood up, too, and pointed an accusing finger at Ben.

"Don't talk about _her_ like that!"

Rey was sitting between them and thought the situation might have been funny if she didn't know at least one of them. Ben was getting _really angry._

"Well! We should calm down a bit, don't you think?" Rey got in the middle of the murderous looks between father and son. She gently placed a hand on Ben's shoulder and said, "Maybe I can tell _my side_ of the story."

When the two sat down again, Rey considered it a small victory. But she still needed to deploy a whole strategy to win the war.

"Ben and I went to Takodana looking for a Resistance contact with information about Luke Skywalker's location. Our mission was to find him but things got out of hand because of me."

Everyone looked at her curiously. Even Ben, who was eager to hear what she had to say.

"I heard Kira's voice in my head and followed her. It was a trap." Rey took a breath. "Somehow she knew I'd be there, so I assume it was all a big distraction to capture us."

"It can't be. Why would they betray us? What did she want?" Ben was getting more and more confused.

"I'm not quite sure, but clearly nothing good!" Rey was telling the truth. She was still trying to understand the conversation they had in the forest glade. She didn't want to keep hiding things, but she needed more time to analyze them.

"I concur with the girl. The First Order has supporters and spies everywhere. Even within the Resistance." Han agreed with her. "I wouldn't be surprised if they were waiting for you."

They all drowned in their own thoughts. Then Ben crossed his arms in frustration.

"So, no contact, no clue. We're back to square one."

"That's not true. You found your father, Ben." Rey encouraged him with a sweet smile.

Ben grimaced strangely, halfway between a smile and a nagging gesture.

"What do you mean?" Han turned his head, interested in what Rey was saying.

"I got here a few days ago and promised Ben I'd help him find you." Of course, she neglected to tell him that Ben's part of the deal was still unfulfilled. For the moment she didn't want to add to the man's confusion by explaining where she came from.

"Is that right? Were you looking for me, Ben?" Han seemed excited.

Ben rolled his eyes and turned his face away.

"It's true! And now that they've found each other, they should make up." Rey turned a narrow view to Ben.

After a few seconds during which he seemed to struggle with himself, Ben nodded.

"Fine! I'm glad I found you, Father." He sounded unconvincing. 

Rey looked at Han, inviting him to do the same, but he stood up and hugged his son, squeezing him a little before releasing him.

The gesture took Ben by surprise, who was still a little angry with his father, but deep down he was beginning to truly forgive him and was happy to have found him alive, safe and sound.

Rey was very happy with her work. She only wanted to give them a little push to prevent them from killing each other and she had succeeded. The scene of genuine affection, just like the one she had seen in D'Qar with Leia, touched her soul. If there was one good thing about this whole adventure, it was the chance to see Ben reconcile with his parents.

Han stepped aside a bit embarrassed by the gesture, so unbecoming for someone like him.

"How is she? Is she angry...?" Han was referring to Leia

"Mum is waiting for you. You should go back."

"I was afraid of that. Well... _if there's no alternative_."

Han was joking, but he knew what he had to do and until then he didn't feel ready. The wrong impression he had with Rey now was meaningless. She was definitely a good person and _she had feelings for Ben._

"I hope your smuggling days are over. She needs you." Ben threatened him with a finger, just like his father minutes before.

"'I know!" With a gesture of annoyance, he headed for the cabin to undertake the longed-for return. "Chewie, enter the coordinates _. We're going home_." When he thought no one was looking, he let out a happy smile.

Rey was happy. For the moment her worries were gone and she was enjoying the present. Ben thought there was nothing brighter than her and _her smile_ , as he looked at her with fascination.

_Thank you, Rey._


	8. Our great divide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How can I see through your eyes my destiny?  
> I fall apart, you bleed for me  
> How can I see through your eyes our worlds collide?  
> Open your heart, to close our great divide"
> 
> Our great divide - Tarja Turunen - My winter storm

* * *

Rey thought it was best to give them some space, now that Han and Ben had smoothed out their rough edges. She couldn’t help but smile at the thought of how similar they were, both stubborn and passionate. Each in their own way, of course.

Leaving them and Chewie alone for a while to catch up wasn't such a bad idea because they'd be plenty time to talk about until they got to D'Qar.

She didn’t know Han well enough to understand him completely, just like Ben Solo, but with Ben Solo it was much more complex.

She couldn't draw parallels with the story she had already witnessed because the development was totally the opposite. Kylo Ren murdered his father, destabilizing his determination to join the Dark Side and taking the first steps on his path to redemption. But what would Ben do in this world? Would he be seduced again? Would he end up the same way?

The ache in her leg continued to bother her despite her efforts to close the wound. Something was still stuck inside, like a thorn, a reminder of her encounter with Kira and the doubts it had sown in her mind. Just when everything seemed to be going so well.

Rey reclined on the bunk-bed she had used since she had been in charge of the _Falcon_. She was in the largest room, the captain's quarters, hoping Han wouldn't mind the intrusion. _She felt so tired._

She fell asleep as soon as her head touched the hard pillow.

_"Tell me scavenger, have you made a decision?"_

_Kira Ren looked too real, just like last time. But now they were in a circular room full of mirrors, reflecting to infinity. Rey could be seen as well, her stupefied face repeated hundreds, thousands of times, along with Kira's._

_Rey noticed that her enemy did not carry a weapon, which brought her some peace of mind. But she couldn’t let his guard down._

_"Don't worry. I'm just here to talk." Kira crossed her arms. "Maybe here you'll listen to me for once."_

_Rey accepted the challenge_

_"Your words are misleading, Kira. You promise to take me back because it can benefit you, although I don't quite understand how I would do that. You also told me that I can stay here, but I have to give you something in return for that. What does all this mean? What do you really want? Where am I?"_

_Kira only nodded._

_"You finally ask the right questions, scavenger. Perhaps I am not as evil as you thought."_

_Rey prepared to listen to what he already knew deep down but it was not going to be any less painful._

_"You see, your world, as you know it, has not ceased to exist. Right now you are living an illusion. You're still there in the desert, alone and burdened. But you've found a shortcut to get here and find your other half. Here everything exists before and after you, like so many other worlds."_

_"You wonder how I know? Of course, you don't know the Dark Side's outreaches, even though you had no qualms about benefiting from them to come. Is it because your teachers, so perfect, couldn't or wouldn't help you? Or is it because you knew they wouldn't be able to?"_

_Rey processed the information as best she could._

_Don't think I'm offering my help just because I'm going to use you. You know, I'm here because of you too."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"My dear, you and I are inseparable, two sides of a coin. You can never get rid of me completely. But you will learn that between Light and Dark there are also grays."_

_"And from my point of view you only have two options."_

_"You can leave everything and go back to Tatooine. You've already witnessed that Ben is fine here and that his life will remain the same when you leave. In fact, he'll be better off. You've already brought him considerable trouble."_

_"If you stay here, it will be of your own free will. Let's see you get along with the certainty that you're living in a dream! A beautiful dream! But totally unreal."_

_The panic was over the Rey_

_"So, Ben is... Dead?" The word stuck in his throat "None of this is real?"_

_Kira smiled broadly._

_"Oh... Ben Solo is alive... the right question is where is he?"_

_"Now, listen carefully, scavenger. If you come back, I will go with you and leave this world in peace. You'll have bigger problems to deal with. I will make your life a living hell until you accept me. But in return you will have a chance to get to Ben by the long road that will bring him back to you, because the answer is in the books, as you always knew. And the books are still in your lap, at the Falcon, just as you left them to come here."_

_"If you decide to stay, you can pretend to have a life with him and you'll be happy. But both of you will be trapped forever in an endless cycle of time, and worst of all, you will be the only one to know the truth. Unless you tell Ben everything, how do you think he'll take it? Will he like knowing that he was the leader of the Knights of Ren, wiped out entire planets and murdered his own father? Do you think he'll love you after you tell him his life is a lie?"_

_"If you do this, I don't promise to leave them alone. You will have to fight this war again and again and again until your mind can no longer stand it. In the meantime you'll know that Ben is still out there somewhere, waiting for you to take him back, but you'll never be able to."_

_Rey clung to the improbable._

_"How do I know you're not lying?”_

_"I knew you wouldn't believe me. Well, I'll show you."_

Rey woke up with a strange feeling. She found it difficult to move her body as if she had slept for a long time in an uncomfortable position. She had to wait for the annoying tingling in her hands and the cramping in her legs to pass.

Once she managed to sit up, the sound of something heavy crashing to the ground caught her attention. The books from the Jedi shrine had slipped from her lap and were now on the floor.

Rey had a bad feeling, and rising suddenly she headed for the entrance gate of the _Falcon_. The ship stood still, as if it were on the ground and not flying through space. She was surprised that she did not cross paths with any of the other crew members of the ship.

"Ben? Han? Chewie?"

With no response, terror took over her body and a horrible feeling in her stomach forced her to stop.

She was alone _. Again._

As she arrived, the ramp slowly opened with a mechanical sound and what Rey saw on the other side left her devastated. BB-8 started screaming with joy in binary at the sight of her.

She was back on Tatooine.

_It can't be. She's playing with me._

She ran down the ramp and collapsed on the rough ground. Kneeling down, she gathered some sand between her hands to check her weight and convince herself that it was an illusion.

But she already knew it wasn’t.

Kira's voice in her head seemed to mock her.

_"Don't worry, you'll be back where you were."_

When she looked up, she was back at the _Falcon_. She was kneeling in her room and her hands still held the handful of sand. She watched absently as it slipped through her fingers, forming a small mountain on the metal floor. She stood very still, staring into the void.

Suddenly she burst into silent tears and embraced herself trying to calm the shaking in her body. The truth had devastated her and she was no longer so sure of what she had to do.

_"Do you believe me now? Remember that the decision is only yours."_

The voice was diluted and Rey heard soft knocking on the door. She had no way of knowing how much time had passed, but for her it felt like a few minutes.

She was agitated and her head was about to burst with pain. She looked at her hands in disbelief, _unable to accept that he was not really there._ Everything seemed so real.

Ben opened the door slowly, a little uncertain as he saw that Rey was not answering. He regretted having to wake her up but he had been sleeping for several hours and was worried. He thought a little food would cheer her up. But he didn't expect to see her in that state.

"Rey…? Are you all right?!" Leaving the tray on the floor, he knelt beside it and took its hands gently. "What's wrong?"

Rey couldn’t yet articulate a word, so she threw herself into Ben's arms and there unleashed his anguish. He rested his chin on her head and with his hands he caressed her back with a tender and reassuring gesture.

Rey knew at that moment that _she loved Ben_ and did not want to hurt him. He didn't deserve the pain she was going to cause him. Nothing could justify it, much less her own selfishness. She would have to do things the hard way.

Again, she felt that an abyss separated them because of all the things she could not confess to him. What was the point of doing that? Rey should feel privileged to have witnessed, in that borrowed time, the true nature of Ben's character. That life he had there was happy, and she could not simply remove it to bring him into her own reality where he would surely be hated for his actions as Kylo Ren.

But was the decision hers? At least now Rey was sure of how she felt about him.

"It's all right… it'll be all right..." Ben whispered reassuring words into her ear as she placed the Rey in her lap so he could be closer to her. He had never seen her cry like that and I didn't want to have to do it again. He felt helpless, devastated and vulnerable. He would do anything for her; he would do anything to make her happy _because he loved her._

The certainty of that feeling flooded his heart with happiness. He could not explain the mystery, but Ben knew he had fallen in love with her when he first saw her on Hoth, walking alone in the snow. A voice told him that this feeling was right and Rey was even more important than he could admit because even before that day _, he was already attached to her_.

Rey was carried away by Ben's warm embrace and his exquisite scent of sandalwood and leather. She sank her face into his chest and let her tears run down without trying to hold them back. The temptation to stay was so great that his determination was nearly broken.

Ben waited patiently for a few minutes until Rey calmed down a bit and leaned back so he could watch her. He placed a lock of hair behind her ear that had come out and continued the caress up to her chin, gently lifting it to make her look at him.

Rey was calmer but her emotions were still running high. She had never exposed herself like that in front of anyone before and was not afraid of Ben, he could never hurt her. She placed one of her hands on his cheek and was mesmerized by his beautiful smile.

Ben placed one hand on the base of the Rey’s neck and moved closer until their foreheads touched. Both closed their eyes wishing the moment would last forever.

Their lips met almost at the same time, shyly at first, and the world was reduced to that contact. The tender kiss soon became something more and Rey abandoned herself to Ben's gentle but passionate siege, wrapping his arms around his neck to draw him closer.

Rey recalled briefly the kiss she had given him in Exegol and what had happened afterwards. But she did not realize her mistake until it was too late.

Ben walked away from her in fear. _He had seen it too._

He was overcome by a sense of emptiness, of finitude, an uneasiness that was generated by fear of what he did not yet know, or something he already knew but did not want to admit.

He remembered that he had already seen that scene when Rey asked him to enter her mind in Hoth. But at that time he did not feel so attached to it, he ignored many things and the distance kept him safe. But now he was beginning to understand that things between them were more complex than he had imagined.

_Maybe he had died that day after all._

"Ben... I'm sorry, I couldn't..." Rey didn’t know what to say. The memory was just as painful for her as the guilt for having abandoned him, for not being able to cure him, for having failed him.

"It’s alright." Ben looked away, unable to gather his thoughts.

"No!" Rey took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. "You should not have seen that. I'm sorry."

Ben misunderstood her intention and let himself be invaded by sorrow.

"Rey, why do you insist on keeping things from me? Why are you holding on to the past?" He waited for her answer with a breath.

"I just want to protect you. If you knew that... if you knew the truth... you'd hate me."

"Don't do it. I can take care of myself." Ben came up to her again "And there's no way I could hate you."

"Oh, you will, believe me." Rey gently put his hands away and began to rise. But Ben stopped her.

"No. Trust me. If you can't tell me everything, it's okay. I respect that." Ben paused for some air. "I just want you to know that I can make you happy, if you accept me."

_Damn, this is hard._

"Ben Solo _, I love you_. I want to stay, there's nothing else in this world that I want. But I can't do it, I'll bring you pain and I can't take it."

 _She loves me._ The rejection didn't hit him that hard after hearing his confession. Now he was sure of his love and would do anything to be with her.

"I'll wait for you; I'll wait as long as it takes."

"It's not that simple, it's not about time." Rey began to wander around the room trying to find the right words. "I... _I'm not really here_... Our worlds cannot come together and they should never have. I made a mistake in coming; perhaps I've already done irreparable damage."

"Then I'll come and get you. I'll leave all this, I don't care!"

"Don't say that... Your parents, everything you know... I can't let you give all this up for me."

"Then we'll find another way." Ben stood up and took the Rey by the shoulders.

"There is another way... but it will only bring you pain."

"What's it all about?"

There was no turning back now, Rey felt her heart beating wildly. She had to risk everything for him.

"You'd have to remember everything, only to discover that you're not who you think you are and that your life so far is just a farce! Do you really want that?!"

Ben's eyes were wide open and he was staring at her with no expression. After a few moments, he spoke.

"Just tell me, Rey, why is _he_ so important? Why do you want that monster back?"

_Embrace your darkness._ _Maybe that's what Kira meant._

"I don't want Kylo Ren back." Ben looked at her with a scowl, puzzled. "I want Ben Solo back. But I can't get one back without the other."

She had finally spoken the words she feared he would hear. Rey was waiting for his reaction but Ben did not seem to be impressed.

_He always knew._

He knew from the connection he felt with her, he knew from the moment he let the Force into his life again.

_Damn it, he knew the minute he saw her. But he did his best to block it out._

But now he wanted to know _how that was possible and why._

Rey watched Ben's emotions as he walked away from her. Her greatest fears were confirmed. She regretted that she let herself be carried away by selfishness. What would happen now? What would he think of her?

Ben looked up to meet her gaze and Rey felt _as if he were seeing her for the first time_. Now she was a stranger to him, a traitor. She had fallen into his seemingly happy world to ruin his life. Rey would never forgive herself for that.

"That is not true." Ben guessed her thoughts. "I was not happy. I was never happy until I met you, Rey. Not in this life, not in any other. So don't ever regret it."

And then he left the room, leaving her alone with her miseries.

* * *

_There's only one option left. The hardest one._

Rey almost smiled with irony. When were the tests going to be over?

She prepared for what she was going to do next. She took a deep breath and exhaled gently, repeating the process until her concentration was complete. She hoped that Ben would forgive her, if she ever saw him again.

"Fine, Kira. Take me back."

_"So be it."_

The twin suns of Tatooine welcomed her again.

* * *

Ben wasn't angry, he just wanted to analyze the situation in silence. With Rey so close he could not control himself and was afraid to do or say anything that would scare her off forever.

Accepting the truth was not an easy process. He allowed himself to do so in small doses so as not to go crazy. The first step would be to go back to the base and get as much information as possible about what Rey had mentioned.

 _Alternate realities, space-time travel_ , he would study any clue no matter how ridiculous. But I couldn't do it without her, he had to stop her from leaving.

A little calmer, he retraced his steps and opened the door of the room hoping to find Rey. But she wasn't there anymore.

A little surprised, he called her slowly at first and more insistently later when he saw that she did not appear. The _Falcon_ was not so big as to get lost.

_No, Rey, tell me you didn't._

With a fateful shudder running down his back, he made sure she hadn't fled in the escape pods. They were all in place. They were not yet ashore, so there was no other way to leave the ship.

The panic increased when he found his father and Chewie at the table, playing Dejarik. Rey wasn’t there either.

"Have you seen Rey?"

Han was so focused on making sure Chewie didn't cheat that he decided to ignore the question. Ben was losing his patience by leaps and bounds. He flipped a switch to turn off the game with the wookiee reproaches in the background and his father's annoying stare. He repeated the question.

"Who? There's no one else here, son. Just us."

_"What?"_

"Don't look at me like that! You know very well that you were alone when we found you in Takodana.

Chewie confirmed Han's words with a grunt and a shrug.

* * *


	9. Rest calm

First of all, I want to thank [Ghydium](https://twitter.com/ghydium)

for the lovely [Reylo Kiss](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EVoTaeDUMAI_zrf?format=jpg&name=small) at chapter 8!

_Within there's every little memory resting calm with me  
Resting in a dream  
Smiling back at me  
The faces of the past keep calling me to come back home  
Rest calm and remember me_

**_Nightwish – Rest Calm – Imaginaerum_ **

* * *

Rey awoke with no surprises this time, back on Tatooine, just as Kira had promised. But the feeling of dreaming did not leave her and she had to pinch her arm to confirm that she was finally awake.

_«That worked pretty badly in the past, it doesn't really prove anything.»_

Sadly she put her fingers to her lips, with the memory of Ben's kiss lingering in them and in her mind. _Everything had been real_ even though there was nothing left of him to prove it, not even the shirt he recovered on Exegol. Rey could not help but think what would have happened if she had stayed a few more minutes, but prolonging the inevitable made no sense when the decision was irrevocable.

_Would he be looking for me now? Would he be angry or disappointed? Would he even remember me?_

She acknowledged that maybe she had been driven by fear; perhaps she had acted too hastily. Her impulsiveness prevented her from seeing that there were other possibilities besides the two options Kira had shown her. Nor had she attempted to share her thoughts with Ben, either in words or through her mind. In the end, she revealed far more than she would have wished, and she had no way of knowing the extent of its consequences.

Analyzing the situation, Rey acted by process of elimination. The two options were terrible, but the worst was to remain trapped there, tempted by the illusion of a happiness that was possible at expenses of deception. Even if Ben discovered and accepted the truth about his past, how could she stay there knowing that at any moment she could wake up in her _own_ reality, with no possibility of turning back?

Already in the face of the irremediable, Rey realized that she could have trusted Ben to find another answer. But she didn’t because the fear of seeing him fall back into the Darkness of memory was more than she could bear. With so many conflicts in her own mind, how could she help him? Was abandoning him the right decision? She had no way of knowing, she had been guided by logic, thinking it was best to act with the head, when her heart was crying out to be near Ben.

But going back was entirely her decision; no one had manipulated her mind, _not even Kira._

Rey knew she had to wake up the moment she discovered she was still asleep on Tatooine. And the hardest thing for her to understand was not the curtain falling, showing her the farce of her journey, but admitting that she fled because she panicked. If she had stayed one more minute with him, so understanding and warm with her, she could never have left. And if Kira wasn't lying, going back was decisive to the plan to bring Ben back.

 _«The irony of it all is, coming back to get back»_ But that's just the way it was.

Rey thought bitterly that the happiness she borrowed from finding him and discovering that her feelings for him were deep could not be free. She couldn't save him before; she couldn't have him back now, at least not in a simple way. But this time it was different because she was sure she would be able to sacrifice everything for him and for a life together. _And he would do the same for her._

The spark of hope always burning in her heart was not going to leave her so easily. Rey clung to it and to the certainty that she had not lost Ben a second time, but was closer to getting him back.

At the foot of the litter she found the books of the Temple of Ahch-To, another promise that Kira fulfilled. Rey lifted them carefully and began to search through them in frenzy, as if the answer to her questions could magically materialize. But the words remained a riddle to her, the graphics and characters totally unknown. Their meaning was impossible to decipher without the corresponding translation. And even if she could translate them, she needed to know how to use them.

She had to concentrate, think calmly and meditate. The last time it had worked without even trying. But was she willing to do the same and end up in another parallel reality to begin her painful search again? _Of course she wasn’t_. But she had to try it some other way. She wouldn't give up.

She took the books and left the _Falcon_ to walk around a bit. Returning to the starting point knowing what she now knew was a good thing. She wasn't alone like at first, she had a clear purpose.

Outside the day seemed to be beginning. She did some mental math to come to the conclusion that she had only been with Ben for three or four standard days.

_It wasn't the first time her life had changed completely in a matter of hours._

BB-8 was happy to have her back and didn't let the opportunity pass to reprimand Rey for leaving him alone for so many days. The droid was as expressive and loving of her as a friend could be, but his interests leaned more toward Rey's biological survival.

How long was she asleep? She had to find out how time passed in both realities because that would make it easier for her to connect with Ben again. Did it work the same way as the Force Bonds they shared in the past?

The feelings of anger and rage faded along with the voice of Kira, which strangely had not been heard since her return. Accepting the use of the knowledge of the Dark Side had never been an option for Rey, even after he had resorted to it by accident.

But some of what Kira had told him was true. There was no such thing as a frontier between Light and Darkness, at least she didn't want to live on either end.

If she allowed herself to be overcome by sadness and anger, Kira would win the battle. If Rey succumbed to the darkness when she discovered that her quest was impossible, she would become what he was trying to avoid. That's what his enemy meant when she told her _she would be free_.

But Kira was a part of Rey, just as Kylo was a part of Ben Solo. Neither of them could change the past, but they had the right to right their wrongs by creating a future together. Achieving balance was the goal, taking the good and discarding the bad, accepting imperfections and mistakes, respecting cycles and times.

By interfering in Ben's reality she had caused harm to herself and others, but she also discovered that he was alive and she may have known a side of him that was denied her. She was able to spend more time with him, even if it was brief, and she could still do so. Rey had many questions, perhaps many more than before she began her journey. But she would take things slowly, tackling the problems little by little, solving the most immediate ones one by one.

Lars' homestead was just as she'd left it when she gone. Luckily no marauders took advantage of her absence and the weather cooperated by keeping the sandstorms away for a change.

Opening the door carefully, Rey thought vaguely of the days, weeks, she had spent making the house fit to live in. Unaware of these memories as if all this had happened in another life, she walked around the rooms looking at everything in detail. She had never really thought about living there, but for several days that kept her busy, suspended in time until she could concentrate on her future.

 _But what had been her real desire?_ Rey had dreamed of traveling the galaxy, seeing new worlds, but she didn't want to do it alone and her friends had their own problems. She also wished for a quiet life after having lost so much to save them all. And that wasn't bad either. She wanted a family of her own, she wanted to share her life with someone else.

 _Not with someone else, but with Ben_. And now she was sure that's what she wanted.

A little illusion lodged in her soul and echoed in her stomach as if the flight of hundreds of butterflies were flapping around inside her. Before she couldn't imagine living alone in that house, but now she would have the chance to share it with Ben, if he wanted to. After all, it was his uncle's house, but they could find another place because any place would be good.

_«If I could find him.»_

Putting pessimism aside with a wave of her hand, she retained the excitement of having something to fight for. Ben was alive! If only she could see him again to explain the reason for her departure and beg his forgiveness. She wanted to see him again, to kiss him again, without the bad memories of his death interfering this time.

She could imagine that he was coming back, but it was better not to go that way for now, because how would the world receive him? What would her friends say? Rey was confident that she could explain everything to them, quietly. _They had to know_ that Ben had saved her life.

Rey knew that by leaving he had caused Ben pain but he no longer feared for him because she trusted that he would try to find her by any means. She didn't know, but she was sure. Perhaps the Darkness would reach him through his memories without her being able to prevent it, but she would help him to master his emotions because she had found peace in her own soul.

_«Rey Skywalker.»_

She had accepted her story and her legacy, paying tribute to the past and to her Masters. Everyone expected a lot from her, but she no longer wanted that.

_«Palpatine's granddaughter and Vader's grandson»_

Both had the weight of their ancestors on them but they could start over, they could choose to be whoever they wanted to be. She wanted to be Rey, just Rey of Jakku, or Rey of Nowhere. But she wanted to be master of her life and her decisions.

 _"You're not alone."_ No, not anymore.

"Neither are you," replied Rey loudly and with a smile, hoping that the wind would carry her words to Ben.

But the next day, the wind brought her an answer as unexpected as it was welcome.

Rey knew that the ship that landed near the _Falcon_ was carrying her friends, before she saw them come down the ramp. Finn ran ahead, followed by a worried Rose and a grumpy Poe. Rey was happy to see them. She had missed them very much.

"Reeeeeey!" Finn gave her a heartfelt hug and took on a grievous tone. "We were so worried about you. Why didn't you answer the calls? We were afraid something bad had happened to you!”

"Rey, I'm glad to see you well." Rose greeted her with an ear-to-ear smile, but bowed her head a little distrustfully as Rey dodged her gaze. "Something is wrong" was not a question but a statement.

"Of course it is, I don't understand why you came alone in the first place!" Poe was crossed in his arms, very upset, but was immediately distracted by the sight of the droid. "BB-8! I've missed you so much!"

"Actually, something happened. Why don't you come in?" Rey sighed _. It was going to be a long night._

* * *

Once they were comfortably installed in the living room of the home, Rey prepared to tell her tale. Her friends looked at her curiously as Rey looked for a way to start the story. She tried to concentrate and be as clear as possible, but there were details she could not leave out. She had no idea how they were going to take it but she also didn't see any other solution and if she was going to risk it again to return, they deserved to know because if she failed, they would never see her again.

"I should have told you the whole truth long ago, but I wasn't ready to do so and I really had no reason. I thought you wouldn't believe me. I won't try to get you to do that now, but I need you to know some things about me."

All three nodded, visibly intrigued. Rose reached out a hand to reassure her.

"You can trust us. We will never think badly of you. " Rey thought tenderly that _Rose was still Rose_ in any reality and she was grateful for the gesture.

“It's about... him, right? Kylo Ren?” Although Finn's insight surprised Rey, she silently nodded.

“ Who does he mean? What does he have to do with you? Wasn't he dead?” Poe didn't seem to understand and Rose looked at him raising both eyebrows warning him to keep silent.

Poe's rudeness made Rey bite her lips to stop a protest. She hadn't told them that Ben was the one who helped her defeat Palpatine. When she returned to the Resistance base in Ajan Kloss and they asked her about Kylo Ren, they simply assumed that he had died in Kef Bir and she never revealed his true identity. The only one who knew was Finn because she had confided in him.

"A few days ago I tried to reach him while meditating and things got out of hand..."

"Did you find it?" Rose could not suppress the question and neither could the panic that made her voice tremble.

"Where is he? Is he _here_? What were you thinking about? " Poe stood up violently and took one hand to his gun.

"Calm down! He's not here, is he? Rey?" Finn sought confirmation of his words.

"I should start at the beginning." Rey appealed to all the patience she could muster. _It was really going to be a long night._

Several hours and coffees later, she had managed to tell them about the nature of her relationship through the Force with Kylo Ren first and then with Ben without being interrupted.

They were amazed, immersed in the story as if Rey was telling someone else's epic tale. Their faces went from disbelief to fury in a matter of seconds but they respectfully let she go to the end. She tried to be objective but her feelings betrayed her, she spoke of Ben with true affection even though she was not willing to admit to them that she had fallen in love with him, for fear of being judged.

After a few uncomfortable minutes, Poe was the first to speak.

"You have hundreds of people around you. Why did you have to fall in love with that…"

"Take it easy, Poe. We must trust Rey. Only she knows what he's really like. And if he's worthy of her love, I don't think he's a bad person.” Finn intervened on behalf of Rey, although a part of him was not completely convinced and feared for his friend..

"Really? I see you forgot that he knocked you out in _Starkiller_." Poe started walking around the room. "Remember when he tortured me on his ship? Oh, I must be mistaking him for _someone else._ "

"Didn't you hear Rey? _Kylo Ren is dead_! She wants to bring _Ben_ back."

"Am I the only one here who thinks it's better to leave he where he is? We can't risk it.”

“No one asked for your opinion. Rey needs help and we will do everything we can.”

I can't accept it."

"You'll have to, if he comes back. We will all do it, for Rey." Rose stood up firmly.

"So you too have trouble remembering that he was involved in the extermination of entire planets, gave orders to kill millions of souls, including your own sister, by the way!"

“How do you know he gave the orders? Ren was nothing more than a subordinate of Snoke.”

“What part of _Supreme Leader_ do you two not understand? He had thousands of chances to do the right thing and he didn't. What makes you think he wouldn't take control again if he came back?”

Rose was silent and looked down, a little embarrassed for having defended the former Supreme Leader but confident of the reasons Rey had for wanting Ben's return.

"I do not know how, but he will have to pay for his crimes. It is the condition of the defeated. The whole galaxy will want a trial." Finn came to his defense with a conciliatory tone. "Besides, you can't hold him responsible for everything, and I'm sure he'll have plenty to say."

Rose nodded.

"It could be a great help in ending the last traces of the First Order once and for all. You know there are still many loyalists operating from the shadows. Who better than the Supreme Leader to provide us with that information?"

Poe wasn't convinced, he was still angry. But he could see Rose's point. The wretched would do anything to save his own skin. And if his feelings for Rey were half as strong as she felt for him, he'd have reason to fight for his life.

“And who is going to convince him? Rey? Who did he take prisoner and wanted to kill several times?”

Rey listened in silence, becoming more and more distressed. She was going to need all the help he could get from his friends or he would have no choice but to hide with Ben forever in some place where no one would recognize them. She wanted to intervene in Ben's defense but was tired and sorry for what she had done.

“He has changed! If Rey says so, then I believe her. Don't judge him before you know his story.”

“Are you saying he has changed _for love_?”

Finn stood up to try and calm Poe down.

“We all make mistakes. You don't know what it's like to have someone in your head all the time, telling you what to do, making you think you're doing the right thing when you're not.“ Poe stared at him this time, understanding that he was referring to his past as Stormtrooper. “Believe me, my friend. I do.”

Rose sat beside her while Finn and Poe continued to argue.

"We will do everything in our power, but you should prepare yourself for the worst. I don't want to give you false hope but out there... almost everyone wants him dead. They didn't get a chance to meet him like you did and it won't be so easy to convince them, Rey."

"I know... I never thought it would be easy. But I didn't want to think about it until I found it."

"So what are you going to do now? Do you have any idea how to do it?"

"No. The answer is in those Ancient books but I cannot understand what they say." Rey sighed in frustration and hid her head in her arms.

“Let's see, you need a translator with knowledge of ancient languages. It won't be easy to find someone with so much knowledge in a short time... We can try to locate Beaumont Kin but you would have to tell him too.”

Finn abruptly stopped his fight with Poe and stared at something behind Rey, but could not make out his forms. There was _something or someone_ listening to the conversation. Rey was the only one to follow the course of his gaze and could not see anything, but he _definitely_ felt another presence in the room, which quickly vanished.

_«Could it be that... Ben is trying to communicate?»_

She suddenly opened her eyes wide, remembering that Ben had knowledge accumulated in almost two lives because in his own reality he also knew of the existence of books and would be looking for them, perhaps in a desperate maneuver to get her to come back for her.

“ It won't be necessary. I know the perfect person. “She would have to come back, after all, or find some way to connect with Ben to ask for help.

« _We'll do this together.»_

The front door slammed open and everyone was speechless as they recognized the guest. His presence was so out of tune with the place that for a moment no one reacted except Rey who felt hope reborn in her heart.


	10. Nemo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Walk the dark path  
> Sleep with angels  
> Call the past for help  
> Touch me with your love  
> And reveal to me my true name
> 
> Oh how I wish  
> For soothing rain  
> All I wish is to dream again  
> My loving heart  
> Lost in the dark  
> For hope I'd give my everything"
> 
> Nemo - Nightwish - Once

Ben's eyes lit up with panic and fury. His father and Chewie were acting like he was insane, denying that Rey was getting on the ship in the first place.

_None of this makes any sense. Was it all a fickle creation of my imagination?_

_No. She's real._

His mind was spiraling at full speed trying to understand what was going on and how it was possible for a person to disappear without a trace on a ship, in the middle of space.

Of course, as far as Rey was concerned, no exact solutions could be applied.

For Ben, there were many things to take in. First the certainty that the world he knew was falling apart and now the fact that no one seemed to remember Rey. But surely for both there would be a good explanation.

Han stood up looking at his son cautiously. There was something different about him, about his eyes and his walk. He put a hand on his shoulder and tried to calm him down. Chewie looked at the scene curiously.

"Son. Tell me what's going on. Who are you looking for? Let me help you."

But Ben ignored his kind offer and took refuge in the room again, lost in thought. He wanted to be alone. He needed to calm down and process the information to decide his next steps.

_Although the truth was, he had no idea what to do._

Once there, he had to resort to great effort to settle. Despair was growing inside him and he couldn't let this happen. From one moment to the next he had gone from extreme happiness to ludicrous sadness. He wanted to understand, but it was very difficult to resist that voice that was coming back to get him and to sink him into old grudges. _The feeling was too familiar_.

But _there was no other voice_ in his mind, there was anyone else in his head, just him and the silence of his own thoughts.

He did not regret opening his heart to Rey and he did not lie when he told the young woman that he could leave everything behind, even now that he was beginning to assimilate that perhaps his life was not as simple as he remembered it and that this emptiness in his brain was being completed with a divergent and dark history in which Rey was more important than he thought.

_And yet she was gone. Why?_

Deep down he knew that she wasn't trying to hurt him and that she would have good reason to leave him behind. But he couldn't help but be angry. Why had she left when his questions were starting to get answered?

He blamed himself for not being able to gain her trust. Maybe if he hadn't left the room, if he hadn't left her alone. Rey was afraid, but he couldn't accuse her of being a coward when he was _terrified_ himself.

Those thoughts were leading him nowhere. _No one answered for the other side._

There were still traces of her, her scent on the pillow and the memory of the kiss on her own lips. The intact food tray he had prepared for her and the pile of sand in the room's dream that Ben could not explain.

 _Did she return to her own reality?_ Ben remembered seeing Lars' homestead on Tatooine among the Rey's memories, when she asked him to come into her mind on Hoth. The twin suns, the sand, the abandoned white building she was trying to reclaim.

One less riddle to solve.

He clenched his fists tightly until his knuckles went pale and he felt his fingernails plowing into the palm of his hand. He felt that he wanted to hit the wall, destroy something until it was reduced to rubble and vent his anger with violence.

But that was something he could not afford now. Perhaps not everything was clear yet, but Ben knew that if he gave free rein to those feelings it would become everything he had learned to avoid _until now_.

Because, in addition to the disappearance of Rey, Ben had bigger problems to deal with. Like the fact that for some reason he would have to deal now with the memories of his previous life and try not to go crazy in the process.

Somehow it was all real: that other life and the one he had so far believed to be unique. And the last days with Rey were the key to understanding everything. That way he could understand, he could make sense of it. Or he would really lose his mind trying.

He was no longer afraid of that unknown past. But accepting that Kylo Ren was a part of him meant admitting that he was _dead_ in Rey's reality because he saw it in her memories. And yet she insisted that he was not, and in search of answers the Force had led her to him.

Ben concluded that his current life and all his memories were true, a continuation of his previous existence that he had no memory of, as if he had been reborn there for some reason that escaped him. _Redemption? Second chance? Caprice of the Force?_

Gradually the fog in his mind opened up to clear images of that other life, as it had done in previous days. But he no longer considered them as alien visions, he now understood in awe that they belonged to him.

_And it wasn't the first time that Rey rejected him. Nor the second, but the third._

The fire-covered red room episode now made sense to him: Snoke's throne room. How had he forgotten something like that?

_His gloved hand demanding Rey to join him, her face full of tears, Snoke's mutilated body, the Resistance ships escaping to Crait._

Ben bit his lips; he definitely wasn't good with words. Who in their right mind would think of accepting a proposal that began with _"You come from nothing, you're nothing, but not to me"?_ He didn't know why he thought it was a good idea at the time.

And then, when they met again a year later, the result was no different. He reached out again after telling her they were a dyad on the Force. His invariable style of flirting left much to be desired: " _We'll kill him. Together. We will take the throne. You know what you have to do."_ What was he thinking?

If he had the strength at the time to laugh at himself, he would have done it. But there were still so many awful things to discover. And he had to concur with Rey, he wouldn't have agreed to it either. But why had she run away this time?

She said his life was a sham, that remembering would bring him pain.

And she was right about the second part of her warning. But Ben could not regret wanting to get to the bottom of that question, sooner or later he was going to find out because his mind was not going to rest until he put the pieces of his fragmented history together. _Rey was trying to protect him._

Ben could not yet say where he was in the universe, but from what Rey had revealed before she left, it was not a traditional place. His world and hers were connected by some kind of bridge but they could not be brought together. Perhaps what united them was the extraordinary bond they shared.

_We are a dyad in the Force, Rey. Two that are one._

Looking around, Ben noticed something else in the room, something he had overlooked when he entered. The black shirt that Rey never got rid of, _his tunic_. He went over to inspect it, surprised that she hadn't worn it but happy to keep a record of their time together. When he placed his hands on it, other memories flashed through his mind.

_Rey caught Kylo Ren's sword in the air and, lighting it, pierced his chest with it. Then she put it out with trembling hands and bent over where he had fallen devastated by the deadly wound._

_He felt pain, cold, agony. He felt his mother say goodbye through the Force. He sought the eyes of the Rey and accepted that he was dying. But she reached out his hand to transfer energy from the Force and closed his wound, all his wounds, saving his life._

_"You were right. I wanted to hold your hand. Ben's hand."_

Yes. Rey was right. The past was painful.

But he wouldn't waste any more time because for some reason _he was alive_ and he needed to find Rey. He couldn't change that past and couldn't ignore it anymore. Ben realized that he had wasted his life and now he had a chance to get it back. Perhaps that was the meaning of this _second life_ he had been allowed to live.

But it wasn't enough; it was no use to him if Rey wasn't there for him. And that was the only thing he was not allowed because everyone was on opposite sides of reality. He had to solve it, he had to find a way to get to it and for that he needed help.

* * *

Han was worried about his son. He certainly couldn't consider himself the best example of a father figure but he always wanted the best for Ben. Of course, he made mistakes and there were many of them, but he hoped that he could correct some of them, hoping that it wasn't too late.

Seeing Ben so depressed was more than he could bear because it brought back memories of when he was a child and made him sad for long periods of time. Only his mother could get him out of those trances, and many times she could not.

Han had always known that Ben's soul was pure but was pierced by a vein of darkness. Leia had told him this when he was a baby, even when he was in her womb. After all, he was none other than the grandson of Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader, two people in one, great polarities in conflict of Light and Darkness.

But Han knew that his son did not carry only a legacy in the Force. Everyone seemed to have high expectations for him, everyone expected too much of a child who could have been normal if his parents had paid more attention to him. As a father he berated himself every day, but his son was an adult now, and what was done was done.

Luke knew better than anyone the consequences the Darkness could have on Ben and did what neither Han nor Leia could do: his uncle gave him a choice. It's true that while he was under their care he didn't express any disagreement and in fact seemed to enjoy it. But perhaps Ben did not want to follow the path of the Jedi. And when the darkness began to show, Luke explained to him the reasons why it was better to abandon that path and convinced him that closing himself off from the Force was the best option to avoid falling into the Dark Side.

And after that, everything was fine for a while, although this was one way of saying it. Leia didn't have time and Han didn't know exactly what to do with Ben so her son went to live with Lando and Chewbacca visited him occasionally.

Meanwhile, the outside world was getting a little worse every day. The First Order rose from the ashes of the Empire and Leia formed the Resistance with the best resources and diplomatic support she could get. A new war was beginning.

And around that time, Han found the child of Jakku.

She never revealed her true name, but she liked to be called Kira. Maybe it was a way to hide from everyone. She was only eight years old and lived miserably as a scavenger, eating just enough not to die and having a lot of wit for such a young girl. Han found her in his ship a week after landing at the Niima outpost in search of urgent spare parts. The girl had infiltrated to escape a life of need. No one could blame her.

But Han didn't know what to do with her. He thought of taking her home, but he had enough problems with one child to try to enlarge the family. And he was never particularly inclined to be a father.

But before he could do anything about it, the First Order came to take her away. That's when he learned that Kira was sensitive to the Force and knew he would have to take her to Luke. Only to discover, sometime later, that this was a terrible idea too.

The Supreme Leader had a keen interest in the girl and did not stop chasing her until he managed to track her down with Luke, eight years later. The First Order was responsible for the destruction of the Academy and the abduction of Kira. Luke had been missing ever since, but before he left for exile, he had confided in him that the story- as is often the case- had two versions.

As a rule, everyone ended up believing that Kira had left voluntarily but few knew that Luke tried to fight for her. Showing a defeated Jedi, the last of them, was excellent publicity for the First Order.

After that episode and the inability to help Ben any further, Luke had retired forever, lost somewhere in the Galaxy. Han had been looking for him ever since, along with Chewie, tracking down clues wherever they came from, far from his own home. So far he had obtained a fragment of a map indicating his position and a mythical name whispered by a handful of people who had known Luke over the years. _Ahch-To._

Han had failed his son and that little girl, too.

But the years had brought him wisdom as well as resentment, and he wasn't going to pass up a chance to help Ben if he let him.

* * *

When Ben finally left the room ready to face everything, his father was leaning on the door, waiting for him.

"Ben!"

He stopped abruptly, another memory took hold of his senses but this time he resigned himself to the vision passing without being altered. But it was worse than he imagined.

_On the Starkiller Bridge, his father spoke his name and asked him to remove his mask. But he knows what will happen, Snoke tested him and he must not fail even if it means breaking his soul into pieces._

_"The Supreme Leader is wise. He knows who I am and who I can become. And he knows what you are, Han Solo. You are not a general or a hero. Just a petty thief and a smuggler."_

_"Well, he's right about that."_

_(…)_

_"It's never too late for the truth. Come with me. Come home. Your mother misses you."_

_"They're tearing me apart. I want... I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?"_

_Han loves him above all things, even though he has become the enemy, because he is his son. Then Kylo thrust his sword into the air, ending his father's life, and then watched him fall to his death._

Ben dodged his gaze in utter devastation and embarrassment, and headed for the cabin to take one of the seats. Just when he thought he was ready, another crime followed. It was almost a reminder that he would discover many more things, that the worst was yet to come. What could be worse than that?

 _Not being able to see Rey anymore, that was worse._ He clung to the hope of seeing her again because somewhere she was doing the same thing.

Han followed him there and sat next to him.

"I know I've never been much help, but you know you can count on me."

"It's too complicated, you wouldn't understand."

Ben immediately regretted using that tone with Han, but he didn't know how to rectify it. His father was like a stranger to him. Was Han real? Would he remember what he had just seen too? How could he look his father in the eye now?

"Try me." 

"Right." Ordering your thoughts out loud wasn't such a bad thing. Especially now that he had someone willing to listen to him. His father.

He took a deep breath, thinking through the words and how he was going to say them.

"I found Rey on Hoth and the _Falcon_ three days ago. She arrived there without being able to explain how, guided by the Force to find someone he was desperately looking for. She was convinced that this person was me."

"Are you? Did you know her?"

"This will be hard to believe, but... No. I wasn't then, I didn't know her. I felt she was familiar but I didn't know until now, I didn't want to accept it until it was very, very late."

"So what happened?"

"We made a deal. Rey is powerful in the Force and I was completely closed. I thought she could find you and in return I would help her return home. But to do that she needed to find some ancient books of the Jedi Order that were in the sanctuary on the planet called Ahch-To."

"So she fulfilled her part of the deal."

"Just when I discovered I was the person she was looking for, she disappeared as if she existed only in my mind. Apparently she found another way back."

"The way I see it, you did your part too."

"The truth is, I was hoping he'd stay. With me. “

"I know. You have that look in your eye."

"What look?"

"You're crazy about her."

"So you believe me?"

"Of course I do." And then he hesitated for a second and added, "How do you think Chewie and I ended up in Takodana?"

"You said someone warned you the _Falcon_ was there." Ben looked at him with interest.

"And so it was, but I was looking for you. I made up the ship so you wouldn't think your father was naive. But three days ago I had a very strange dream, a real nightmare."

"What kind of dream?"

"There was you, dressed in black and wearing a mask that you took off. You told me that you needed my help and then you stabbed me with a lightsaber in the shape of a cross and threw me into the void. Then I would see my lucky dice in the hands of a young woman whom I could not see but could hear. And she said that you were looking for me because you wanted to tell me something. I thought you might be in danger and it was time to go home."

Ben seemed to be speechless for several seconds. The young woman in the dream could be no other than Rey. She had created some sort of bridge through meditation to reach Han and had succeeded, even though her father had nothing to do with the Force.

_But something very different was to be transported in body and soul to another reality._

However, it was something to consider. The bridge was two-way so he would have to be able to get a message to her the same way she had gotten to her father. Hope lit up her face and gave her father a triumphant smile.

Han looked at him curiously.

"Well, has this old man helped you at all?"

"More than you know."

If Han was surprised by his son's genuine hug, he did not express it out loud. The feeling was new and he liked it very much. But he couldn't help but think with some sadness, that Ben was saying goodbye to him.

_In Kef-Bir he saw his father for the last time, a memory of him that haunted him for years until he finally found peace._

_"I know what I have to do. But I don't know if I have the strength to do it.”_

_"You do."_

_"Father...?"_

_"I know"_

_And then he turned, threw the sword that he had paid for in blood, and a new life began. Kylo Ren died, Ben Solo lives._

"So you'll go and get her?" His father's voice took him out of the picture.

"It's not so simple; she's not in a place I can reach so easily. Besides, we set a course for D'Qar." Ben looked at his father with a bit of reproach.

Han waved, as if to play down the importance. He really wanted to take one more trip before he came back. He wanted to spend more time with his son.

"And what about the Jedi texts and their mumbo-jumbo? She told you they're in Ahch-To."

"Yes, but I don't know how to get there."

"Today is your lucky day, kid" Han pulled a device from his jacket pocket that he attached to the navigation console. "I can get you close, but you'll have to guide us the rest of the way. I believe your decision to open up to the Force was opportune."

"Are you sure you want to do this?” Ben looked at him squinting.

"I never question anything until after I've done it.”

Ben smiled at his father. _It would be their first and last adventure together._


	11. Escapist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A nightingale in a golden cage  
> That's me locked inside reality's maze  
> Come someone make my heavy heart light  
> Come undone, bring me back to life
> 
> A nightingale in a golden cage  
> That's me lock inside reality's maze  
> Come someone make my heavy heart light  
> It all starts with a lullaby"
> 
> Nightwish - Escapist -Bye Bye Beautiful

The coordinates of the _Millennium Falcon_ indicated that in a matter of hours they would be near the area where Ahch-To was located. From there, Ben would have to figure out how to get to the mysterious planet. But now that he had allowed the Force to enter his life again, he was sure he would succeed.

_You can imagine an ocean. I can see it. I can see the island_

He needed to see Rey first, to make sure she was okay and that she hadn't lost faith in him. Ben felt like he had a string tied to his heart, pulling it but not breaking it, causing him pain and happiness at the same time. The pain of being apart, his only goal now was to be able to reunite with her, and the happiness of knowing he had a good chance of finding her. Rey was far away but Ben could somehow feel that she was thinking of him with the same fervor.

The bond that united them was not only a rarity of the Force. It was also something physical and mental that danced between them even if they could not see each other, even if they were separated. Only when they were together did the Bond find harmony, a midway point between Light and Darkness, perfect balance.

The Bond they shared was something difficult to break or almost impossible to eliminate, and Ben was the living proof of that. Because even though he died, the connection was still there like an unhealed wound and that feeling of being half of something was what led Rey to him.

Ben thought with disgust that the first connections between them were the work of Snoke, although they continued after his death. To be honest, it was the only thing he could thank his former Master for.

When he later discovered that together they formed a unique kind of Force connection, a dyad, it all made more sense to him.

Too bad he had squandered a whole year between Crait and Pasaana chasing after Rey, because he could have used their connections to try something different instead of driving her away.

_So much time wasted._

But it was no use lamenting the past, he had to concentrate on what he was doing now to have a future with her. Besides, nobody could have changed his mind; he was blinded by power and resentment. Ben couldn't help but think about the alternatives when the only thing that remained constant in his life was the desire to have Rey by his side.

_Well, now he had a chance to do that in the best possible way._

He could try, he could generate a connection with Rey to see her one more time, if only for a moment, and hopefully talk to her and say that he would soon come back and be with her.

During the conversation with his father Ben discovered that he could create some kind of bridge with Rey through meditation or sleep. But it was all very relative and he had no idea how to do it. Everything could go quite wrong. He could end up anywhere or worse.

However, he had to try. _He needed to understand._

Ben concentrated on the meditation, sitting on the cold metal floor of the ship. He closed his eyes and let the Force flow through him.

But the minutes passed and he achieved nothing. It was ironic that the first time he tried to use his gifts for something good, the Force turned its back on him. But he would not drown in despair.

He created a mental image of Rey, of the things he loved about her, of her light and her strength. He thought of her hazel eyes, her breathtaking smile, and her three bows of brown hair. And it worked.

Soon he felt flooded with white energy and plunged into deep meditation. His body peeled off the ground a few inches but she was barely aware of that when other visions came into his now totally clear and open mind.

He imagined that the path he was now about to take was the opposite of the one she had taken days before to reach him. He was aware that he could not really be there, that there would be a part of him left on the ship, sleeping. He knew it was a partial solution, but the desire to see her again was greater.

The imageries he saw were views of different versions of him and the Rey, as if they were windows or doors to other worlds. The results were always different, ever-changing, like the reflection of a fragmented mirror, in which the only thing that was repeated to infinity was the presence of her or him, together or separately, but always linked.

Ben had studied hard for years, knew the ways of the Jedi and the Sith, but was not prepared for what his eyes saw. He needed to investigate further, but the maelstrom was dragging him down and he did not want to turn back until he got something, no matter how small.

The barrage of images saddened him, made him happy, moved him or made him angry and he was on the verge of not being able to differentiate between meditation and delirium. Some doors invited him to enter but he had to resist and concentrate, ignore them to reach the only one that really interested him.

Then, almost like a light at the end of a long and very dark corridor, the sweet voice of _his Rey_ came to him along with that of others, among whom he could recognize as her friends. He clung to that glow and followed it mentally and physically until he could see and hear more clearly.

Ben didn't know the place personally, but he knew it was Luke's childhood home, Lars' homestead on Tatooine.

In the room Poe Dameron and the one he recognized as the stormtrooper Rey called Finn, were arguing heatedly. Ben felt the pilot's itches of hate and was sure they were arguing about him. His partner seemed distracted, as if trying to get his thoughts in order, and then turned in Ben's direction, as if able to look him directly in the eye.

_Could he see him?_

Rey stood to one side, next to the one he remembered as Rose Tico, a Resistence technician who had worked with Rey on the _Falcon's_ parts only a couple of days earlier. But in that world she seemed to be very close to Rey, as were all the people who were with her at that time.

In her lap she held the famous Jedi texts that she looked at with a blank stare.

He couldn't resist the urge to reach out and touch Rey on the shoulder, as he tried calling her out but she didn't seem to hear him. But his fingers found a kind of barrier, an invisible wall that pushed him back violently, with the impact of an blast.

The vision vanished instantly and Ben fell to the ground with a crash, hitting himself a little. The thud alerted Chewie, who helped him up and carried him to the chair.

Ben thanked him with a dry throat and a completely tense body. He felt weak and frustrated because he had come so close. He didn't even know if Rey would have noticed.

The experience turned out to be intense, more than he could admit and quite exhausting. He would try again when he regained some of his energy and got more explanation about the phenomenon.

He was sure of only one thing. Rey had not lied to him, it was all _insanely_ true.

He rushed to throw himself in that way and with so little information. It was a mystery, after all, how Rey had managed it, or perhaps she was much more powerful than he was. But the lesson served as a warning that the two would have to meet halfway. Or she would have to release him

For now, it was all just guesswork.

* * *

Finding the route to Luke was easy after all that. At least some things were going well and the fickle Force was finally working with Ben.

Han and Chewie stayed behind not to interfere, as they would catch up with Luke later.

Ben walked up the seemingly endless stone stairs in pairs. This journey was pushing him to the limit in every way possible, testing his patience and anxiety as well. He vaguely noticed some small, round birds with big eyes that reminded him remotely of Rey. Or had he seen them before? Perhaps they were memories of her. He no longer knew.

\- _Ben?_ What are you doing here?

His uncle's familiar voice brought him out of his confusion and hit him hard. He felt the memories taking over, the hatred overflowing into him along with the anger and contempt he felt for Luke, were the feelings he had experienced as Kylo Ren.

_“- Have you come back to say you forgive me? To save my soul, like my father?_

_-No.”_

He cleared up those thoughts with difficulty, the past was not going to make things easier for him today, and perhaps never. But those emotions no longer served him, he no longer felt them. He didn't need them. He remembered that he and Luke had not been very close in this world either, but he owed him a great deal because at best his uncle had been his protector against the Dark Side.

Luke sensed the change in his emotions and kept his distance. He noticed that the Force surrounded him but the darkness in him was surrounded by much Light, as if he were making a great effort to find balance. It seemed that he had found a way to overcome his destiny. But he was there for another reason. What could it be?

The person in front of him, his nephew, seemed somehow different than the one he had known and had not seen for years. But it was Ben, no doubt, and he was facing some kind of desperate struggle against something bigger than himself and his darkness.

He would find out soon enough.

* * *

Inside Luke's hut, Ben explained as best he could and in a nutshell what was going on. But it was too much information, all so hard to believe.

He decided, as Rey had done on Hoth, that it was best to show him what was inside his head. He wouldn't hide anything from him because only Luke could he help them.

_That's what he hoped._

Luke reached out his hand and closed his eyes to enter his mind. Ben noticed that his face was filled with expressions of horror and anguish, but also of peace. At times a little guilt and something he could tell as pride. 

When it was all over, Luke opened his eyes wide, startled, and marveled.

_Truly terrified._

He was breathing a little shakily and his hands were trembling.

Without taking his eyes off Ben, he stepped aside and sat down on a drawer and leaned his back against the stone wall, trying to recover and assimilate the information little by little.

He saw too much death, including his own, too much chaos and despair, so much suffering. But he also saw light, saw Rey, and immediately remembered his fallen apprentice, Kira. He couldn't be sure they were the same person, but they were connected somehow. Just as her nephew, whom she thought she knew so far, was connected to an opposite, dark version.

Luke understood that these were two divergent worlds, in which both Ben and the young woman had their counterweights, their opposite sides to balance each other.

The Jedi's restlessness took over as he realized that his entire existence was just one among many others, lost among millions of possible realities that should never come close. In some ways he knew that the threads of the Force stretched out in all directions, even in ways that even someone like him could not imagine. But being able to understand it and seeing it personally, were very different things.

And there was Ben, who didn't belong there, who someone or something had thrown into that world to live another life, saving him from dying, to live forever in a world between worlds, never aging, until someone came looking for him. How could he not feel sorry for him?

Ben was stuck there, maybe as a second chance, but Luke suspected that the real reason was his complete redemption. He couldn't get out, but Rey had managed to get to him and go back without difficulty. She was the person who could bring him back to his own world.

-I'll help you, Ben. -he said, when he was able to regain his speech. -But you must be careful. This is far beyond my abilities or any Jedi's. This, - I hate to admit it - needs skills from the Dark side you possess as well, I mean, Kylo Ren had...

\- What do I have to do?

-It's not that simple, I need to think about all this. - Luke sighed in resignation. -the fact that you're here is incredible. I don't understand how your mind didn't collapse when mine almost did.

-I had a little help. -Ben thought of Rey tenderly.

-This island is the key. Rey knows it too. I've seen it in your memories, I mean, in her memories inside your head... This is terribly difficult to explain! -Luke got up suddenly and started walking back and forth. -You must bring Rey, she's already been here.

Ben started to nod his head.

-No. -I won't risk her life like that. She could be trapped somewhere else!

-It's the only way I can think of. She must enter the World Between Worlds and one of the points of vergence is here. The shrine's concentration of Light Force has its counterpart in the cave below.

_Powerful light, powerful darkness._

\- And what happens if she manages to get in? How can you be sure that she will find her way here, to this reality? How will we manage to get out?

-Too many questions, kid. You must summon her first, and I promise to help you later. There are things I must do first!

Luke was on the brink of a nervous breakdown but Ben knew he wasn't going to leave him. He owed him that, after all.

-I've tried before without success.

-You did wrong then.

Ben was pricked by the observation but held back from answering.

\- What did I do wrong?

Luke turned in his direction and spoke carefully.

-I'm not surprised you failed, you threw yourself into the void without proof. -It's a miracle you're still in one piece! You should be more attentive. -Luke offered him a disapproving look but then changed his tone. -Although I understand how you feel.

\- You do? -Ben spat out the words with no disguised irony. Luke gave him a sullen look.

-Remember you are not in the same world, you two. Although you can take advantage of the Force energy and balance of the island. You must have something that links you to it, some object from its reality and another from yours. The bridge has two directions, Ben. There has to be balance.

_Of course._ _The_ _famed black shirt that Rey never abandoned._

Ben got up suddenly and ran towards the _Falcon_ , almost flying down the steps.

He had to dodge a porg that crossed his path dangerously.

_All right, some of her reality and some of mine._

_This is definitely gonna get her attention._

* * *

On Tatooine everyone was for a moment surprised by the abrupt entry of the winged creature. The porg screamed in clear discontent at being thrown away from its beloved home, with an annoying, pitiful noise.

Poe and Finn instantly stopped arguing and looked accusingly at Rose.

\- Rose, did one of your vermin get away again?

The young woman did not remember bringing any of her porgs on the ship, as she had a habit of sheltering them there and even naming them. Nor did she recognize the one that had just entered, something was certainly not right. The creature was far, far away from its home.

-No, I don't know this one. Poor thing, he must be lost!

Finn made sure to hold him down before he hurt himself or broke anything in the house. The bulging eyes seemed bigger and sadder than ever, and if he could have spoken he would have complained of the mistreatment he was being subjected to.

-Don't tell me he came out of nowhere. -What's he doing here?

Rey frowned and stood up quickly, prey to intuition. Something was wrong, and he could feel the presence of the Force in the animal. The more she thought about it, the more she became convinced that its presence was some sort of message to her.

_A message that could only be from Ben._

She left the house to look for more clues, even though she was actually hoping to find him.

Then she saw a few feet from the entrance, half buried in the sand and almost hidden in the dark, something she had not seen before, something that would go unnoticed by everyone until the next day. But not to her: _Ben's shirt._

She couldn't explain how, but she knew that the porg and the shirt were related so she knelt down to take it, with a hint of hope in her heart.

As he touched it he felt a familiar buzzing sound that echoed in his head and forced him to look up.

_He was there._

Rey could see him clearly even at night and in the shadows, as if he were really there. But was it real? She approached cautiously, slowly, afraid that he would disappear or be just a figment of her imagination. He was sitting, his eyes were closed, and he seemed to be meditating with great concentration and effort.

Then he perceived the presence of Rey who was approaching, opened his eyes and stood up suddenly, although with signs of evident tiredness that did not go unnoticed by Rey. Although he felt fear after his last and failed attempt to create a connection with her, this time the results were as desired.

He had finally managed to capture her attention, to be close to her, _to see her again._

Ben's radiant smile cleared away any of Rey's fears, and the young woman walked the last few yards between him and the race, pouncing on him with enthusiasm and joy. He staggered back a little but managed to keep his balance as he returned her embrace, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath to fill himself with the scent of her hair.

Long seconds passed and Rey didn't seem to want to let go because she could feel Ben's anguish overflowing into his chest. His warmth made her forget for a second that she was not so lucky lately that she thought things would turn out so well. There was still a way to go before they could be together.

\- Are you really here? _Are you back_? -she asked, clinging to him, not wanting to let go of the embrace.

He shook his head sadly.

-Not yet, Rey. I'm sorry.

She moved away but not quite away and held his face with both hands while his hands found perfect attachment at her waist. Her heart turned in disappointment but it did not diminish in any way the happiness she felt at seeing him again.

-So, are you asleep somewhere?

-I am in Ahch-To, but I am not asleep, this is another kind of connection, like the ones we had before. Except I'm trying to control it. -Ben looked for her eyes in the darkness and held her in his arms as if she could suddenly disappear in front of his eyes. -But I don't know how long I can do that. -He wanted to prolong the moment as long as possible, even forever, if he was able to do that.

Rey nodded. It was just what she feared. But she would pay the price of sharing with him for as long as the Bond lasted, she would not let him go, and she was determined to stay with him, even if the Force suddenly decided to take him away.

Because he had found a way to her and Rey felt that they were very close to solving the riddle. She felt that he was different, more confident of what he had to do, _he felt like her Ben_ , the one who had disappeared in front of her eyes in Exegol.

\- Have you remembered... everything?

He smiled and nodded.

The words she had wanted to say to him since she left him, they stuck in her throat.

-Ben. There's so much I want to tell you... I was a coward, I shouldn't have come back...

He silenced her by placing a finger gently on her lips.

-Don't say that, you were braver than you think. -His finger followed the line of her cheek up to remove a tear caught in her eyelashes. -I don't want to live in a world where you're not, as perfect as it may be for me. I can't change anything that happened, and that's why I needed to make sure you accept me despite everything, despite the damage I did to you.

Because she wanted to keep protesting and blaming herself for leaving him, Ben caught her lips in a tender kiss that surprised and took her breath away. She abandoned herself to the embrace and all the strength she had gathered to face her friends faded away, leaving her vulnerable in front of him.

Ben placed a hand on the base of her neck to bring her closer. She was overwhelming to him. He knew he had to stop because he didn't have much time, he had to tell her that Luke could help them and that she had to go to Ahch-To.

_But he couldn't stop kissing her. He didn't want to._

In a matter of seconds he remembered all the times he had wanted to kiss her, hold her in his arms, protect her and love her. He remembered being miserable and angry every time she rejected him, but he understood that her goodness and purity would never allow him to accept him under those circumstances.

With great effort he joined fragments of his past as Kylo Ren along with the most recent memories and allowed himself to add the fantasy of having lived a whole life as Ben Solo, the one who never succumbed to the Dark side.

It all ended and began with Rey: the young Jedi, the scavenger, the savior, the girl from Jakku, the symbol of hope, the heiress of Palpatine, his other half, his dyad.

_Just Rey_.

Rey gave herself to the kiss completely. Doubts had long since abandoned her and she needed to be sure that after so much suffering, Ben would always be by her side. She wanted to believe that it was not out of selfishness that neither of them owed anyone anything because they had already sacrificed too much and deserved to be together.

She accepted him as he was, imperfect and cracked; because she knew his soul in depth and she linked it to something deeper than the Force Bond they shared.

In all lives she would seek him out, in all possible worlds, and she would not rest until she recovered him. Because he was the beginning of their happy ending: Luke's padawan, Snoke's apprentice, Vader's heir, Han and Leia's son, Kylo of the Knights of Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order, the Ben who found his way home.

_Just Ben_

\- Rey! Where are you? -Rose's cry for her brought them back to reality immediately. Although only Rey heard her, as Ben could not see her surroundings. Or could he now?

\- I’m fine! -Rey shouted in a trembling voice to keep his friend from coming, just as a precaution. She wasn't sure yet how others would take Ben's presence, and she didn't feel like explaining to them what she had been doing with him for the last few minutes. In a whisper she turned to Ben - Hide!

\- Why? Are you afraid to be seen? -even in the most extreme situations, he couldn't help but provoke her and was still encouraged by the moment they had shared. -I remind you that they can't see me and I can't see them.

\- They're not ready to accept it yet, Finn and Rose maybe, but Poe...

-Don't worry, there's no possible world in which we can get along. -Ben shrugged.

Rose appeared beside her at the very moment when Ben was leaving Rey. She was agitated and worried.

\- What is it, Rose?

-It's the porg. -I can't find it! This whole business is very strange, Rey. Do you think it has anything to do with those _dyad_ thing you told us about…? Oh! - Rose looked at Rey's lips and blushing cheeks in the moonlight and was discreet enough not to say anything, but she understood what was happening. She cleared her throat and added as she walked away, -You know, I don't think I looked for him properly, maybe he went into the kitchen!

Ben felt Rey's shoulders relax.

-I told you, she didn't see me!

-She didn't have to, believe me. -Rey gave him an accusing look, but then he took a serious tone. - What happened to the porg?

-Same thing that's going to happen to me soon. But listen, Rey,- he intertwined his fingers with hers as he saw fear and doubt invade her eyes. -We'll be fine, I'll be waiting for you in Ahch-To and we'll get through this together. -Okay?

She nodded, confident that it would be so.

\- What should I do?

-When you get there, try to find me and make a connection with me. I'll explain everything later. Luke will help us.

\- The Luke of your reality or the Luke of mine? -Rey asked almost jokingly. But Ben seemed to think seriously.

-All sorts of help will come in handy, I guess. Although I don't think the ghosts of the Force want to get involved in an experiment that includes the Dark Side.

_But I couldn't let him go, not yet._

-Ben. Stay with me.

His eyes looked at her, imploring. He wished with all his strength that he could move himself through time and space, but he could not do so definitively.

Like the two parts of a whole, the Force was constantly pushing them, trying to achieve balance. That's why Rey had ended up in Hoth, that's why Ben was able to make contact with her. But as he did so, his own life energies diminished, his life was going away by just trying. 

Rey couldn't know that, he wanted to fulfill her wish, all of them, however dangerous they were.

-Always.

And they stayed in each other's arms, huddled and happy, until the connection was broken.

Rey looked into the empty space where seconds before Ben had been with renewed hope and ready to achieve her goal. His black shirt was still there for some reason, as if he had left her a reminder of what to do.

-Ahch-To. Here we go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to warn you that I will soon be making some edits to the previous chapters, I will actually remove the quotes in the dialogues and replace them with hyphens. So if you get repeated notifications, don't worry that it's for this reason.
> 
> There are very few chapters left and I've been helped by the World Between Worlds theories that you've gathered on Twitter @OutletFangirl
> 
> I hope it all starts to make sense. When I started writing a couple of months ago I had a very clear idea in my mind that Ben was trapped in another reality and Rey was going to go looking for him. But as it usually happens, the story took on a life of its own and many more things came up. Now it's time for them to have their happy ending.
> 
> I know that there are moments of anguish, in fact they affect me as I write. But first of all I want to preserve the feeling of love between them, which has come from understanding and accepting their defects and virtues.
> 
> Comments are welcome, as always. You can also find me on twitter as @luubamoon
> 
> Eternal thanks to you for joining me!


	12. Ghost Love Score

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Bring me home or leave me be  
> My love in the dark heart of the night  
> I have lost the path before me  
> the one behind will lead me"
> 
> Nightwish - Ghost Love Score - Once

Rey knew that the end was near and that everything would end well. Ben had brought hope to her heart and there was nothing left of the sadness of before. She would go to find him, follow whatever directions he and Luke could give her and come back to start a life together.

It wasn't going to be easy, Kira had already anticipated it just a day before, even though it seemed like years had passed since that happened. Of course she was afraid of failure, she did not know what lay ahead, but she trusted Ben blindly and the Bond between them was closer than ever. There was no time to lose, there were no alternatives.

But as she walked back to Lars' homestead, where her friends were waiting for her, her excitement diminished a little. She still had a lot of explaining to do, and they had to resolve Ben's situation when she returned.

The worst thing would not be finding him, but what if her friends didn't accept her decision? Rey had not abandoned them, even when Ben offered his hand the first time at the _Supremacy_ and then at Kijimi. She had not been able to turn her back on them before and felt guilty about what she was going to do. But she was only leaving them behind for a moment to seek her own happiness and get Ben back.

She took a deep breath and resumed her steps.

Everyone in the room was talking more quietly, the porg episode was already an anecdote and all eyes turned to Rey when she finally spoke.

“I shall leave for Ahch-To as soon as possible.” Rey took courage. “I'm going to bring Ben back.”

She explained briefly about her last conversation with him, omitting the personal details that only Rose could guess when Rey blushed. Her complicit gaze gave her encouragement and reassurance, and everything turned out to be simpler than she had imagined. Rose showed her unconditional support by putting a hand on her shoulder, a gesture that Rey thanked genuinely. Finn and Poe were silent for a few moments but did not try to change her mind.

“We will help you, Rey. We'll come with you.” Finn came up to him and gave her his blessing. “We would never let you do it alone.”

“Finn and I will take you to the island and wait for you at the _Falcon_. I have no doubt you'll make it.” Rose seconded her friend's offer.

Poe was still sitting on his hands, but he surprised Rey by agreeing as well, with a resigned sigh.

“I will do my best to see that he is not harshly judged. Unless neither of us actually returns.”

“What do you mean? We're coming back.” she looked at him warily.

“Of course you will, but the galaxy doesn't have to know. Maybe it's best if you two just lay low for a while until things calm down a bit.”

“And how long will that be?” Rey couldn't believe what her friend was suggesting.

“I don't know...” Poe looked tired. “We'll keep in touch with you through secure channels. That's all I can think of for now. Sorry, Rey.”

Poe was making a huge effort to apologize, in his own way. It wasn't going to be easy for anyone, but everyone loved Rey and was tired of fighting. It was time to start again and in peace, even if it meant making some concessions.

Since the fall of Palpatine the galaxy was slowly recovering but there was still a long way to go before a new order was established, it could take many years before everything returned to normal and the wound would remain open for a while. Everyone knew, even if they did not say it aloud, that a new enemy might appear from the ashes of the Final Order and they needed to be united to prevent it.

And in betraying his own, Ben had enemies on both sides. No one would easily accept the fact that he was the true hero of the story.

“I understand that.” Rey nodded, moved by his words. “We'll work it out later, but I'll take your suggestion under advisement. Ben and I will need the help of all of you.”

“Good! I'll find a nest for the lovebirds.” Poe suddenly cheered up and added almost jokingly. “Any preferences?”

Rey loosened the tension in her shoulders and the gloom left the place thanks to the sincere affection of her friends.

“Just try not to make it such a sandy place. I think I have had enough for two or three lifetimes.”

Rey considered the possibilities he would have with Ben if she could bring him back. She was willing to protect him from everything, even from himself. The adventures of those last days had given her great wisdom, and now she allowed herself to question some things she had not dared to discuss before.

Light and Darkness, two aspects of the Force that gave it full entity, two opposing powers yet so necessary to achieve balance. The path of descent to the Dark Side had not been easy for Ben, and the path of ascent to the Light was more difficult. Rey could not avoid the former, but would stand beside him to ensure the success of the latter.

After all, neither side had completely what they needed. They still had much to discover, much knowledge to find. They would do it together, like everything they had done so far. From now on, she would not follow codes. She would not bear the burden of the legacy that had made unforgivable mistakes in the name of the Light.

She could no longer take seriously the idea of being a Jedi, at least not under the pressures the Order demanded. She could not live without loving or believing that love was a forbidden feeling that would lead her into darkness. Many things would have to be revised in the future, she could even prove that there were things worth loving and giving oneself for. She felt that way about Ben, and the temptation of the Dark Side was no longer a threat because she felt complete with him.

Rey wanted to be herself, Rey of nowhere. A nobody.

She wanted to be everything, for him.

* * *

Ben opened his eyes as the connection with Rey was over and the cold wind of Ahch-To welcomed him to remind him that there was still a little more to come before they could truly meet.

Making the last connection had demanded too much of his life Force and he felt very tired, so much so that he had to sit down to catch his breath. It was very strange, it had never happened to him before, so he decided to take it easy.

He remembered the physical pain he felt on Exegol, as he climbed the cliff after being thrown into the pit by Palpatine. But no pain could compare to the feeling of not being able to perceive Rey, of not finding her presence in the Force, of knowing that she was dead.

If he had to go through all that to be with her again, he would gladly do so. But he could not die again or it would all be in vain.

When would Rey arrive? How would you establish the Bond? He still had too many questions to ask Luke. Something told him he was running out of time.

He found his father and Chewie talking to Luke and an uncomfortable, disturbing thought grew inside his mind. What would happen to them when he left them? Would they forget him as they had erased the existence of Rey? What would happen to his mother, the Resistance and the First Order?

Was it right to leave them behind? After all, that was his reality too. He couldn't explain how, but Ben felt that his life there had been as real as the one before, a real learning experience, a second chance. He didn't know who was behind it all or what his motivation was, but he was soon to find out.

He looked at his grandfather's lightsaber that he always carried in his belt, the weapon he had refused to use. Just to prove a point, he turned it on and was relieved to see the blue glow of the kyber. It did not erase his past mistakes like Kylo Ren, nor the crimes he had committed in the name of the Darkness. Nor did it make him a defender of the side of the Light. But for Ben it was a kind of symbol that nothing would be like it was before and he had a chance to do the right thing.

The future did not present itself as a simple picture; he could not imagine any scenario in which he would be welcomed back to life, except by Rey and her trust in him. But she had her friends and Ben would do whatever was necessary to make her happy. He was willing to help and was not afraid.

He thought of his mother on board the _Raddus_ , the day he almost shot her from his TIE. At that moment he had the chance to kill her but he couldn't do it, because he felt that Leia was thinking of him and was forgiving him, all he wanted was for him to come home. But Ben had committed an unforgivable crime and did not accept the peace offering, he did not deserve it then.

He also remembered having felt Leia's death during the fight with Rey in Kef Bir, and her thoughts that were always with him, trying to get him to come back, even in those last moments of life.

_No one’s ever really gone._

Ben was the proof of these words because something or someone was reluctant to let him go.

And he was grateful for that.

Luke interrupted his reflections and indicated that he should go with him. Judging by his uncle's face, he had good news. Together they walked to the island's library inside the trunk of a _uneti tree_ , where the books that Rey was looking for when they first met on Hoth were kept in perfect condition.

“These," said the Jedi, pointing to the volumes, "are the key to your return. _Aionomica_ and _Rammahgon_.” He opened one of them and pointed to some inscriptions. “Here is evidence of what has happened to you, Ben.”

“Earlier you said that the island is a nexus of the World Between Worlds, and that the mirror cave beneath the island is a vergence scatter of the Force.

“That's right! The cave is also a portal. Don't you understand?” Luke was excited. Ben listened to him carefully. “This confirms my theories. If Rey has these books too, she may not be able to translate them, so you must explain to her what she has to do.”

Ben nodded and Luke continued with his explanation.

“The World Between Worlds is a mystical plane of the Force, the place where all the paths of reality converge, all the moments between time and space. It is as if everything is connected by threads, what happens in each one seems to be unrelated but, in fact, it is.” Luke paused briefly and looked at Ben with a growing panic in his eyes. “Right now you are on one of them, by the will of the Force or some other reason, I am not sure. The truth is that you do not belong here, it is as if this place was created for you.”

“Is that how Rey found me?”

“Maybe, maybe not. If you're a dyad, it's likely the Force pushed him towards you. She would find you sooner or later.”

“But I've died in her reality, how am I supposed to stay alive here? What will happen to all this if I leave?” Ben pointed to his surroundings. “What will happen to you?”

Luke sighed.

“This world will probably disappear when you leave and we go with it. But you shouldn't worry about that now.”

“You mean none of this was real?”

“It was real for you, Ben. And that's all that matters.”

Ben was confused and scared. He finally got some answers and he didn't like them.

“What if I decide to stay? What if Rey can't find me?”

Luke looked at him apprehensively.

“Why would you want to stay? You won't be able to convince Rey to stay here, if that's what you're thinking. She will not abandon her friends.”

“I didn't mean that.”

“Then what?” Luke looked around, it had been in his mind and he knew the story of his nephew in the reality of Rey. Softening his tone, he said “It's not possible, Ben. What's done is done. You can't have us all back even if you wanted to. But we'll be with you always, no doubt about it.”

Ben clenched his fists and tried to master his anguish _. It was what he deserved, after all_.

“Listen, kid. You must leave the past behind, a new life awaits you. And I wouldn't think about it so much if I were you. You've paid your debt to all of us.”

_Funny, that was Ben's favorite line._

* * *

When the three friends arrived on the island of Ahch-To, the day was just beginning. Everything was just like the last time Rey was there: the water of the ocean crashing violently against the rocky cliffs, the humid air and the pleasant feeling of the warm sun, even the porgs that were still alien to the tribulations of the eventual visitors.

Even the charred remains of Ben's TIE, which Rey borrowed from Kef Bir, were still there and she could have sworn she still heard the sound of the flames consuming it. But it was her imagination and feelings that the sight of the ship awakened in her. It occurred to her that she might have stayed with Ben to go and defeat Palpatine together instead of doing what she did. But it was no use thinking about it now, she could no longer change the past.

It would be completely crazy to think that Ben was in the same place as her, but in another reality. But it wasn't and he was waiting for her, so she decided to hurry and get help.

But something worried her because everything was the same except for one thing: there was no trace of Luke anywhere.

Rey found this very strange and puzzling. It occurred to her that it might be some kind of punishment for refusing to join the Jedi Order or for the doubts she had about his conditions. But the Force wasn't as subjective as people, maybe Luke just didn't want to help her after all.

At least the Rey would have liked an answer, a sermon, a scolding from him. Something that wouldn't make her feel any less alone on the abandoned island.

_“Rey.”_

The sound of a voice he would recognize anywhere in the galaxy, froze Rey in place.

_Was it his imagination or was Leia really talking to her?_

Finally, the ghost of her Master appeared in front of her just like the last time when she buried the swords on Tatooine. On her face were many emotions of joy but also of worry and hurry.

“Master?” Rey turned to meet her.

“I'm glad you came, Rey. I knew you'd make it.” The soft tone of her voice reassured Rey.

“You knew I would come?”

“I wanted you to, but I was forbidden to tell you. You're just in time and we don't have much left.”

“What do you mean?”

“Only you can do it, Rey. Only you can get my son back.”

“I will, but tell me how.”

“There are a few things you should know first. Are you willing to risk your life for Ben?”

“Till my last breath.” Rey said it without hesitation.

Leia smiled contentedly.

“I hope that won't be necessary, but I like your enthusiasm.” She pointed to a flat stone and invited Rey to sit down, and she did the same. “As you know, my last breath in life was for Ben. But before I became part of the Force I made a deal to keep him from dying.”

“But he vanished before my eyes. I know he's alive, I don't understand how.”

“You can feel it and you've never stopped because of the connection you share.”

“How did you know about that?”

“The Force wielders told me, but I suspected it.” Leia looked at Rey raising her eyebrows. “They needed to restore the balance and if Ben died, his other half would be incomplete, risking leaning to the Dark Side for not being able to accept the disappearance of his dyad. So Ben would have to stay in the void forever, until you died too.”

“That's terrible.”

“I know.”

Rey tried to process the information without being shocked. Leia continued.

“Ben is trapped in the World Between Worlds, he's been there since he sacrificed himself for you. The agreement was that he would have more time, he would know a different life than the one he had, but his time is limited. In return he would lose all his memories unless someone went to look for him, to rescue him.” Leia shrugged. “A kind of purgatory. I had no choice. But I trusted that the Bond you shared would keep him from dying, I trusted that you would be his savior, as you always were. It seemed unfair that his new life should end just before it began, just when you met. “

* * *

Ben didn't have to wait long before he could see Rey materialize in front of him again. She had a triumphant and confident smile, which greatly lessened his fears.

A warm emotion lodged in his heart and spread throughout his body as she began to walk toward him. The daylight and the cloudless sky were a reflection of what their souls felt, a strong and clear emotion that coordinated their hearts into one beat.

Suddenly he felt optimistic. Perhaps it was the eyes of Rey that looked at him as if he were a treasure, perhaps it was her gestures of love for him or what she was risking to get him back, perhaps it was the tone she used to speak to him and the words of encouragement she projected into his mind.

_Ben would have the rest of his life to find out._

When he reached out his hand and she took it without hesitation, they both relived the visions they shared in that same place, long ago. The touch of Rey's skin flooded his senses despite being hundreds of worlds away.

_When his hands met on that connection, the impact was like touching a power line. Rey knew then that Ben would not bow down to Snoke and that she would help him defeat him, that there was still Light in him. Ben saw something else, Rey turning to the Dark Side with him and the truth about his parents._

_But now, more than a year later, the seemingly divergent visions came together in a single shared image. Every step they took led up to this moment, and the two of them had a clear picture of the future._

_The images left Rey breathless._

_But Ben had seen them before, that day in the cabin._

_A family, a home, a green planet, balance, no Light or Dark. The certainty that they were masters of their destinies and owed nothing to anyone._

Rey was thrilled to think that they would soon be together for real. But for the moment, the tender embrace of welcome they shared was a good compensation for the anxiety. She couldn't imagine any other place in the galaxy where she could be happier than in Ben's arms.

“You never told me about your vision.” She murmured beside him in fascination. “Why?”

Ben couldn't help but smile.

“I tried to, several times, in fact. In the throne room and at Kef Bir. But apparently I'm very bad with my choice of words.”

“In Kijimi too?” Rey let out a laugh and Ben rolled his eyes.

“Don't remind me. It's a miracle you still love me after all.” 

Everything was perfect, almost perfect. But both still had work to do.

“Listen, Ben” Rey broke away from him to talk to him seriously. “We don't have much time, I must get you out of wherever you are and soon.”

Rey explained the meeting with his mother, and Ben shared with her what Luke had told him about the World Between Worlds. He hated waiting around doing nothing, but if what Rey said was true, he couldn't get through the door of the cave of mirrors without help. So she would have to be the one to go in. 

Rey didn't want to cut the connection, but she had to. She looked at Ben for the last time and kissed him tenderly, promising that when they saw each other again nothing would separate them.

But he was reluctant to let go of her hand as the fears and voices in his mind whispered that she would not return, that it was not right for her to risk her life for his. Perhaps on the way to the World Between Worlds Rey would see again all the mistakes he had made and regret her decision. Perhaps it was best for everyone if he stayed there, as Poe thought, so that he would not harm anyone, least of all her.

Rey listened to his thoughts and tried to calm him down.

“Ben. I know who you are and I know who you want to be. You know we can't stay here and I'm not going to abandon you, no matter what. Your place is by my side.”

“But, Rey...“

“Didn't you say you'd come back for me?” She interrupted his replies and added, interlacing her fingers with his. "You were by my side; I listened to you for years. I did not know then, but now I am sure it was your voice.”

“What...?”

And with an enigmatic smile, Rey released his hand and stepped back, disappearing from his sight.

Ben extended his hand impulsively into the void, but his fingers closed on themselves. Suddenly he remembered.

The girl he had seen in dreams for years, dreams he forgot at dawn.

He remembered the girl's nightmares about her parents leaving her in the middle of nowhere and the extreme sadness of feeling alone. She remembered his own nightmares, the panic he felt about not being able to get rid of the voices he also heard during the day.

They were always a dyad, after all. _Two souls that are one._

Now Ben understood everything. The Bond between them was older than he thought, the Force connected them without them understanding why. Because in those dreams of his youth, Ben would sit close to the girl and stay with her, trying to bring her peace so she could dream, gently repeating the same words he had heard somewhere and at some point before.

_I'll come back for you, sweetheart, I promise._

He was not sure why he was doing this, but as he stood with her the voices in his mind stopped. Maybe he wanted to fulfill his promise but did not know how and everything faded away when he woke up, he forgot everything.

But the girl grew up listening to his words of encouragement, got used to his cooing voice and recorded with thrust each syllable in her heart to face her reality that was difficult, perhaps worse than her nightmares.

They were linked beyond time and space, beyond the World Between Worlds. If Rey was able, as a child, to feel the exact moment of Ben's fall, why shouldn't she also be able to feel that he was alive when everyone thought he was dead?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The WBW theory is based on the great Gab's research [OutletFangirl](https://twitter.com/OutletFangirl)  
> Here's a link to the thread with more theories  
> [on twitter](https://twitter.com/OutletFangirl/status/1255699232712994816)  
> Leia is talking about [The Force Wielders](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Force_wielder) who first appeared in Rebels. In the next chapter I'll try to show you my version of the WBW, but I wanted to share with you the source that I based it on.  
>    
> Thank you for reading! Meet me [on twitter](https://twitter.com/luubamoon)


	13. Astral Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Embroidery of the stars  
>  Undress my feelings for this earth  
> Send me your salva to heal my scars  
> And let this nakedness me my birth_
> 
> _Macrocosm poured its powers on me  
>  And the hopes of this world I now must leave  
> The nightwish I sent you centuries ago  
> Has been heard by those  
> Who dwelled in a woe"_
> 
> Nightwish - Astral Romance (Remake 2001)

When Ben disappeared before her eyes, Rey knew that would be their last connection. She didn't have much time left, and even if she had that element in her favor, the anxiety of getting him back was all she could think about. The next time she took his hand, the next time she kissed him, nothing would come between them.

She also wondered if her feelings or his would change as she walked through the portal, what would she find there? She suspected that getting lost in a maze of worlds was not the greatest danger, so she had to concentrate and stay focused on her purpose. She could not afford to hesitate at a time like that, when a new part of the story was about to begin.

Rey did not have until that moment to stop and think about what would happen next, she saw it as something distant and changing, but now she was sure of the direction she wanted to go. Since her adventure began, perhaps months before Ben disappeared in her arms at Exegol, she had experienced many new sensations and a small part of her mind could not help but whisper with malice that it was all part of a larger illusion.

New questions appeared as others began to be answered. The edges of that future were no longer blurred; they were starting to define themselves as well, thanks to the vision Ben shared with her. In spite of all that still lay ahead, Rey felt happy and complete.

She allowed herself to dream, as she did when she was a child and imagined that she was leaving Jakku in one of those ships that she looked at with longing, thinking that her parents would return for her. And this time she felt no pain, because Ben was real and was waiting for her.

She drew in her mind her beloved’s face and her pulse quickened. She shuddered at the thought of the shared kisses, at the passion they could barely contain and she couldn’t go beyond that because she wished everything was unexpected and new between them. Rey wanted a family like the one he had shown her before, but she hated to think that she had to fulfill a pre-established destiny again.

After all, they had so much to learn from each other. With the little time they shared even in that other reality, she had only a brief glimpse of the life he might have had. But she knew the basics and learned to love him in his true complexity. Rey knew that some battles were not won once the war was over and had to be fought every day, but she was willing to do so because what she wanted was peace.

She wondered if once it was over, Ben would still choose her and she wanted not only his gratitude but his love and respect. Maybe it was obvious, maybe she shouldn't waste time thinking about these things, so she wouldn't stop showing him and wouldn't waste a second thinking about the past. Before them they had their whole lives to make up for the suffering and a lot of time to get to know each other and get used to it.

To get there, the mission had to be successful and certainly Rey was sure to achieve this while accelerating the pace with her heart beating at full speed.

If she didn't flinch at what she might find in the World Between Worlds, why would she be afraid of her own emotions? They would still be linked, and it would always be that way, so she was sure Ben would feel the same way she did.

Thinking about all this, she started to go down the side of one of the mountains of the island following the call of the cave, just like the last time she was there.

More than a year earlier her feelings were far from the present, but Rey had to admit that in the end was where it all began. Ben accompanied her during her experience in the cave, not in person but through the Bond. She confided her story to him and he was the one who listened attentively, understanding what was happening to her because he felt the same way.

She could not help but wonder what she would have done if, after reaching out and touching his hand across the galaxy, she had decided to join him in the throne room of the _Supremacy_. Many times she had questioned herself, with different alternatives. In some cases full of anger and in others of regret but she could not change any of that now.

Considering what Ben saw during that bond, yes, she would have accepted it without hesitation because it was there that she began to believe in him. In fact, she would have accepted it even without knowing about the visions if she hadn't had to carry the weight of the Resistance's lives on her back. Because that day Rey met Ben, the real Ben under the mask, the man who learned to love.

Almost at the edge of the cliff, the entrance to the cave looked deep and dark even though it was daytime. A cold breath like a burst of moisture that pierced her skin surrounded the place, but Rey ignored all that, and knowing that the impact of the icy water awaited her at last, she took a breath and leapt resolutely into the abyss.

With a noise that rumbled through the rocky walls, her body crashed into the water mirror, freezing intensely as she sank. Because it was not so deep, Rey propelled herself from the bottom to the surface and swam to the shore. It was curious that someone who had spent her entire life in a desert could swim, but like so many inexplicable things she now knew, she attributed it to the mysteries of the workings of the Force and his bond with Ben. Although it could well have been the adrenaline that was guiding her as she approached the great stone with precise strokes.

There was a small but persistent source of light that she did not notice last time. She assumed that the cave had more than one exit and it made a lot of sense because the ocean water that gathered there must have come from somewhere. Rey saved that detail for later, because she had no intention of climbing like the last time and she doubted that Ben would be amused by the memory of his nightmarish ascent in the Exegol pit.

There was the mirror, just as she remembered it. A smooth surface on the rock that barely reflected its outline as it approached. A chill that was not only due to the icy water ran down her back and instinctively she wrapped her own arms around it to keep warm.

What if, just like a year ago, she didn't find the answers she were looking for or received worse answers than she imagined?

No. This time she was going to succeed because in her mind there was a clear question and no room for anything else. The mirror would show her what she wanted to see with her own life. As if casting a spell, she spoke the words aloud.

_“Let me see him. Let me see Ben.”_

If Luke was right and the mirror was indeed a portal, Rey would have to find a way to activate it. She assumed that the hardest part would not be that part but the one that would follow, but she was wrong. She had absolutely no idea how to open it and that dampened her spirits a bit.

The mirror only returned the fuzzy image of her own disappointed face, but she wouldn't give up so easily.

Rey reached out and placed her hand against the icy flat surface. She felt nothing special, no sound, no familiar voice, no image was revealed to her. She waited a few moments without separating her hand and closed her eyes trying to concentrate, trying to remember if the ancient texts mentioned anything about the matter. Perhaps it didn’t function as a door in the traditional sense, perhaps she didn’t have to open it but rather transport herself to the other side, in a way that she was unaware of.

But even though she tried, nothing was happening. Was something blocking it?

Rey was truly enraged. What else did the Force want from her? If she had come this far, was it not clear that her will was strong? Did she not deserve to have Ben back?

She didn’t wish to indulge in such desperate and destabilizing emotions, but the memory of how helpless she felt there the last time came before her in all its harshness.

“I've never felt so alone.”

Rey pressed her forehead against the cold wall, closing her eyes again in frustration, and made a fist with her hand, though she did not make a gesture of hitting anything. Violence would not solve her situation, she had to calm down.

As she was absorbed in her thoughts, she didn't notice the wolf-shaped pictures of Lothal wolves around the mirror, which were not there before and were now spinning faster and faster in a perfect circle.

A tear slipped down her cheek and she fell to the ground making a rather abnormal noise, as if something heavy were hitting a container full of water. The sound alerted her that she was no longer in the cave, and when she finally opened her eyes, she got the confirmation.

She had finally entered the World Between Worlds.

* * *

Ben got on the move quickly after Rey closed the connection. He felt cold and a growing spiral of anguish, but was reassured that it was only temporary. The revelations that they had shared moments ago still echoed in his mind as a warm melody, a pure feeling of belonging. The certainty of being able to see that the nature of the Bond between them was even older than they both believed brought him peace and hope.

Because he had long suspected that their story had not begun that day in Takodana when he found the Rey filled with fear in the forest. Perhaps it was on that fateful day, when he took his final place among Ren's knights by becoming their leader, that some kind of connection began between them.

Many images were presented in his mind now, memories that were beginning to make sense. Like that time when he was just a boy and saw a woman with dark brown hair and light clothes, her face distorted with fright, at the end of the corridor of the house where he lived with his parents before going to Luke.

_Now he understood._

It was a vision of the future, a vision of Rey at the exact moment she found the lightsaber in Maz Kanata’s Castle.

He stopped abruptly as he followed the stone path to the Jedi village where his uncle was waiting, unable to hold back a tortured sigh. What else did he have yet to discover? Were their lives always going to be like that, marked by the whims of the Force? Did they have a way out?

While he was apprenticed to Luke and also in his dark years as an insatiable seeker of Sith knowledge, Ben learned about the existence of the dyads, a kind of bond that could be created spontaneously between two Force-sensitive beings, a rarity not seen in generations. That is why he told Rey in Kijimi, as soon as he discovered it, in the hope of obtaining an ally against Palpatine and also with other more selfish intentions. He regretted that the former had not happened as he had hoped, and reproached himself somewhat for the latter, but the current turn of events offered better prospects for both of them and there was nothing they could do to change the past.

Forgetting for the moment the delicate situation in which he found himself, he gave free rein to his mocking side and let out a brief laugh for no one in particular, making a sideways smile that was worthy of his father's. Ben thought that in spite of his chaotic life, he had the Force to thank for having given him an unbeatable companion as Rey, the perfect balance of the dyad, the woman he could not help falling in love with, because he could always have been touched by someone else, someone he really hated or for whom he felt no special affection.

It was impossible not to be attracted to her, because of her strength, her stubbornness.

_Oh, yes, especially that._

Nor was he blind to the Rey's physical charms, the way she moved when combating, the unique aroma and warmth of her lips on his, the way his senses went crazy when she was around, the sparks that flew from his eyes when he assured her he was fighting for him.

And with sadness he realized that in all his life he had never spent time creating that kind of bond with another human being, at least not the kind he wanted to have with her. He only hoped that his inexperience would not betray him and that the Rey's patience would be able to forgive him some mistakes he was sure he would make, because Ben had brought down entire planets in terror, but he had no idea how to behave in a romantic relationship. The most immediate example was his own parents and, except for a few small attitudes, no one knew better than he that it had not ended very well.

That he and Rey had been enemies in the past did not diminish the attraction they felt and that was not going to change now that they were on the same side, now that they were both walking the path to meet in the middle.

In a few days and thanks to Leia's sacrifice, a deep appreciation had developed between them and that was something Ben would not have dared to dream of in different circumstances but he wanted much more than that. Each of the kisses they shared then was reciprocated with fervor, eagerly awaited, and it was thanks to this that he knew that the affection they felt was not only due to the bond and that Rey felt more than just gratitude towards him.

Ben was now sure that he had felt under the spell of Rey from the moment he held her in his arms to take her to Starkiller and get information out of her. He was not particularly proud of what he did then or how he attacked her later, nor did he remember the rest of the events of that day without regret. At best they would mention the episode again some evening together as a distant anecdote to their children or avoid talking about it.

_Children?_

Suddenly he felt blood rushing to his ears and staining his face with blush.

Yes, that was part of the vision and until then he had not given it much importance, he had not considered it possible until he shared it with Rey and felt his heart filled with longing. She wanted a family. With him.

But what could he offer her if all he had was a complete inventory of terrible mistakes and bloody crimes? Even in that other life he was about to abandon, he had achieved nothing more deserving than to avoid falling to the Dark Side. What did the future hold? Would there really be a place for someone like him? Was it not better for both of them to remain there?

He felt his doubts return, and he could not stop the wave of anger that was sweeping through his body.

Would that be enough? Ben could never pretend that darkness no longer existed in his heart, but he was willing to accept it and fight it every day if it would make him happy and keep Rey at his side. The passion he felt for her, mixed in perfect harmony with other feelings of admiration and respect, overwhelmed him with its intensity but did not prevent him from seeing Rey as he really was, clearly. With faults and virtues, because they both had, although perhaps Ben's list was longer.

He made an effort to calm down, he did it for her. For Rey. He couldn't disappoint her right now, he'd have to be strong. He remembered the words she said to him until he felt that they calmed the fuss of anguish in his mind.

_We will do this together._

The two of them were trying to overcome everything to build something different. And even though the confession of love was implicit, they still had a lot to say to each other.

The kind of union they had was so mysterious that neither could pinpoint its origin, but neither could they deny that it was strong and that even after Ben's disappearance, it was still intact, vibrating between them like a taut cord that stretched out in space and time, but was never going to break.

But time was still running its course, even in that place where everything seemed to obey its own laws, and Ben feared that this cord might break if they did not hurry.

And what could he do but wait? Luke had explained to him before that he was trapped there, unable to get through to the other side, the real world, where the Rey was. At least not definitively and not without serious consequences. All he could do was meditate on where on the island the power of the Force was concentrated and wait for it to cross over to take him back.

For someone who was used to always exercising his will, it was a very hard test, but he had no choice but to trust in Rey and be ready for when she arrived. Ben wondered what that moment would be like. Would she reach out to him as she did to her? But it was better not to remove those memories.

Ben decided he couldn't just sit around and do nothing, at least he could say goodbye to his father and Luke and Chewie, even if they were all a figment of his imagination and that plausible world. They were helping him and he couldn't guarantee anything that would happen in that place when he left.

_He would never see them again._

It was a fatal thought, but Ben was at peace with them all. He needed to tell them how sorry he was for everything that had happened, that he regretted the pain he had caused them.

But when his father approached, he could not say any of this out loud. There was no need.

_He already knew._

“I'm here for a reason.” -Han reached out and stroked Ben's cheek like that time in Kef Bir, but this time he felt _more real._ “Don't waste your time with us. Your girl's waiting for you!”

“But what about you?” Ben couldn't stop his eyes from filling with tears. How he longed to take them all away too!

“I don't know, kid. Our time is limited. But when you leave, we'll always be with you. You must go on, for all of us, for her and for yourself.”

Luke placed a hand on his nephew's shoulder with affection.

“We're even, Ben. You've done well. Let _her_ be your guide.”

 _Her_? He means Rey? His mother? The Force?

Ben didn't have time to ask, because an explosion threw him away. The sky was filled with hundreds of TIE fighters and he could no longer hear clearly because of the noise they were making, something he knew perfectly well.

There was no escape from the First Order, and he now knew that his time there, in that eternal place, was coming to an end for good or ill.

Without looking back, desperately praying that his family was well, he ran to the entrance of the cave and threw himself without a second thought into the void, not resisting the call that seemed to emerge from that place.

Ben knew what he would find down there thanks to the information he shared with Rey. Luckily, the long summer afternoons swimming in the lake at his grandmother's house on Naboo were now good enough for him to quickly reach the shore, where the mirror was located.

What would he do now? Outside the explosions were shaking the island to its deep roots in the center of the planet. Was it the impacts of the ships' cannons or was it something else? The rocks of the dome were beginning to fall and he was trying to avoid them, moving them with the Force.

Well, it was hopeless. He had to make a decision. He had to leave that place, because soon there would be nothing left of it.

He turned on the lightsaber as a precaution and the blue blade reflected infinitely in the darkness of the cave. He closed his eyes, and placing his other hand on the mirror, he directed all his remaining energy into a prayer.

_“Let me see her. Let me see Rey.”_

The sounds and tremors ceased, now he could only feel a great silence and opening his eyes he noticed the emptiness around him. It seemed that he was no longer in Ahch-To, but he could not see Rey anywhere.

If this was the World Between Worlds, Ben wasn't sure. Would he be trapped there forever? Would he have escaped a terrible fate to fall into a worse one?

The ground lit up with small circles of white light as he walked cautiously along one of the platforms. All around him countless stars appeared, up and down, surrounding him. The place was vaguely close to the few indications Luke had given him before, but the magnitude of the place was not something that could be expressed in words.

Why didn't he see Rey?

It was her voice calling to him that he had heard seconds before, he had no doubt about that.

Finally, a small silhouette appeared in the distance. It approached slowly, growing larger as it reached the place where Ben stopped to wait.

With joy he distinguished the unmistakable features of Rey, at least her signature. But when he was about to run into her, a red reflection sidetracked his attention. The double sword lit up with a fatal noise, and the mysterious figure's yellowish eyes fixed on him with cruelty.

_-Ben. I knew you could not wait for the scavenger._


	14. Come cover me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Come cover me with you  
> For the thrill  
> 'Til you will take me in  
> Come comfort me in you  
> Young love must  
> Live twice only for us"
> 
> Nightwish - Come cover me - Wishmaster.

The World between Worlds was not what Rey had imagined.

It was like nothing she had ever known and she had arrived there with more conviction than references: the certainty that this step was absolutely necessary for everything to end soon, so she would not let doubts multiply in her mind.

_A place that exists outside of time and space._

She could not compare it to Exegol, with his endless, chilling, blue light, although the endless emptiness before her produced the same feelings of unrest as the planet of the last Sith. At that time she did not know where to go either, but that did not stop her from reaching her destination, defeating Palpatine and ending the war.

Although that didn't exactly end well for her or Ben.And that's why I was doing all this, that's why I was risking everything, to find him and bring him home.

She had not been thrilled with the immediate success, but the immensity of the place made a great impact on her. Rey knew that the World between Worlds was precisely an existence - she could not refer to that place as a space - that communicated different realities, establishing connections between worlds, generated by links of the Force.

She had not imagined that she would extend a hand in the mirror, take Ben by the lapel of his jacket and bring him back, although the innocent image brought a trembling smile to her face. That's not how the Force worked, is it?

I had heard his voice calling to him, but where was he?

_"Let me see her, let me see Rey.”_

A vast and endless field of stars stretched out before her, as when she spent whole nights gazing at the sky of Jakku and her heart shrank at knowing she was insignificant among the vastness of the galaxy. But even then Rey knew that the reality in which she lived was something she could touch and suffer, like heat and hunger or lack of water.

The feeling was disconcerting, like walking with your eyes closed and she didn't like it at all. The fear increased the need to move quickly and find Ben immediately.

The young woman experienced a kind of dizziness because her heart was beating faster and faster, anticipating the long-awaited meeting. How was she going to find her way to Ben in a place like that? It was infinite and seemed to grow as she went along.

However, she managed to calm down. She felt the presence of the Force in its purest form as she had never felt it before and everything was disconcerting. Light and Darkness were present in every atom, in apparent repose, as if everything - or nothing - were about to happen.

Rey knew she had to pay attention and not let her guard down.

Her light and cautious feet barely made a sound, as if she were stepping on a carpet that dimmed the sound and lit up as she walked, forming circles of white light that expanded and disappeared behind her.

It was then that voices that seemed to come out of nowhere slowly flooded Rey's senses. Although she was sure that they did not imply any threat. They came from far away and in greater or lesser volume, but she could not distinguish them all, much less understand the meaning they contained. Nevertheless, some phrases were remotely familiar to her, as if she had heard them before. She could not be sure, but many of the words he heard were his own and he had uttered them before. Should he stop and listen?

Focusing her gaze as she adapted, she noticed that some platforms extended under her feet as if they were roads or bridges. All of them were connected forming designs that even in the middle of such a distressing situation, Rey found harmonious and amazing. Some curved and intertwined with others, even beyond what she could see with her eyes. She could even venture that they kept growing as she walked, for the World between Worlds was far from static and there only the laws of Cosmic Force reigned.

What Rey knew about this phenomenon was limited because she had not had much time to study the Force and its mysteries, but she remembered that it appeared in some of the ancient Jedi texts that she reviewed before going to the Pasaana mission.

But at that point, her dizzying experience made up for the lack of academic precision, because she had felt surrounded by it several times since she touched Luke's sword at Takodana, even before. She felt it when she returned to Ahch-To and set fire to Ben's TIE with the intention of staying on the island forever and Luke's ghost appeared. Also during her final battle when the voices of all the Jedi melted into it and helped her to get back on her feet when all was almost lost.

That's why she was sure that Ben was alive, and she knew it now. She had in no way felt that he had become one with the Force when he disappeared into her arms so suddenly, but Rey knew that such phenomena could take a relative amount of time and that was the reason he had avoided meditating after Exegol. She wasn't ready for that, she wasn't ready to have to see or hear him and admit that he was no longer a part of her life even though she promised him that he would always be with her.

She had not really wanted to accept it then, because the pain her loss caused her, that unanswered call from the other side, was like screaming in a room but unable to hear herself, as if a part of her had simply melted away without a trace.

Until that night when she fell asleep and came to him with the help of someone or _something,_ because Kira had not thrown much light on the subject. Maybe the Force was amusing itself with the misfortunes of two lovers who didn't have a chance or time to get to know each other, maybe it was a capricious entity that could bend under the right pressure and that was what Rey was about to prove. Motives for winning were beyond her.

And what role did Kira play in all this? Rey knew that when she returned she was exposed to a new encounter with her, but it was the least of her worries and she was no longer afraid of what she might do to her. Instead, she feared for Ben and for those she had left behind.

After a while of walking, Rey noticed that some bridges ended abruptly in larger circles of light with strange symbols, which looked like portals. The shapes varied from one to another and were impossible to count. He knew she had to find the right door because Ben was behind one of them, but which one? How could she avoid ending up in the wrong place?

There was no choice but to approach one of them and at that point I was too curious to find out what secrets they were keeping. He let himself be carried away by the movement of his feet and when he was a few centimetres away from the first portal, an image began to form inside the oval frame as if he were watching the screen of a holopad. A very realistic one, by the way.

The scene took her breath away.

Han hugged Leia as she held a little boy with abundant black hair and brown eyes who could not be other than Ben himself. They seemed to be in their home and not in the middle of a war, they were definitely seen in peace and happy enjoying that moment that now Rey witnessed silently by the work of the Force. All three were radiant and the emotion of something lost forever oppressed their hearts.

Ben stretched his chubby little hands out to his father with curiosity and spoke in that language that only babies understand. Han would let him do his thing and Leia would smile, until suddenly the child began to cry heartbroken and for no apparent reason. His mother tried to calm him by saying soft words near his ear and she succeeded after a few distressing minutes. Han had moved away from them when the crying started and was now exchanging a worried look with Leia.

_"My son is alive. The future is bright. ”_

Luke had warned Leia that the brighter the light, the darker the darkness and from her womb Ben was tormented by that struggle. The moment of his birth was the beginning of a new era, but his inner conflict had just begun. With all that Rey knew he could now say that some things could have been avoided, Leia and Han perhaps had made mistakes and so had Luke. But something that was always there inside him was beyond the limits of what was predicted, his vulnerability, his blood and his legacy, all of which Snoke used to subdue Ben later.

_"My boy, I created Snoke. I have been every voice you have ever heard within your mind. ”_

Reyturned suddenly as she heard Palpatine's unmistakable voice in a spasm of terror, thinking he had returned _again,_ but it was only an echo of the words Ben had heard in Exegol when he first arrived there.

That explained the crying he had just witnessed, in that place where time did not exist and everything seemed to revolve around him and his history.

The image had disappeared and in its place was Ben, who was already a teenager and was listening to his parents arguing behind a door. Rey could feel their fear and also their resentment, while all around him some objects were falling from their shelves and breaking against the floor. The boy clenched his fists, frustrated that he could not contain his power, knowing that Han and Leia did not know what to do with him and wanted him out of their sight.

Rey wanted to extend a hand towards him, forgetting for a moment that he could not intervene and that it was only a memory that for some reason she was witnessing.

_"It's too late to apologize, Mother. Although you have reason to be concerned. ”_

Again, a familiar voice distracted her, but this time she felt not fear but sadness. It was a thought from Ben, of the day that could have ended Leia's life aboard the Raddus but it didn't.

Rey understood then that these were episodes in the life of Ben, the one she knew, the one she had gone to find, the one whowas seduced by the Dark Side and became KyloRen. The World Between Worlds offered her a whimsical mosaic of images and voices, fragments that in some way guided her to him and that had helped to build that reality in which he was held captive since Exegol.

_"I never lost hope for him_ "

Leia's voice filled her with peace and pain because those were her last words to Ben on that day when Rey wounded him mortally at Kef Bir.

The image was gone and the portal was gone, so she kept walking around more and more anxious to find Ben, she felt him very close. She wondered if she could pass through those portals and for a second was tempted to do so, although she couldn't imagine the consequences and knew that nothing could change the past, and that whatever the intentions of whoever had led her there, she would surely warn him not to change things.

What I had to do was find Ben and get out of there, as soon as possible. But there were plenty of doors. How was she going to find him? It could take thousands of years and she wasn't sure how much time he had left, plus the time there was relative. How much time did they have left?

_"Ben, no!"_

Luke's voice came to her from another of the doors, but Rey already knew what he would see there. The green sword of the Jedi, ignited by instinct to end the life of his Padawan and nephew, Ben's frightened face and the blue sword he used to defend himself, the explosion and the screams, the flames devouring everything and then Ben escaping from the temple in a ship that would take him to Snoke, after having confronted his companions.

It was the exact moment, the moment that could have changed everything. If she were able to intervene, to turn the tide of history, how many lives would she have saved besides his? She forgot that he was someone else, that the young man terrified in front of her was not the person she was looking for. Anyway, it was impossible to change anything now and yet too tempting for Rey, who couldn't help but utter his name in a sigh, falling to his knees in front of the gate.

-Ben...

The eyes of the young version of Ben, bewildered and serious, met those of Rey through the portal, _as if he had really seen her._

_"Who are you?_

-It is not possible...

The Rey retreated, frightened, as she had done that time in Takodana when she had her first visions. The Ben on the other side stood up and started walking towards her with curiosity. Somehow his call had reached her and she was able to alter the course of events.

_-Don't do that, Rey._

Another voice, one that she could not recognize and was no more than a whisper near her right ear, sounded inside her head causing her a little dizziness, a slight but effective jolt that brought her out of her trance in time to check that the portal was gone. Something in that voice convinced him that she wanted to help him even though she had no way of knowing the identity of his carrier. She was trying to show him the way.

\- What do you want? Where's Ben?

A perverse laughter echoed through the place, tensing even more the muscles than Rey who prepared for a confrontation. _I recognized that laugh_. A chill ran down her back and ruffled herskin, the pain of the recent, healed wound on his leg seemed to react to Kira's sinister laughter.

" _I told you, you scavenger! You were not to return. ”_

But she couldn't see her anywhere and the echoes faded away leaving only the sensation of terror. That place was a test of her mettle and threatened to make her lose what little sanity she had left.

The voices were opposite, as if they were the two sides of the Force, fighting to keep a part of Rey. What was real about what was happening? How much was illusion? Something didn't fit because she didn't feel Ben behind any of those portals that were possible worlds.

_-You're right, none of those portals will bring him back._

Again that voice, Rey did not know what to believe. Yet she trusted her because something told him it was right.

-Answer me. -Who are you?

In front of her, an extremely tall, thin woman with green hair and a pale face materialized. She was majestic and decidedly not human, or at least seemed to Rey to be of a different species. The young woman could feel the Force flowing through her, _into her,_ as if together they formed a single entity. She looked powerful but not offensive, so she decided not to light her sword because it would make things worse.

-I have had many names, but I am known as a Daughter. I am one of the wielders of the Force and I will help you to get it back, but you must hurry. Ben is in danger.

Rey barely softened the tension in his body and listened with interest. Leia had briefly explained to him about these creatures and the dealings she had made with them, which indicated to him that he was on the right track. But he needed more information before he could be fully confident.

\- Why would you help me? What do you want in return?

-The balance of Force is unstable since you parted. The Dark Side claims your soul and that was their intention in offering you a glimpse of the past in the portals. If you had passed through either of them you could no longer return and both, _the two who are one_ , would be trapped forever in irreconcilable worlds.

\- Where do you belong? How do I know you're not lying to me?

Daughter had no expression, nothing to indicate to Rey if she was friend or foe. All he could do was trust the security she inspired in him, but he was afraid of making a mistake again, as he did when he heard Kira.

\- I can assure you that I want nothing in return and that my only role here is to return them to the place where they belong. I am in charge of maintaining the balance between Light and Darkness. I believe that by now you are able to recognize the difference.

Rey bit his lip, still questioning such claims. He knew that achieving balance would be a difficult task in the future but he didn't want to worry about that until he got to Ben. However, he had many questions: What if Ben had changed his mind? What if everything went back to the way it was in the past?

-We have met before without your help, the Force guided me to Ben. I've come through one of these portals but I don't remember how I did it.

\- It wasn't the Force, Rey. It was Leia.

\- But Kira...

\- Not everything is what it seems here, you will soon see. Kira seized the opportunity that presented itself for her benefit, increasing the confusion within you and tempting you to choose the easy path.

Rey was beginning to understand Kira's enigmas, her meaningless phrases. All this time was a test, a preparation for this moment and now he feared that confrontation would be inevitable.

_Embrace your darkness. Don't be afraid of who you are. Don't fight against yourself._

-The world created by the Princess, no longer exists. Time has reached its limit. Ben has gone through the mirror but he cannot reach your world alone. You must join him because it is his last chance and you must not waste it. Only you can bring him back.

Rey nodded, finally convinced by the words and again overwhelmed by the immeasurable task before her.

\- How will I get to him?

-That won't be a problem. I will guide you.

The woman vanished in an explosion of blinding white light that forced Rey to cover his eyes. When he opened his eyes again a flashing blue flash took the Daughter's place and she flew away at great speed. Rose had told him about _Maridun_ 's messenger butterflies, but he had never seen one in person. The young woman wasted no time in following her, first walking behind her and then picking up the pace. The portals looked like fleeting lines in her peripheral vision and she concentrated on the blue glow that led her to Ben.

_I will always be with you_

It was time to make Ben keep his promise.

* * *

Kira's malicious laughter put Ben on his guard. The echo of his laughter resounded throughout the place and spread to him, invading him with terror. He told himself that he should not be afraid, that he had endured worse tortures and had survived them.

But everything was different now because I was worried about Rey and what Kira might have done to him. He didn't trust the woman and the yellowish glint in her eyes, which reminded him of the monsters in his mind: the disfigured face of Snoke, the empty eyes of Palpatine, the sound of Vader's mechanical breathing.

He was surprised to find no trace or sign of the wound he had caused in Takodana, there was something very strange about the way she moved, as if his shape had changed.

Perhaps it was that place, which altered his perception and confused his senses. Perhaps he was so tired that he began to feel physical pain, as if his body had been asleep, as if he was waking up from a long sleep.

But I was right. Kira was not what she claimed to be.

\- Where is Rey? What do you want now?

Kira stopped a short distance away from him, her black cloth hood still concealing much of her face and holding the lit sabre firmly in one hand.

\- Too many questions, _dear._ I don't know what she sees in you. It's obvious that you're not the smartest of the two. Although I'm surprised you were able to get through the portal without help. How does it feel to have failed those who trusted you?

Ben realised that Kira was trying to destabilise him, and to tell the truth he was very close to losing his patience. But something told him not to attack her because that was just what she wanted. That's why he kept his hand close to Leia's sabre, which was hooked onto her belt. He wouldn't activate it unless he had to.

\- Nothing you say will stop me from reaching her. _Forget it_.

\- Oh... You think you are so strong and determined now that you have _solved the riddle_. Let me tell you that you have no idea what is really going on here. I will show you.

Kira finally left his face exposed and _it was not what he expected. She_ was definitely not human, let alone a _woman._ Somehow she had become something else.

The gleam in his eyes persisted, now he had an incarnate glow that Ben had only seen in his nightmares. His pale countenance contrasted with reddish lines that ran from his crown to his forehead and created the illusion of tears at the corners of his eyes. He was a little taller than him and kept his clothes dark.

\- Who are you? Or should I say, _what are you?_

The voice of the strange being sounded mocking and evil, though it retained traces of all the voices it had heard before. His laughter didn't hurt Ben this time, but the fear was growing. What else did that place have in store for him?

\- I'm surprised that someone like you, who says he's so studious, doesn't know. Frankly I am a little disappointed, I expected a more suitable reception, especially for a true _fan of the_ Dark Side...

Ben was getting tired of his interlocutor who evidently knew him too well to play with him, attacking his weak points and his fragile self-esteem. He would try to attack him with his own weapons, although he doubted that this would work.

-Would you please _enlighten me?_

\- Oh yes... I had forgotten that you are a real cynic. There is a lot of your father in your heart. I still don't understand why you killed him... And I think _she_ will never forgive you...

His fists closed tightly and his lips drew a tight line. He was so eager to put an end to this _monstrosity_. But I couldn't do it until I got some answers from him.

\- You were going to tell me who the hell you are.

\- Of course... They call me Son. I am a Force-wielder.

Ben shrugged his shoulders and looked at him as if he were the most insipid thing in the world.

\- You really don't know? You should be afraid of me!

\- The only fear I have is dying of boredom with you. If you have nothing else to say to me, step aside so that I can pass. I don't have time for this.

_"I'm coming for you Ben, wait for me!"_

Ben released all the air he had been holding. Rey's call had filled him with confidence and trust, because he had no doubt that it was _her_ voice he had just heard. Son grimaced as he guessed at his thoughts, no secret escaped him, least of all in the World Between Worlds, where he was more powerful than anywhere else.

 _\- Boy_. You shouldn't underestimate me. You can't leave, you haven't seen anything yet.

Son stretched out a hand to Ben and threw him violently against the edge of one of the portals, not without first giving him a malevolent smile.

The last thing Ben felt before his head started to spin was the beating of hundreds of wings around him and the voice of Rey calling him louder and louder.

After that, everything went dark.

* * *

Rey was running after the butterfly trying not to get tired, but it seemed that he was getting nowhere. What if he was actually walking away from it? I had no way of knowing.

_"You must prepare yourself. My brother has come forward."_

She heard Daughter's voice as if emerging from inside her own body and hurried off.

"A family reunion. Are there many of you?"

_"No. Just us and Father. But we can take any form we please."_

"Son wants to hurt Ben?"

_"You will try to show him that he is not good enough for you, he will tell you that he does not deserve you. And he will do the same with you, you must be careful. I can't do anything for you anymore."_

"You've done more than enough and I'm indebted to you."

The butterfly spun around doing funny pirouettes and lost sight of the void of the stars. Rey felt a little afraid but slowed down because the road was coming to an end.

_She had found him._

She distinguished a familiar silhouette in the distance and was overcome with emotion. After all that had happened, after so much fighting for him, he was only a few steps away and nothing would separate them anymore.

_But something didn't fit._

\- Ben?

He was on his back and very still, so he approached with caution. He was wearing black clothes, different from the ones he wore during his last connection. I couldn't see his hands but I could swear he was wearing gloves and his lightsaber was red and cross-guarded like...

\- No!

_Kylo Ren._

* * *

Ben woke up laboriously, his body was hurting all over that he would not bother to identify, he would have time to heal later, once he found out what he had gotten himself into now. When he managed to focus his gaze, he discovered that not only was he still in the World Between Worlds, but that there was no trace of Son anywhere. At least in that respect he could remain calm, although he would not let his guard down.

He stood up and started walking aimlessly, not wanting to admit that he was as lost as before. A deathly silence surrounded him and that did not give him a good feeling. The voices that had come to him as scraps of conversation were now silenced.

He looked at the portals that appeared at the ends of the platforms, guessing that he had arrived there through one of them but without being able to specify from which one, although it did not make sense because he was not going to return. He couldn't do it and all he had to do was keep going.

\- Ben?

_It was her voice._

\- Rey? -he turned to meet her, still not believing his luck.

_It looked like her._

The young woman walked slowly towards him, with some reservations. Ben couldn't blame her for being suspicious, he had experienced it before, but he was a little disappointed because he imagined that their reunion would be more emotional. He could hardly contain his enthusiasm, the desire to run to her and take her in his arms, celebrating that they would finally be out of that dark place.

_"Something is wrong"_

When she was a few meters away, he extended his hand towards her as he had done before, hoping to shorten the distance between them. But Rey did something that hurt him deeply. She turned on her lightsaber and prepared to attack.

\- Rey? What...?

\- Don't you dare touch me!

Her eyes were tinged with fury and contempt. Her gaze hurt Ben because it reminded him of an ominous time of darkness, their first encounters. It was as if he were in front of that scavenger of Jakku who wanted to see him dead. A spasm of anguish twisted his stomach, something told him that everything had been too simple until now and that this was a final test.

\- What's going on? -Ben moved towards her but Rey pointed the sword in her direction.

\- Don't even think about taking another step.

\- You wouldn't do this. This is not who you are.

\- Now you think you know everything about me! You think you're so smart! Why did you abandon me then? Why did you never show up when I called you? Why did you promise to return when you had no intention of doing so?

\- You must calm down. We must get out of here. This place does strange things...

\- I will not calm down! Did you really think I was going to come back to you? I came all this way just to make sure you will never set foot in my reality! I would never risk peace in the galaxy or my friends to save someone like you.

Ben's blood froze in his veins, his fears took hold of him again and for a distressing moment he believed in what she was saying. He had been naive, it was obvious that she was too good for someone like him and there was no certainty that he could control his dark side forever.

But her words did not hurt any less.

He had held on to it, to the hope that it symbolized. He had placed his salvation in another person when nothing in him was worth saving. Rey was right. The effort was not worthwhile. He was not worth it.

_"We will do this together. ”_

He could not articulate a word, could not believe what was happening. He felt betrayed, the rage consuming him little by little, his mind darkening. Again, he was back to square one.

_"I don't want KyloRen back. I want Ben Solo back. But I can't get one back without the other. ”_

Where did these voices come from? It was undoubtedly Rey speaking, reminding him of events of the previous days, since she broke into the _Falcon_ that day, looking for him. But everything was mixed up and he had to fight against the urge to cry and also with a growing headache.

_"The darkness rises, and the light meets it."_

What Snoke said in the throne room brought the image of Rey fighting beside him as if he could see it.

_"KyloRen died. My son is alive. ”_

\- Father...

_"Ben!"_

\- Mother...

_"Embrace your darkness, Ben. ”_

Was it Rey who spoke to him? Somewhere in her heart she still believed in him. He had not heard her utter those words before and perhaps she was doing it for him at that moment.

The woman before him was an impostor, an illusion created by Son to torture him and who knows what other intention.

The truth broke through his mind and took away his sadness. In its place a new determination was born. He wanted to live and he deserved to, Rey was still waiting for him.

He lit Leia's sword and prepared to fight the false Rey, while witnessing her horrific transformation.

He was right.

_"Very good, my boy. You've passed the test. Now prepare to die. ”_

* * *

\- Scavenger. Did you really think you'd never see me again?

Rey retraced her steps while looking at the man in front of him. She couldn't be going through all that _again._ The man in front of her was not Ben, she felt it in her heart. But then, where was he?

\- What have you done with Ben?

\- Wow, you're hard to fool. I thought I could convince you this time, but it's obvious you're still insisting on saving that scrawny...

\- That's enough. -Rey lit his light saber and the golden blade illuminated his determined face.

\- You can't make it easy for me, can you?

KyloRen grimaced with evil and began to transform himself in front of his eyes. The young woman knew that he was the Son even though no one told her, because everything about him indicated a close affiliation with the Dark Side. He was the complete opposite of the Daughter and she would have to be very careful with him.

\- I will not give up without fighting for him.

\- Silly girl! You can never defeat me by yourself.

Rey knew that Son was right but held the weapon firmly to attack. He would risk it for Ben, because nothing made sense without him. She would renounce to the Force if she could; she did not need any of that to know that they were much more than a dyad. Even without that condition Rey felt complete with him.

— She is not alone.

The blue glow of another lightsaber on her right indicated to Rey that the true Ben was finally appearing.

She uttered his name in a drowned voice, and wanted to run towards him and take refuge in his arms, but they had to get out of there first.

_Why is the Force connecting us?_

Ben stood by her side and, not abandoning his offensive position or losing sight of the Son, spoke to Rey through the link, repeating the words that she had told him so many times before, but now they were overflowing with love and trust.

_We will do this together._

Like the last time they fought together, they prepared to attack. Son stood up in his full height and stretched his fingers toward them. He believed that the victory would be his, he would end the dyad that was taking away his chance to gain power with their ridiculous love and legendary power. They were no match for him.

But he did not consider two issues that would be the cause of his failure.

The Force existed in every corner of that place outside time and space. The bond between Ben and Rey was firm and radiant, fed by feelings that both claimed to feel for each other and by their own self-confidence, since both had overcome many trials until that moment. There was no way to separate them now; there was no more powerful will than theirs.

_Two that are one_

And they had an ally in the world between the worlds, the only one who could show them the way back. Daughter intervened again to help Rey and spoke to her without her brother's hearing.

— _Save the weapon. Take his hand. The portal is right in front of you. Get out now!_

What followed was a series of events that occurred at great speed. When their hands met, the Force circulated within them like never before, flooding them with energy that was a perfect balance of light and dark.

Visions of all kinds were presented to them in a mosaic of colors and sounds, sometimes joyful and sometimes painful. But in each of these scenes, they were always together.

A white and shining radiance, like an outburst that expanded throughout the place but did not harm them, blinded immediately the Son and distracted him, giving them a chance to escape.

Neither of them looked back; they only cared about returning. They located the door and ran toward it as if their life was going away, ignoring threats and shouts that wanted to keep them there. Just when they were a few steps away from it, a strong pull dragged them, but they avoided the grip coming from a last effort of the Son to overcome them.

But a part of the damage had repercussion on Rey, and Ben felt through the bond that she was fading away, his hand slipping from her grip.

_No, we are so close. Do not leave me Rey!_

When she collapsed in front of him, Ben carried her in his arms and pressed her against his chest, using his own back as a shield before a new attack of Son that luckily resisted.

The gate was activated just in time and he stretched to cross it, solving the last stretch with a great jump and falling from the other side with violence. The blow was as intense as when Palpatine threw him to the pit in Exegol, but he managed to keep the Rey from suffering any damage.

Behind them was the wall of mirrors hermetically sealed. The silence of the cave, with its wet rocks and ghostly reflections, welcomed them.

_Ahch-to_

All he could think about was the Rey and his delicate state, with the renewed fear of having to repeat the history that had gotten them into that trouble before. This time he could not risk giving up his life force, although he would do so without hesitation. But after a few minutes of trying to revive her by conventional means, he found that she was still alive and even offered her a shy but triumphant smile before falling into a peaceful sleep.

Ben arranged some strands of hair that had escaped from Rey's bow, clearing her forehead to deposit a soft kiss on it. The tenderness of the gesture made her smile in her sleep and he knew then that they were out of danger, they just needed to rest and heal some wounds.

_I love you, Ben._

The message reached his heart clearly and brought a smile to his face as well.

\- And I love you, Rey.

Although he would have loved to stay in that sweet position, with her sleeping on his lap, Ben knew that they could not stay there because they needed help. So he got up slowly, carried her again in his arms and looked for the exit of the cave.

_Follow the light, my friends are waiting on the other side._

Rey did not have the strength to speak, but continued to guide him in that special way that she only shared with him. Ben was at peace, somewhat worried and very hurt, but with the peace of mind that everything would be easier from now on.

When they finally came out of the cave, the blue sky of noon welcomed them. The island was calm and seemed oblivious to the turbulent moments they had just witnessed. The ocean water moved with an unusual cadence, as if welcoming a new day and a new life.

Ben spotted the _Falcon_ parked on a flat rock and looked at it eagerly. If before it had meant to him a sad and lost past forever, a memory of his parents and all that he could no longer have, now it symbolized hope. He looked down at Rey, who was still sleeping calmly but bodily and alive in his arms, imagining all the places they would visit together and the adventures they would have thanks to his father's ship, which was the only legacy he would accept.

\- Rey!

Two people approached them and Ben was able to recognize Rose Tico and the Stormtrooper FN-2187. They were still far away but their presence implied that they would soon be home.

_His name is Finn_

\- I know that. 

Ben rolled his eyes at the correction. It would take him a while to get used to his beloved Rey's family. But it didn't bother him at all if it made her happy. He might even get along with them.

There was nothing he wouldn't do for Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well friends, the adventure is almost over. We still have a little way to go but I'm experiencing the bittersweet taste of having to let these two go.  
> I have come to love our beautiful dyad so much during these months, I feel that I have grown up with them and I hope that this can be seen in history.  
> This is my first attempt, but in between so many things have happened for which I will always be grateful. Many times I wanted to leave Ever Dream because the carousel in my mind was taking me through strange places, blocks and frustrations. But thanks to this idea that began to form after TROS, I met valuable people who will accompany me forever, people who pushed me to follow and guided me, who fed me with advice and had patience with me.  
> I hope you enjoy this almost final that bears the title of my favorite song. Ben and Rey are safe now and I feel that I have closed this cycle somehow, because now I can continue with other projects. Don't be alarmed! We have one bonus track left.  
> Thank you to all who have come this far, it means a lot to me and I hope you can forgive the mistakes. Emotion beats grammar sometimes. THANK YOU FOR READING!


	15. Ever Dream

_Ever felt away with me_

_Just once that all I need_

_Entwined in finding you one day_

_Ever felt away without me_

_My love, it lies so deep_

_Ever dream of me_

**_Nightwish - Ever Dream - Once_ **

* * *

Rey woke up slowly in the quarters of the _Millennium Falcon,_ recognizing the room that had been her for months when she decided to retire on Tatooine. She slowly got up, hoping to regain control of her body after what seemed like a long and well-deserved rest. She stretched out her hands and legs before leaning on her elbows to end up sitting on the bunk, checking to see if someone had placed a bacta patch on her back. Then she remembered the last blow of Son before crossing the gate and was glad not to feel any pain. The wound was superficial and already healed completely. Anyway she felt a little tired and did not know how long she had slept. Her stomach gave her a hint about it because she was very hungry, more than usual.

Images of every minute of the adventure paraded through her mind and she was happy it was over. Everything had happened in just one week that seemed to last for months. Her perception of time would no longer be the same after her trip to the World between Worlds, but she was sure of one thing: she was no longer going to waste a minute of her life, she was going to use it all together with Ben.

At some point she had stopped talking to him through her bond to surrender to the long-awaited dream of victory, a type unlike any she had ever felt before, the kind of dream that comes with the satisfaction of having done a good job of bringing Ben back. The thought of that was enough to bring a smile to her face, even if he wasn't there to witness it.

She was surprised that he was not by her side because she had felt it intermittently while she was asleep. She knew that he was reassured to have left her in good hands with Rose and Finn, and even felt his presence while they cured her back. Ben had never let go of her hand, comforting her in a way that only he could do and assuring her that everything was fine. Rey would respond in her sleep and sometimes call out to him, as if she feared that it had all been an illusion. But perhaps it was just that she was exhausted and Ben must have been too.

For a fleeting moment she felt a turn in her stomach, the fear of having been deceived by Kira and being again in the same place where everything had started. Her mind was feeding her fears, inciting her to think that when she left the ship she would be in Hoth, in Tatooine or who knows where, but without Ben. She discarded those ominous thoughts with her iron will. Surely he was near even though he could not see him, and she had successfully accomplished her mission. She could feel him somewhere on the ship and at peace, perhaps at rest.

However, she needed evidence to calm her anxiety.

Looking around, she found that the Ancient Books were gone, which was a good sign because she remembered leaving them on Tatooine. But the ship didn't seem to be moving so Rey thought there was a possibility that they were still in Ahch-To, and in fact he expected it to be because it wasn't ready to return yet. On a nearby shelf was her belt, the weapon that Han gave her, and her lightsaber, along with Ben's robe. This last one raised her spirits and she caressed the garment carefully, as she had done days before, before starting her journey. The difference lay in the stability that reigned around her, as if her soul no longer felt alone, as if everything was in its place.

Gentle steps alerted her that someone was approaching before the door opened to offer her a glimpse of Rose at the threshold. The last traces of tension left Rey when her friend set aside the tray of food she was carrying to embrace her affectionately.

“You've woken up! Welcome back.” Rose couldn't hide the happiness she was feeling when she saw the young lady. A quick scan of her emotions indicated to Rey that all was well indeed.

“Thank you Rose.” Her voice still sounded a little drowsy, but she was quick to ask what she most wanted to know. “Where is Ben?”

“Oh, don't worry. We've convinced him to get some rest, although something tells me that it won't last long when he finds out you've woken up. He has prepared this for you.” Rose took the tray again, and again the impetuous Rey's stomach made its presence felt as she saw the appetizing food. “It is something he calls a space waffle. Try it, it looks good.”

Rey did not wait for a new authorization to attack the delicious dish, but she was kind enough to offer some to her friend before, but Rose shook her head.

“He promised me that he would get some sleep if I brought them to you intact. I think he was dying to bring them to you, but Finn had to help me persuade him not to.”

Rey put breakfast aside and took a really worried tone.

“How did Finn take it?”

“Let's just say he's trying hard.” Rose grimaced, not wanting to be compromising, but rushed to reassure Rey. “Everything is going great, in fact Ky- Ben is... he is not what I thought.”

“I know, it will take some getting used to.” She tried to sound serious but was given away by the little dimple that formed on the side of her mouth and they both ended up laughing.

“I had the opportunity to talk to him a little while I was helping him with his injuries. Mild, minor injuries. No big deal.” Rey looked at her curiously.

“Has he let you take care of him?”

“After a time of much debate. He wanted to use the Force to heal them both but he was too weak and Finn stopped him.”

“How did he do it?” Rey would have liked to see that.

“He threatened him with something that Ben couldn't resist. He told him that if for some reason he were to disappear again because he was wasting his energy, he would save him the trouble because he wouldn't let you go through all this again. Finn told him that he would _turn him into a Force ghost himself_.”

Again they burst out laughing, although Rey was amazed at the humility Ben had shown, because he had no trouble imagining the great effort he must have made not to be angry with her friend. On the other hand, this made her love him even more; being patient was another of the qualities she did not know about even though he had shown it in so many ways during the last days. The young woman was radiant with happiness and pride.

“Ben turned out to be a pretty nice patient, he didn't even complain. Although I think he was building up his energy to hit Finn as soon as he recovered. And I don't blame him.”

“Thank you for that, Rose. Thank you for everything you have done.”

“It's funny, because I thought it was going to be very strange to have him among us, but it was only at the beginning.” Rose offered Rey a mischievous smile. “You can tell he's crazy about you. I caught him making love smiles when he thought no one was looking at him and you should see how he tries not to be bothered every time Finn says your name.”

“Oh... Should I be worried?” Rey got tense thinking that maybe I was demanding too much of him and that I should intervene. Perhaps exposing him in front of her friends so suddenly and without their intervention was being difficult for him to handle. But her friend reassured her.

“No, not at all. I think he'll end up getting along. In fact, they have both played several games of Dejarik. It seems that he is a champion.”

“Is he?” Rey became enthusiastic again, thinking about the things she still had to know.

“Yes, although I have caught him letting himself win on purpose. I guess he wants to ingratiate himself with Finn. Who knew?”

“It’s incredible.” The young woman breathed a sigh of relief and after a moment returned to reality and asked her friend what she had wanted to know for a long time. “How long have I been sleeping?”

“Only about three standard days...” Rose shrugged.

“Three days?! Oh... no.”

“Relax! You needed to rest. Ben was by your side most of the time and we took turns seeing if you needed anything. To tell you the truth, I was jealous of how you slept so peacefully. I think that was because of him. He took care of your leg injury too. I think he would be an excellent nurse even if he didn't have that power you have to heal yourself.”

Rey blushed a little as he remembered how comforting it was to feel Ben at his side, holding his hand all the time, putting nightmares aside. She felt guilty for being the object of so much attention because she had never been in that situation before and he must have been even more tired than she was.

“Where exactly are we?”

“Still on the island. Poe has communicated and wants to see you on Coruscant when you are ready. He says he has news for you, he may have found a place. He didn't want to reveal any more details in front of Ben and said he would contact you again when you woke up.”

Rey shook his head a little when Rose finished speaking.

“Coruscant doesn't seem like the best place to me. You will meet Ben there.”

“Don't worry, we'll take care of the details and nothing will happen.” Then she put a hand on Rey's shoulder to encourage him. “You have achieved the most difficult thing, Rey. You should feel proud and happy.”

“It is enough for me to know that he will be fine.” Rey looked at his friend with his eyes about to fill with tears. “I have a feeling that the test is not over yet.”

“You will be fine. I promise.”

She was happy with the way Rose talked about Ben but was afraid that the rest of the galaxy would not be convinced by his charms. The world that was receiving him had not yet forgiven him even though all the people he cared about had. New challenges and new struggles would come and he would have to be ready for anything. But Rey trusted his friends and Ben's ability to show himself as he really was, as he always was. In time they would learn to love him as she did.

* * *

_Would you do it with me_

_Heal the scars and change the stars_

_Would you do it for me_

_Turn loose the heaven within_

_I'd take you away_

_Castaway on a lonely day_

_Bosom for a teary cheek_

_My song can but borrow your grace_

Ben lay down on the small and uncomfortable bunk bed embedded in the wall of the sector that served as the kitchen of the _Millennium Falcon._ He had not closed his eyes during those first three days since his return to life because it was more important to watch over his beloved Rey. But he was at peace because she only needed to sleep and so did he, only anxiety kept him awake. That and the damned things that Rose kept putting into the ship. The creatures were making noise but what distressed Ben most was the way they looked at him, with those big, dark eyes that seemed to be always on the verge of crying.

He decided it was best to get some air and got up to walk around the island before it rained again. As he walked down the ramp he thought with a smile how much he would like to see the rain with her, remembering that day during one of his first connections when he watched her for a few seconds enjoying the phenomenon without her seeing him.

« We won't miss any rain. »

Calmly he tried to gather all his memories to get a better idea of the people who before would not have hesitated to take him prisoner but now were his new allies and much more than that, they were important to Rey.

Rose Tico had proven to be someone to trust, the young woman spoke animatedly when referring to her friend and that served to get to know Rey a little better. In the beginning she met his suspicious look, but this did not discourage her, but she was determined to amend her mistakes one by one, with actions that would show that he had changed and was willing to do anything for the happiness of his dyad. Ben did not talk much but had many things in common with Rose. He helped her with some emergency repairs to the _Falcon and_ they shared some family recipes. Even without having Rey awake, everyone was relieved, as if a wound that began before the war had finally closed, before they were even born.

With the _traitor it_ was a little more difficult but he reproached himself for being so hard on him. He remembered that even in his second life, Finn had helped them, showing that he cared about Rey beyond all else. Perhaps what worried him was his sensitivity to the Force, tenuous but persistent, which made him more like himself than he thought. There was nothing to be gained by arguing anyway because he did not want to cause Rey any worries and knew that very soon he could go away with her to another place for a time that he hoped would be endless.

They remained in Ahch-To awaiting the instructions of Poe Dameron, the last General of the Resistance. Ben was not bothered by their distrust because he had the advantage of his time in the World between Worlds, in that reality he learned to know him and admitted that he owed him at least a great apology for having tortured him at Starkiller. He had to be more careful with him because it was not certain that they would ever get along. Although in no way wouldhe try to provoke him because he was focused on learning to dominate and be responsible for his emotions, he also planned to put all that passion into other more satisfying activities, such as showing Rey how much he loved her and trying to make her happy with him.

He dreamed that they could train and work together in harmony, sharing and discovering new secrets of the Force. They would create something new, just as he had always wished, but only now did he understand and see it as a reality.

While walking he approached the sector of the island where they were in stone huts. A group of Lanais looked at him with curiosity when he greeted them. They had helped them with food supplies and toiletries but in no way had they allowed them to spend the night in the village. Ben understood a little of the language they were speaking and helped by his common sense and what he knew of the place, he understood that only Jedi travelers could enter. Although he didn't consider himself to be anything of the sort, he was curious about the place where he and Rey first connected through space and time.

« Until Luke showed up. »

He longed to be able to take her to the place he had seen on that occasion, the green planet where he wanted to make a home for her with his own hands, that paradise that existed somewhere in the galaxy and waited for them. It was a fantasy that would take time, because at the moment he had nothing but what he was wearing and he doubted that anyone in his right mind would want to get involved in business with someone like him. His influences were null and his credits would have vanished, not that hewould agree to lay the foundations of his future with a resource that was stained with blood. He would do everything from the beginning no matter how difficult it was.

The Lanais had rebuilt the Rey's hut and now it was no different from the others, but Ben knew it was his because instinct led him to its threshold. Once there, feeling daring, he made a gesture to enter, but a voice interrupted him.

“I said I'd see you later, kid.”

Ben turned slowly, he knew that voice.

“Luke.”

His uncle's ghost looked quite real in broad daylight, but its transparency gave him away as an ethereal work of the Force. There was no trace of anger or irony in the smile he gave Ben. Somehow it made him feel that he was proud of him and forgave him everything. The young man accepted the peace offering with a nod of his head, it was crazy to think of the last time they were face to face, when their feelings for Luke were totally opposite. Not that I could now consider him a friend, but an ally. He would listen to whatever he had to say.

“I always knew she would bring you home, Ben.” He came a little closer and pointed to another of the cabins that had a metal door. “There is something I would like you to do for me.”

“Uncle. I'm sorry for everything that happened...” Ben knew he couldn't do anything but outline a deplorable apology, but he had to try. He stared at the floor, completely embarrassed and miserable again.

“You should not blame yourself anymore. We were all wrong to abandon you.” Luke came a little closer and added quietly. - At least you can be sure that it was not you who destroyed my academy.

Ben looked into his eyes in surprise and confirmed what he had always suspected.

« Snoke.»

“Come on, she's awake now and I'm sure you're eager to see her again. Bah!” Luke waved his hand as he muttered something about breaking traditions and laughed only at his own jokes.

Ben wasn't sure he wanted to follow him, but he opened the door of the cabin and went in, followed by his uncle. He instructed him to remove a loose stone from the wall that functioned as a kind of hiding place. In the hole there was only a small leather bag with a small but heavy object inside.

“Open it. It belongs to you.”

Ben pulled the cord and emptied the contents of the bag into his other hand. Han's aurodio dice glowed, catching some of the light that filtered through the door. Ben looked at his uncle gratefully and closed his hand over them, as he did that time in Crait. Only this time they were still there when he looked again.

“Now, go! The sooner you leave, the better. I can't stand the complaints of the porgs and the caretakers any longer. This is a sacred island!”

“Do we have your blessing then?”

“Do you really need it?” Ben smiled sideways and shook his head. “Of course not. The Jedi Order no longer exists. You can do something if you wish or you can ignore it all. The Force will always be with the Skywalkers.”

* * *

The two young women were laughing heartily at the _Falcon_ when Ben arrived and Rey's blush was enough to confirm that they were talking about him. It was a joy to see her awake and so happy. He took delight in watching her for a few moments from the threshold until she noticed him and gave him a bright smile that took her breath away. It was only for him.

“Ben!”

She tried to stand up but her legs still felt a little weak. He shortened the distance between them and rushed to hold her down while Rose discreetly left the room and closed the door, moved by the scene.

“Hello, sweetheart.”

Ben held Rey to his chest and brought his nose close to her crown to fill it with the scent of her hair, which was unbound and falling in undulating cascades on her shoulders. She tickled him and her laugh never sounded more precious to him, so he continued his caress until the two of them were tempted. The embrace lifted Rey a few inches off the ground, though she could swear she floated every time he was near.

Rey felt the echoes of Ben's laughter in her heart, as she had placed her ear to hear the strong, determined beats that indicated the dream was just beginning but both were now awake. She rested her hands also to be able to feel the warmth he radiated and after a long breath, she released all the air and the worries she had been keeping.

They stayed like this for a moment, Ben surrounded her waist and she put her arms around his neck so she could look into his eyes and see his fascination. A mischievous glow took hold of her as she stood on tiptoe so that their faces would be at the same height.

“When do you plan to kiss me?”

Ben let out a tortured sigh.

“I think you've earned it.”

The two of them were smiling when their lips met. It wasn't their first kiss but they were as moved as if it were. It was a kiss full of longing, a long awaited kiss, the beginning of a new era and new sensations that Ben and Rey wanted to experience together and without wasting time.

Rey did not resist the impulse to place her hands on either side of Ben's face to deepen the contact, opening her heart and mind so that he could witness her rampant thoughts. He was taking it very calmly because he was afraid of doing something wrong, but he was finding it increasingly difficult to control his emotions. Rey was tempting him with visions so sweet that he felt his control slowly disappear.

She let out a cry of surprise when he began to move his hands beyond her waist to her lower back. Ben immediately stepped away thinking that he had hurt her, remembering that she had the bacta patch Rose had placed on her, but she denied it with another laugh.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No... and it's not like I'm going to break into pieces. I grew up in Jakku, remember?” Although she thought she could easily get used to him spoiling her that way.

“I know you are the best scavenger in the galaxy and the bravest.” He placed her hair behind her ear with tenderness and gave her one of those smiles that made her tremble. “But as long as I can, I'm going to take care of you. No one will hurt you. I've already caused you too much...”

“Don't say that.” Rey took his hands and intertwined his fingers with her own. “We’ve met even when all the odds were against us, we chose each other again and again because we wanted to be together. The past brought us here and I wouldn't change anything no matter how painful it was. Do you trust me?”

“With my life.” Ben spoke in a deep, vehement voice. “My soul belongs to you.”

He kissed her again, this time slowly, driving her crazy with the movement of his lips and tongue, which timidly made its way into her mouth. Rey was ecstatic, feeling that her body had become fire and that nothing else mattered. She pressed herself against him and answered his sweet siege with courage, demonstrating that he was not the only one who could cause this kind of sensual torture without suffering the consequences. She moved her hands to bury her fingers in Ben's thick dark hair, something she had always wanted to do and she was not at all disappointed by the tingling she felt spreading from the palm of her hand to her toes.

Something was unleashed within him, an impulse so deep and secret that he had never dared to question, as if he had waited years to be discovered, waiting for her, his Rey. Suddenly he needed more, he wanted to kiss every inch of her skin as if he were thirsty, and he was encouraged to see that she received with enthusiasm the caresses that had become more daring. Rey bent down so that he could kiss her neck and abandoned herself to the sea of sensations that his burning lips produced. She had dreamt of being close to him, surrounded by his strong arms, but no fantasy compared with the reality of knowing that no one would take Ben away from her and that her love was returned.

Despite the shared passion, Rey could not help but feel a little guilt. He knew that Ben had barely slept during those days and wanted him to rest. Gathering all her strength she gently pushed him aside so that she could speak to him sweetly, but she felt that he interpreted it as a sign of halt that Rey hastened to rectify.

“It's not that, Ben. There's nothing I want more at this moment than...” she felt herself blush intensely as the words got stuck and she lost her breath because of the passion she saw in his eyes.

“It's okay, sweetheart. We'll have time for that.” His heart skipped a beat when he realized that she wasn't pushing him away, but that something else was happening. “What is troubling you?”

The tenderness of his voice melted the last barriers of Rey, if she had any left. But the desire to protect him was even greater. The dark marks under his eyes were all the confirmation she needed.

“You should get some sleep.”

“I will never sleep again while I am alive.” Ben had a chill when he remembered that it was precisely a dream that started it all. “I don't need it.”

“Yes, you do!” She was crazy about his stubbornness but couldn't blame him for that.

“Then you must make sure that you will be with me when I wake up.” and kissed her again, drowning out her protests as he lifted her in his arms and laid her on the bed to settle down with a feigned innocence by her side. “Was this what you had in mind?”

“ Mmm... no... but if I can get you to listen to me like this... I can make the sacrifice.” she said as she curled up and he traced a path of kisses from her forehead, through the tip of her nose, to her lips, where he paused longer. She responded calmly, again feeling as if a storm were raging with her, making her lose her mind.

!I won't be able to sleep if you keep looking at me like that.” he whispered seductively near her ear, now playing with her and thinking he was in control of the situation. But Rey was amused by her mischievous arrogance and took it upon herself to put him in his place.

“Very good. Go to sleep then.” She turned her back on him and settled down next to him so that their bodies touched each other from head to toe. Surrounded by him, she guided those hands that she loved so much until she held them right under her breast. She had never felt happier and closing her eyes, she let out a sigh of satisfaction.

Ben was desperately trying to control his hands, it took him a horrible effort to leave them alone when she was so close and what he really wanted to do was to go through her whole body with them and discover Rey's reactions. He could feel her enjoying his punishment, dazzling him with her warmth and scent, but he did not want to overwhelm her with the nature of the things he was thinking about.

Rey let slip an exclamation that was equally as much surprise, fun and embarrassing. A heavenly sound that drove him crazy.

“Too late for that, Ben. I can hear everything you're thinking...”

“Oh. Can you?” he half-heartedly stood over her, pressing his body against the bunk that creaked in response.

Rey was breathing very hard his eyes were darkened by the passion that was as intense as he felt for her. Both were struggling to contain themselves, fascinated to discover that they could find other grounds on which to fight and which were not at all unpleasant. As if they were tasting food that had been denied for so long but were resisting despite starvation.

She attracted him this time, giving him the welcome he so desired. He was afraid too, everything was new for both of them, but he didn't care anymore. Ben caressed her cheek tenderly and then walked away. He wanted to tell her so many things but had so little to offer her. His fear was that she would regret everything one day, that he would disappoint her.

“You will not.” Rey stood up and sat down by his side and took his face with her hands, forcing him to look at her.

“I have nothing, Rey.” anguish took the place of passion, his voice trembled, and he felt frustrated, defeated.

“We don't need anything else. How many times do I have to tell you?” The young woman gave him a sweet kiss on the forehead and took a moment there. “Besides that is not entirely true. We have the _Falcon.”_

“Do you really want to live forever on a ship?” he looked at her with disbelief but also with infinite love for what she was telling him. “You deserve better than a piece of junk like this.”

“Any place next to you will be good for me because you are my home. Besides, it's not junk. To me, the _Falcon_ means freedom.”

Ben remembered the Han dice he had put in his pocket and took them out to show them to Rey. Maybe she was right, all pieces were put back in their place and they did not owe anything to anyone. He knew that her friends expected much more than the enthusiastic defense of Rey and her convictions that KyloRen would not return, but he was willing to collaborate if that would allow him to stay by her side forever.

“Where did you get them? I haven't seen them since I tried to contact Han, but they may not be the same.”

“Luke had them stored in his hut Well, his ghost.”

“Luke? Oh no... I forgot he was here.” Rey opened her eyes like dishes as if she suddenly remembered something. “Have you been around the island a lot?” She hoped he hadn't seen the ruins of his TIE over there. He looked at her with half-closed eyes until he discovered what she was hiding from him.

“You were really mad at me that day. I was an idiot. I'm sorry.” Ben held her firmly against his body. He really didn't deserve someone like her. He was grateful to the Force and whatever had brought them together. He even felt able to turn to his comic _Solo_ side to take the bitterness out of the situation.

“You couldn't have taken me to Exegol in that thing anyway. I only had one seat.”

“If you had accepted, I would have found a way. You can be sure of that.” He was eager to explain to her some possibilities he was thinking about, although he decided to leave that discussion for another time. He was thinking about the future again, so he examined the surroundings of the room with a critical eye until he looked at the bed with a wince. “I think we could manage. For now.”

“If it's any encouragement, I have strong reason to believe that you were conceived right here.” Rey felt flirtatious and accompanied her words with a seductive caress on one of his arms.

“Rey, if you are trying to _cool_ the situation, you have succeeded. Thinking about my parents is the last thing I want to do right now.”

She burst out a contagious laughing, and then they stayed like that, hugging and looking at each other adoringly.

“Rose told me that you have been kind to everyone, even Finn.”

“I guess I'm pretty nice when I put my mind to it.” She felt him tensing up a bit but it was like a fleeting shadow.

“Really, thank you for everything you are doing.”

“You know I only do it for you.”His tone was sweetened.

“I don't think so; everyone should know your charming side. I love you Ben.”

“I know.”

“Is that all you're going to say?” She turned away trying to look offended. He flashed a sideways smile that stopped the Rey's heart for a moment. «Why did he have to be so handsome?» Rey was getting an idea of what the discussions would be like from now on.

“That's because you still find me _attractive and gentle_.” He shrugged his shoulders. She shook her head, and Ben looked at her in puzzlement. “You don't think that anymore?”

“No. Now you are attractive, gentle _and mine.”_

They kissed again, about to lose count and with the certainty that this time they would not stop. Rey caught Ben's lower lip between her own and he moaned in protest but delighted with the daring, as he gently pushed her back onto the mattress without interrupting the kiss that quickly took their breath away. She ventured to touch the small fraction of skin that the robe left exposed on his neck while she dreamed of going beyond it, under it, to caress it with fervor. He turned away, enthusiastic and willing to fulfill her orders, already with all his senses crazed by Rey.

But a message over the loudspeaker made both of them stop suddenly.

 _“Rey, Ben...there's an incoming call from Poe.”_ Finn's voice was followed by Rose's uncomfortable throat clearing. “ _You've been_ _there a long time. Are they okay?”_

Ben dropped down defeated next to her and started laughing hysterically with his face sunken in the pillow and about to cry.

“I think the time for being nice to your friends has come to an end.”

“I agree. I will help you with that. We'll start with Finn.” Ben leaned on his elbows to look at her boldly and she rolled over to face him as she devoted her full attention to tracing imaginary drawings on the sheet with her fingers. “Do you think Poe will mind waiting a little longer?”

“Oh, I'd love to piss off Poe. There is nothing I like more and I hate to say this, but... it will have to be another time.”

“Only if you promise that _we will piss off Poe_ more often.”

Ben kissed her with passion for every answer and they prepared to face their new life together.

* * *

On the other side of the door, in the hall of the _Falcon,_ the two friends stopped insisting on not getting an answer. The lovebirds had barricaded themselves in the room and there was no way to get them out. Finn walked back and forth but Rose could barely contain her laughter.

“Do you think she's okay?”

“I think you shouldn't worry so much. And I imagine they must be _very well.”_ Rose thought about how much she wished she was in love and was happy for her friend but she also felt a little sad. “My sister would say that they must be _hooking up a power coupling.”_

“What do you mean? You're not implying that...?” Rose opened her eyes wide to her friend's naivety and nodded repeatedly. “No... They wouldn't be able to...”

The bedroom door opened instantly and the couple left amidst laughter and hugs. The general state of both was more than pitiful in terms of etiquette but neither seemed to feel bad about it. Finn crossed his arms waiting for an explanation, but Rose elbowed him and gave him a look of disgust that warned him to keep his mouth shut.

“Okay, here we go. Poe said he would wait but apparently he has disconnected.” Finn gave Ben a poisonous look, as if blaming him for Poe's impatience. He pretended he didn't exist and gave Rey a resounding kiss on the cheek as he put his arms around her. “No, wait... he's still there!”

The holopad was activated and Poe appeared in front of them showing divided emotions. He was happy to see Rey in one piece but was not ready to accept Ben standing next to her in that protective pose. He took a deep breath because he had promised his friend that he would help her and they owed her much more than the salvation of the galaxy. And though he hated to admit it, he owed Ben Rey’s salvation.

“I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first, Rey?”

“The bad ones.” Ben hurried to answer and she looked at him with censorship and amusement. Poe rolled his eyes trying to bear the new member of the family.

“The bad ones.” She confirmed, waiting for the news.

“ Okay, this might interest you. _Ben_.” Poe did his best to keep the contempt to himself. “A few days ago we detected an unusual movement in Lothal. Apparently a group of fanatics found a sympathizer of the Final Order and were looking for him in exchange for a reward. Some of our people avoided the operation and rescued the subject, but although he was still alive, nobody managed to recognize him because of the blows and his state of malnutrition. They were about to send him to Coruscant for you to help us identify him, but the very clever one got away. A couple of locals say they have seen him feeding and protecting a cat that won't leave his side. Of course, these may be simple rumors.”

“You can count on me. When you find him, of course.” Ben responded with sincerity even though he had a vague idea of who he might be.

“I hope so. We may need you to stay here for a few weeks to help us with information.” Poe looked at Rey again. “Which brings me to the good news. You'll be happy to know that there won't be any kind of trial against Ben. Your debt will be considered settled if you turn over the names of all possible survivors of the Order, locations of their barracks, warehouses, and all the secrets you know.”

Rey felt a great relief in her heart but was concerned about Ben's distress and let him speak.

“What will happen to those people? Many had families they would want to protect. If I get those names they will be banished forever.”

“There is a program for your protection. Believe me, we have worked hard thinking about everything, while you were in...”

“Poe.” Rey stopped him with a warning.

“Sorry. Of course there will be collateral damage but we will try to ensure that no one gets hurt. It will take time.”

“That's great news, Poe. We'll be working together.”

“ expected nothing less from you, Rey.” Poe leaned back in his seat, looking exhausted but calm. “However, the prisoner's recovery will take time, so we do not expect you until further notice. We will see to it that Ben has no problem being recognized and that anything that might affect the safety of the two of you is done.”

“We're not going anywhere. We can stay on the island, there is no one here to recognize us.”

Ben let out a snort. The idea of sharing that little paradise vacation with Rey with his uncle around was not at all appealing to him. He couldn't stand any more interruptions and something told him that Luke would be happy to disturb them at the worst times.

Finn and Rose looked at each other in alarm. They weren't quite sure they wanted to spend so much time on a desert island with those two that they couldn't take their eyes off each other. As much as they loved Rey, they felt that they had plenty of time and were anxious to be left alone.

Apparently the only one who was happy to stay in Ahch-To was Rey.

“Hey Poe.” Finn approached his friend's projection so that others could not see his face when he spoke. “Do you think you can send a ship to look for Rose and me?”

“I'll see what I can do. I need you to go back to Ajan Kloss. There's still a lot to do there.” Finn thanked him with relief. And Poe looked at the couple again. “As for you, there is something else I must tell you.”

“What's going on?” Rey feared more bad news.

“After Leia's death, all kinds of condolences have arrived. During her lifetime she made valuable friendships and many of them are quite influential. Especially the Queen of Naboo with whom they share a blood affiliation by the royal house of Naberrie.”

“That makes me something like a Prince without a kingdom. What about that?”

“If you are so kind as to let me finish, I will be happy to explain it to you.” Ben bit his lip and let Poe continue. “The current Queen is a distant relative of Leia but she is aware of all her _unusual_ situation. I have no idea how she knew or who told her, but she knows that you have returned.”

Rey and Ben looked at each other and the same name resounded between them through the bond.

_« Leia»_

“She offers you asylum in memory of the Princess, if you wish to accept it, but do not imagine anything ostentatious. The idea is that you remain anonymous until we are ready to introduce Ben to the world. Consider it and answer as soon as possible so that I can send you the coordinates through a secure channel. The site he has prepared for you is hidden from the star charts.”

“Thank you Poe. We are indebted to you.”

“Just avoid getting lost in some lost world again. At least for now.”

Rey felt Ben move away a little and let go of his hand to make a fist. He didn't let her know what was bothering him and she respected him, but she couldn't help but worry about him. she let him go with a hurried apology as soon as the communication was over so that he would have time to be alone with what was haunting him.

Finn and Rose began preparations for their impending departure with enthusiasm, diluting a little the tension they felt at the site. Rey was a little encouraged and was even able to accept Rose's jokes and Finn's affectionate reproof. Soon they would be gone and she was sure she would miss them. But after a few minutes she felt the urge to know how Ben was doing and went down the _Falcon'_ s ramp in search of him.

She found him very soon, sitting on a flat rock near a cliff, his eyes immersed in the ocean that was pounding furiously against the shore. She approached slowly and sat down by his side but said nothing, expecting him to speak but he did not and there was no need. Rey could understand what it was all about because she too saw a mist on the horizon. The perspectives were different than they would have wished and their plans would take longer. But it was a good thing to know they had a chance.

“We don't have to if you don't want to. We can go back to Tatooine and spend some time there. The house is habitable.” Since he didn't answer, she went on. “Or we can go back to Jakku, I think under a few layers of sand we could dig up my old AT-AT...”

“Rey. You hate sand.” Ben was trying to avoid the subject with some kind of joke, but Rey was already warned against that trick.

“No. _You_ hate sand. I can tolerate it. Just because I've accepted your family name doesn't mean I have to listen to all your traditions.”

“It is true. Regarding that... “He looked at her with eyes full of love and mischief. “Technically that doesn't make us related...does it?”

Rey shrugged her shoulders just to provoke him.

“Just what I thought.” Ben stood up and she looked at him not knowing what she was going to do next. Then he extended a hand to her and helped her to sit up.

The wind was just a breeze and the threat of a new rain had hidden the sun with leaden clouds. The air became warmer when he embraced her again and she took refuge in his fortress. Rey noticed that he was moving a little, as if he was looking for something in one of his pockets and turned her head to see what it was.

“When we arrived in D'Qar a few days ago, my mother gave me this. She said she was confident I would know when it would be the perfect time to use it.” Ben opened the little box and took out a gold ring with two blue stones that she thought were beautiful. “I didn't think anything of it then, but I kept it. I think she knew all this was going to happen and was making sure I didn't mess it up again.” He gently took Rey's left hand and caressed her fingers delicately. Then he inserted Leia's jewel into her ring finger.

“Ben. This is... - Rey could hardly say a word.”

“I think Rey Solo sounds better than Skywalker. But to me you will always be Rey, just Rey.”

* * *

In the cabin of the _Millennium Falcon_ there was no place for more happiness. After a trip that seemed too short for both of them, they arrived at the planet that promised them a temporary refuge and that turned out to be as beautiful as the visions of the future that both had experienced days before.

The days passed slowly, to the delight of the only two inhabitants of the place, who learned to enjoy everything they had never dared to dream of. The hours were filled with laughter and love, the nights with confidence and passion.

Before they could notice, they were back on the ship to go to Coruscant. Ben hung Han’s dice in place and there they were suspended forever. Rey placed her hand over his and together they activated the lever to perform the jump into hyperspace. The ring, always on her left hand, was the symbol of an alliance that would last for all eternity.

“We will do this together.”

“Always, sweetheart.”

* * *

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all of you, who gave Ever Dream a chance. For me it will always be a proof that the fear of the blank sheet is overcome and that when you do what you love, there is no time or space to stop you. Thank you for reading this little story that was born because of a movie.


End file.
